"The Injury"

Where were you when Tom Brady went down with a season ending knee injury? I’ll never forget where I was…Rowe’s Corner Market in Newton, New Hampshire, purchasing tortilla chips, queso dip, and a bag of white powdered Donettes. Everything was coming together perfectly: A rainy Saturday night had given way to a cool, dry, Autumn Sunday afternoon. It was the first Sunday of the NFL season. I was on my way to watching the game with one of my best friends. It really was too good to be true.


But something strange occurred to me when I heard the news: I DIDN’T CARE. And, a full 28 hours later I STILL DON’T. Crazy right? Let me try to take you through my thinking, as honestly, I am still making sense of my own reaction.

First off, some background that most of you already know. I am a huge Patriots fan. I don’t want to get into details about how many games I’ve been to, or how long its been since I’ve actually missed watching a game on TV because that’s pointless and someone will always have a claim to be “more of a fan”. Also, I am a huge Tom Brady fan. I didn’t side with the Bledsoe crowd when he took over the helm, and I have even found myself turning a blind eye to his increasingly metrosexual endeavours when I scorn my friends for the same behavior.

Hypocrisy is indeed a hallmark of a sports fanatic, and one I have learned to embrace. Surely this trait has helped me deal with Patriots PR nightmares such as Rodney Harrison’s purchasing of HGH and Kevin Faulk’s attendance at a Lil Wayne concert…I mean… arrest for Marijuana possession. But now I’m getting off track. The Bottom line is that I want nothing more than to see this team succeed. I want them to win every time they take the field. I was on the verge of actually vomiting from watching them lose the Super Bowl. I don’t think anyone can disagree with the following statement: you don’t almost puke if you don’t care.

So that being said, let’s try to get inside my head a little bit here, as scary as that might be. The following are a couple of theories as to why I just can’t give a shit about Tom Brady being out for the season.

1) Maybe I never really came to terms with the Super Bowl loss. I’m sure it is something that Patriots fans will struggle with for generations: One of the greatest feats in the history of professional sports wrested from our hands in the final seconds of the biggest game of the year. It was, and still is, the ultimate sporting heartbreak of my lifetime. And so, seeing as how I was left a fragile, hollow shell of a fan by the experience, I am too scared to love again, as it were. I would rather avoid the potential for greatness altogether, simply because with the potential for greatness comes the potential for great tragedy, and I just don’t think I can handle that again at this point in my life. Maybe someday if I have kids and other “real” responsibilities I will be able to see how silly this all is. But not now. You see, losing Brady takes all the pressure off. I can go a whole season without having to listen to the talking heads (myself included, I guess) build the Patriots up to a level that is in reality unattainable. Even more so, I don’t have to deal with my team being the favorite every week, or the team that “everyone loves to hate”, or the team that “runs up the score”, or “cheats”, etc…Now we will be decided underdogs, probably no longer favored to win our own division. I like being in the underdog position. It was from this position that the greatest of all Patriot moments was born.

Was the 2001 Super Bowl win over the Rams the pinnacle for Patriots fans? Since “19-0 The Perfect Season” exists only in fleeting memories of what could have been and in copyrighted documents in Robert Kraft’s file cabinets, probably. This isn’t to take away from the Championship wins in 2003 and 2004, but let’s be honest here.

2) Shortly after the injury occurred I admit I was optimistic about Brady being able to return at some point during the season. He did walk off the field after all, and in a situation like this one would assume that all precautions would be taken. Brady is the face of the Franchise, Stetson Cologne, and guys everywhere who don’t want their children to take their last names (Personally, I think it would be funny to pass a name like ‘Babcock’ on to another generation). I was intrigued to see what Cassell would bring to the table. When he led the Patriots down the field for their first score after three rushing attempts that collectively came within 1 cunt-hair of a safety, I immediately texted LaRocque “QUARTERBACK CONTROVERSY!” What an improbable storyline that would be…perhaps the greatest obscure-backup-taking-over-for-injured-starter-and-leading-a-franchise to glory only to have his own obscure backup takeover and lead the team to glory. (Imagine Elton John singing “The Circle of Life” while action shots of Drew Bledsoe morph into Tom Brady morph into Matt Cassel on the jumbo-tron at Gillette Stadium…the crowd goes absolutely wild, the sun sets across the Serengeti…). Of course, with Brady on IR for the year there is no “controversy” so to speak of. The Patriots have already begun auditioning possible quarterbacks to add to the roster including the likes of Tim “Timmy Rattails” Rattay, as a former colleague of mine (a 49ers fan) refers to him. To which I say unenthusiastically…sweet. But doesn’t everyone want to root for Matt Cassell? He has been a backup quarterback for approximately 19 years of his life already, and is there a bigger shadow a backup quarterback could dwell in right now than the one cast by Tom Brady? I want to see him do well. There has to be a reason that he hasn’t been cut yet, right? Has Bellichick ever been really wrong about cutting a player? No. So we should have some faith in him in this instance, shouldn’t we? I think so.

