Week 14 Picks: Monogamy Just Doesn't Make Sense For Everyone

Also, Jessica Simpson is now dating Billy Corgan. It's weird because even though I know this is hands down the most badass dude she's dated, it feels as if she's hit rock bottom because he's so old. Good for him though, she's way hotter than any of Tiger's mistresses. I guess there are some barriers that not even Tiger can break: chicks will always take rock stars over golfers. I think the world is a happier place that way.





Anyways, the picks:


INDIANAPOLIS -7 over Denver: I'll be shocked if Indy doesn't finish 16-0.

Cincinnati +6.5 over MINNESOTA: I don't want to be hopping on the "this is where Favre totally self destructs" bandwagon, but I can only go by what I see. I said in our pre-season podcast that even if Favre started well, it wouldn't last. It certainly lasted longer than I thought, but now it seems to be coming to an end. 19 yards last week: Adrian Peterson is not healthy.


TAMPA BAY +3 over NY Jets: I'm going with Josh Freeman over Kellen Clemens because he's at home and he threw five picks last week, which means he's going to be extra careful with the ball this week.


KANSAS CITY PK over Buffalo: The Chiefs were embarrassed by a division rival last week. I like them to bounce back a home here.


GREEN BAY -3.5 over Chicago: Two teams on totally opposite paths here. Despite all the fuss over Jay Cutler this off-season, it will be very apparent that he is the inferior quarterback in this matchup.


NEW ORLEANS -10 over Atlanta: The Saints have had some close calls lately, but this Falcons team is done.


Detroit +13.5 over BALTIMORE: Two touchdowns seems a little steep to me. These Lions play hard, and the Ravens are not so intimidating this year.


Miami +2.5 over JACKSONVILLE: Miami has the right kind of swagger. Jacksonville's win over Houston last week only came with Schaub missing time. They are the ultimate "blah" team.


NEW ENGLAND -13 over Carolina: As long as Randy Moss is on time.


HOUSTON -6.5 over Seattle: This Texans team is so much better than their record. I have a feeling they are going to be like the Cardinals. We heard for years and years about how the Cardinals were going to be a surprise team. They'd show flashes, but wouldn't be able to put it together. Then, last season, after we'd all written them off, they finally prove us right. Not this year for the Texans, but they're getting there.


TENNESSEE -13 over St. Louis: Vince Young is questionable, but I don't really know if it even matters. Yeah, he's been great. But it isn't just him. This is a talented team, and they will all benefit from this momentum.


OAKLAND +1 over Washington: Wow, is this tough. The Raiders have to be taken seriously when they play at home. But, the Skins have been playing way over their heads. Still on the West Coast, I'll go with the West Coast team.


San Diego +3 over DALLAS: It will feel strange to be this happy about the Chargers winning.......


NY GIANTS -1 over Philadelphia: The stakes don't get much higher here. I can't talk about it.


Arizona -3.5 over SAN FRANCISCO: The Cardinals are better than the Saints, and they just spanked the Vikings. Assuming they won't have to play a postseason game outdoors in the cold, don't be surprised to see this team in the Super Bowl.


Again, good for you Billy:

Week 14 Picks

We recorded a podcast with our picks for this week. However, we sound like slow-talking robots. We're going to try and get this fixed by next week. Rather than go without picks, I thought I'd post our picks for this week so that we can have an accurate tally on the roomofzen picks for the entire season.

Before we start:

"Like everyone else, I'm still disappointed that a receiver didn't honor Plaxico Burress last weekend by catching a touchdown, then pretending to shoot himself in the leg with the football and limping around. This never would have not happened if Chad Johnson was still alive."
--Bill Simmons, in his week 14 picks column. Quotes like these are why he makes the big bucks.



We were 13-3 last week


Bears (-6) over Jaguars: I like the Bears to cover here.

Minnesota (-7.5) over Detroit: When we podcasted, I took a leap of faith on Detroit. But, with Pat and Kevin Williams now set to play, I have to take the Vikings to cruise in this one.


Houston (+7.5) over Green Bay: The Texans seem to be hitting their stride. I can't stress enough each week how much I love what Aaron Rodgers and his crew of receivers are doing. But, that Green Bay defense is shotty. 7.5 is too much for Green Bay to be giving.


Tennessee (-10) over Cleveland: I just imagine Romeo Crennel sitting in his office all day watching funny youtube videos and playing computer solatiaire to make the time before he is fired go more quickly. This strategy will not translate well on the field. Shaun Rogers and that defensive line may slow the Titans running game, but I expect Kerry Collins to outdeul Ken Dorsey.


Indy (-13) over the Bengals: 13 is a lot, especially against a Bengals team that seems to keep their losses closely (last weeks game notwithstanding). But, Indy looked as bad as I've ever seen last week. They will come out with a sense of urgency today to prove their worth.


Atlanta (+1) over New Orleans: Even with Will Smith, this Saints defense is too thin to stop this surprising Falcons offense.


Giants (-7.5) over Philadelphia: Assuming nobody else shoots themself in the leg by accident, I like the G-Men to roll and clinch the division here.


Miami (-1) over Buffalo: Miami needs to keep their head above water.


Denver (-7.5) over KC: We have seen two different Denver teams this season. The bad one should win this game by ten.



Jets (-4) over San Francisco: The Jets got smacked back in to reality last week. This is a tough test on the West Coast, but if they are for real then they need to win.



Patriots (-7) over Seattle: "Seattle really sucks" has been one of the more overlooked storylines of this season.



Arizona (-14) over St. Louis: ...........14 points is a lot.......14 points is a lot........but, the Cards are at home and they should get back on track. I think they cover.



Pittsburgh (-3.5) over Dallas: When we originally podcasted, I took Dallas. But, with Marion Barber out, Pittsburgh's defense should have their way with Tony Romo. With DeMarcus Ware out, the Cowboys won't be able to take advantage of the Steelers' shitty offensive line.


Baltimore (-5.5) over Washington: Stop Clinton Portis, stop the Redskins.


Carolina (even) over Tampa Bay: Carolina is undefeated at home and DeAngelo Williams is a machine.