I’m not ready to let the “Bellichick is a genius” storyline go by the wayside…now we’ll really get to see if this is true. Just imagine Bellichick, adorned in his traditional hooded sweatshirt, and Scott Pioli sitting in a dimly lit office over looking Patriot Place...(Pioli) "What do you think about Cassell, Bill?" (Bellichick, staring into the distance) "The Force is strong with this one." No one ever imagined that Matt Cassell would be leading us into battle against the Jets in week 2, and that’s what makes it so interesting. This would just be another game the Patriots SHOULD win, even with the Favre sideshow. Now nobody knows, and I like it that way.

3) All Patriots fans would have to agree that over the past couple of years the initial “team first” mentality of the Patriots has grown in such a way that insiders and outsiders both attributed the success of the team to the success of Brady. It would be foolish for me to argue against this, but one of the things I love(d) about this team is that for the most part it was a collective effort. The Patriots have two of the best offensive players to ever play the game in Brady and Moss (more on Randy later), and at times last year these two players alone were enough to defeat entire teams. With the loss of Brady games are going to be won in new ways: on the ground, with defense, with special teams. Let me point out that the Patriots have always had success in these other areas, but last season was all about their offense.

I love the Patriots Defense, particularly their defensive line, so now we get to see what these guys can do when asked to carry the load. “The Injury”, as it will henceforth be known, opens the door for a whole slew of potential heroes. Isn’t that what it’s all about? Coaches talk about guys “stepping up” all the time, now the stage is set. I can’t wait to see who is going to come up with a big play next. For the last few years Brady has been the default, and I’ll be honest, the superstar quarterback storyline doesn’t do it for me. I think that’s why I’ve hated Peyton Manning and the Colts so much over the past several years. There, look, I’ve just had a breakthrough.


As far as the game goes, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. This was supposed to be another Patriots beatdown. But instead it came down to the final seconds. I was genuinely excited when Huards pass to Bowe fell incomplete in the front corner of the endzone. Really, really, excited. Take the same situation and result but take away “The Injury” and Pats fans would be freaking out. “They almost lost to the Chiefs! Man, they’ll never go undefeated this year…” Think about that. With Brady, every win was taken for granted, at least to some degree. It is nice to expect your team to win every game, but you lose some of your appreciation for a real hard fought victory in doing so. So much of last year became about aesthetics: How many TDs can Brady throw? How many times can they cover the spread? How much can they beat the Dolphins by? People like to say that all that counts is the W, but we all know that’s not true. I got just as caught up as anyone in the sheer beauty of the 2007 Patriots offense. We all drank the Kool-Aid and bought into the hype but now we’ve got a chance for football redemption. We’ve got a chance to go out and win games no one expects us to, by out-hitting, outsmarting, and outworking our opponents. I think that this is real, raw, essence of the game of football, the way it was meant to be played, and why we love it so much. In my eyes a leaping touchdown catch is only just as beautiful as a defensive end two-gapping an offensive tackle and forcing a running back into an unblocked linebacker.

Larocque sent me this email today while he was definitely not at work:

“My thoughts are that I think [“The Injury”] sucks, which feels strange. I have spent so much time resenting and hating the Patriots and Tom Brady. You always hate the team that dominates like that. I've even developed a soft spot for Peyton Manning and the Colts because they seem like that team that is always so close but can never quite defeat the juggernaut (except for that one time, but then the Patriots bounced back and went undefeated). In a way, I would have thought that this was exactly what I wanted. The team that dominates everyone takes a hit, and suddenly things get more exciting. But, that resentment I have and the rooting against the power house is one of the essential emotions that make up my fandom. Now, I don't exactly know what to do with it. Also, as much as I'm sick of seeing the Patriots win, I think that Randy Moss deserves a ring. He's my favorite player, I think that we've seen him mature a lot in his career. And, it seems like he's developed into a leader on the Patriots. It's the role that I always imagined him playing. I thought he had a real shot to get that ring this season. Now I don't. I won't count the Patriots out completely, but if you win the Super Bowl with Matt Cassell that might be the greatest feat of all time.”

A couple of good points here: First, Randy Moss. What can we say. Roomofzen is all about Randy Moss. One of the greatest ever. And, yes, I agree that the loss of Brady hurts Moss’ chances for a ring this season, and yes, that actually does bother me. I want to see Randy on top of the world. For the life of me I just cant figure out what this guy would have to do to lose me as a fan… all I know is that it definitely isn’t having a female friend who winds up injured during freaky sex. That’s not going to cut it. In fact Moss is the only one who I feel bad for in this regard. All the other great Patriots veterans have rings. But on the flipside, now we get to see if Moss really can “make” a quarterback a star. How much can a great wide receiver affect the outcome of a game? The potency of an offense? I think it the answer is going to be “a lot”.

Secondly, If the Patriots do win the Super Bowl with Matt Cassell that will be the greatest feat of all time. If they win the division (still very possible) that would be a great feat. If they get a wildcard spot in the playoffs that would be a great feat. Now, think about this. If they achieved any of the aforementioned accomplishments the Patriots would only be perceived as having done what they should have anyway. This gets back to the whole ‘expectations’ aspect of my personal view on this situation. But I’d like to think that I am not the only Patriots fan out there that will appreciate every yard, every first down, every three and out forced, every goal line stand, and every win a little bit more this year. Let’s not forget that.

I think that is why I don’t care about “The Injury”. I have nothing to worry about now. The worst has already happened. I still have expectations for this team, but they don’t carry the same kind of pressure that they once did. Maybe I took it too seriously to begin with, that’s probably true. And maybe it is only because of the great success that the Patriots, Red Sox, and Celtics have had in the recent past that I am avoiding letting this get me down too much. All I know is that tonight is a double header on Monday Night Football, and Ohio State plays USC this weekend. It is football season and I have games to watch and a team to root for. That is good enough.

And by the way. When analysts start jumping on the Patriots bandwagon, and start beating the drum for those “loveable underdogs”, don’t forget to stare hard at your televisions and say “Go Fuck Yourself Dan Marino.”

Foil in the Oven: I Can Hear The Rumblings....

I can't handle the summer lull anymore. It's July 16th, which means we're more than halfway through July, which means that football season is almost here. Pretty soon, the season previews will be coming out, and everyone will begin making preliminary decisions about how to best approach their fantasy drafts. Well, I can't wait until August. So, I'm going to start with my division previews today. Each week, I'll give you my thoughts on two divisions and I'll pick a winner in each. This week, we have one that is very clear cut, and one that is a little more difficult to predict.



AFC EAST:




There have been a lot of changes in this division, and yet the song remains the same. Last time I checked, the Patriots still have Tom Brady, Randy Moss, Laurence Maroney, Richard Seymor, Adalius Thomas, and Rodney Harrison. And while a repeat of last year's perfect regular season is unlikely, the prospect of the Patriots finding themselves at the top of the AFC playoff picture once again seems almost certain. I expect New England to win the East by a comfortable margin, and to be the sole AFC East representative in the playoffs.

While I am already penciling the Patriots in for the post-season, I do expect their division title this season to look much different than it did last season. This is not the cupcake division that it was last year. I love what the other three teams are doing. And, if I were a Patriots fan, I would not take these division games lightly.

Let's quickly look at the Jets. First, they added Alan Faneca and Damien Woody to go along with D'Brickashaw Ferguson and Nick Mangold on the offensive line. They also added Tony Richardson at fullback. This should help to open up more holes for Thomas Jones and Leon Washington, who I expect to be an effective tandem. The addition of Bubba Franks gives them another solid receiving option at tight end to go along with Chris Baker (note here, Bubba Franks was a great unsung fantasy hero from my college years. Favre used to find him in the end zone all the time). On defense, I think that Kris Jenkins and Calvin Pace were great acquisitions. I don't expect Vernon Gholston to have the impact that many experts do. I don't think that those combine numbers show up on the field. But, those experts get paid for their opinions and I don't. So, if he is the player that many expect, then this team is headed in a great direction. Finally, let's not forget that Laverneus Coles (I love it when Berman calls him Laverneus Coleslaw) and Jerricho Cotchery are both very productive in that offense.


I really want to highlight the Miami Dolphins, who are really getting things turned around quickly. First, it was a great move to bring on Bill Parcells. Regardless of how many new detractors emerge from all of his previous stops, nobody can deny Parcells' track record when it comes to reviving franchises that have stumbled on hard times (New York, New England, the other New York, and Dallas).

I love the miami defense right now. They have Jason Taylor, Jason Ferguson, and Vonnie Holiday on the defensive line (note: people have laughed in my face when I have mentioned Vonnie Holiday, but he was off to a great start before breaking his ankle last season, and he was great in 2006). They have Joey Porter, Channing Crowder and Akin Ayodele at linebacker. They brought in Reggie Torbor, who is a versatile linebacker that can step in and make plays (and has a lot of big game experience after last season). The secondary is not great, but I really like Will Allen. I thought he got a somewhat raw deal in New York. Overall, this defense has the potential to give a lot of offensive coordinators headaches......just not the Patriots.

On offense, there is certainly potential. Ronnie Brown was running well before his injury. Jake Long could be a cornerstone of the offensive line for the next decade. At the very least, we know that Ted Ginn is fast and that he became a bigger part of the offense in the second half of last season. Ernest Wilford is a nice guy to have in the red zone. David Martin and Anthony Fasano are solid tight ends. And, of course, there is always the ultimate wildcard:




All of that being said, you can't feel confident about the quarterback situation. Josh McCown is not a bad place holder, and I believe that he could manage the offense very efficiently if Miami can run the ball. But, what is the long term answer here? Is it really John Beck? Many believe so, seeing as how they passed on Brady Quinn and Matt Ryan.




Buffalo, not to be outdone, has also added some nice pieces in this off-season. They had Kawika Mitchell signed on at linebacker before I had even fully gotten rid of my hangover after the Super Bowl. This was a good addition, but it pales in comparison to the significance of the trade that they made to acquire Marcus Stroud from Jacksonville.
Stroud is a force that should immediately help this Bills defense by occupying blockers and allowing the linebackers to make more tackles. He will also make it more difficult for opposing offenses to give necessary attention to Aaron Schobel. On offense, there are certainly weapons. We know that Lee Evans, Josh Reed, and Roscoe Parrish are a very effective group. In particular, Evans can really stretch the field. Marshawn Lynch had a great rookie campaign, and he should show a good deal of improvement this season.

Biz Markie, 1989, sick:


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AFC NORTH:



Where do you even begin with this division? As has been the case over the past four or five years, I have no idea.

Let's start with Cincinnati. This is a team that could go either way in my mind. On the surface, it seems like they are bursting apart at the seams. I have asked myself time and time again how Marvin Lewis could still be the head coach of the Bengals. Most coaches whose teams have underachieved like this would not have survived last season. And yet, the organization is standing behind Lewis publicly, which is particularly surprising given the off-the-field incidents and the media circus that have accompanied the on-the-field disappointments of 2006 and 2007.



But, then again, who knows. Maybe Frank Costanza was on to something when he created the "airing of grievances" component to the celebration of Festivus. I can remember being completely full of rage in January of 2007, when it was announced that Tom Coughlin had been given a one year extension to coach the Giants. The team, in my mind, had completely unraveled. After a promising start, they had completely gone down the shitter in the second half of the year. On top of that, players were openly critical of the coaching staff, management, and each other in the media. Standing behind Coughlin and extending his contract given the circumstances were unfathomable to me. But, something strange happened. The Giants returned in 2007 as a closer and much more unified team. I don't know exactly what the saying is about having to hit rock bottom before you can rise, but they had. So have the Bengals, you would have to think.


The potential is still there for them to be great. The offensive firepower is still tremendous and the additions of Antwan Odom and Keith Rivers should help to improve that defense. Chad Johnson is always mouthing off. But, as we have seen from his most recent statements, he will be in camp. And, if he's on the field, you know that he's going to perform. I feel a big year from Carson Palmer. And, if nothing else, I expect this team to finish with at least an 8-8 record. But, as has been the case all along, the ceiling for them is much higher.




The Ravens are better than 5-11. Their Monday night loss to New England last season reminded us all that they were still good enough on defense to contend with anybody. As a side note, the performance that Willis McGahee turned in that night was one of my favorite individual performances of the season. However, we are now about half a year removed from that 5-11 season, and while there are several big changes, it is difficult to say whether or not those changes will translate to improvement on the field.

Brian Billick is gone, and John Harbaugh is in. There were a lot of rumors swirling around that many players on the defense wanted Rex Ryan to be the new head coach. You have to wonder how the decision is going to sit with them. But, in the long run this could be positive, as many believed that Ray Lewis was actually running the team's front office as well as calling the plays in the defensive huddle.

This change might be exactly what the Ravens need. They haven't made any personnel changes on the field, which means that they are clearly happy with the players that they have. And, who wouldn't be? Ray Lewis, Bart Scott, Kelly Gregg, Chris McCallister, Ed Reed, Samari Rolle, and Willis McGahee. This is a talented group of guys. I think that there is serious potential with this new coaching staff. The ravens retained Rex Ryan to run the defense, and added Cam Cameron as the offensive coordinator. Remember, Cameron was extremely successful in the same role for San Diego. With Willis McGahee, Ray Rice, Mark Clayton, Derrick Mason, and Todd Heap in the offense, you'd think Cameron would be able to run a balanced offense and spread the ball around. But, there's one MAJOR problem.......

The Ravens have to figure out their quarterback situation. I thought that Kyle Boller played reasonably well last year, and I think he will enter this season as the team's starter. Remember, Gus Frerotte was a pro bowler under Cameron. He also developed Trent Green, Drew Brees, and Philip Rivers. So, Boller deserves this chance. But, if things don't start well, expect to see Troy Smith or 2008 first round pick Joe Flacco. It will be interesting how things play out. But, Boller has the most experience, and I think he is the Ravens best chance for success this season.


I really like the direction in which Cleveland is headed. Braylon Edwards, Donte Stallworth, and Kellen Winslow make up a nice group of pass cathcers (note: Joe Jurevicius has had a rough off-season. At his age ((33)) it's hard to know how much, if any, of a factor he can be). Jamal Lewis had a great year last year, and will be running behind a very strong offensive line (Joe Thomas, Eric Steinbach, and Hank Fraley). It sounds like Derek Anderson, fresh off his first pro bowl, will be the starter on opening day. And, Brady Quinn is an extremely competent backup. On defense, the Browns have picked up Corey Williams and Shaun Rogers to go with Robaire Smith. They will be very strong up front. And, of course, Josh Cribbs is one of the most dangerous special teams players in the NFL.

Much like the Bengals and Ravens, it's hard to predict where the Browns will finish. If things play out similarly to last season, I expect them to finish second in the division with a strong chance to clinch a wild card spot. However, if Baltimore or Cincinnati play up to their potential, it's hard to say for sure that the Browns are the best of the three. There is really a lot of uncertainty in this division.



What I am certain about is that I'd be crazy to pick anybody other than the Steelers to take the AFC North crown. Unlike these other teams, there aren't a whole lot of questions to be answered. Sure, I think that Ben Roethlisberger is overrated. But, he knows how to manage a game. And, with the weapons he has around him (Willie Parker, Santonio Holmes, Hines Ward), that shouldn't be too hard to do. On top of that, I really liked the selections of Rashard Mendenhall and Limas Sweed. These two have the potential to step in and contribute right away. And, defensively, they are incredibly strong. Let's just spout some names off: Aaron Smith, Casey Hampton, James Farrior, Larry Foote, James Harrison, LaMarr Woodley, Troy Polamalu, Deshea Townsend, and Ike Taylor. This team is loaded on both sides of the ball, and I expect them to take this division title. But, I expect a lot of entertaining games along the way.

Next week: the AFC South, the AFC West, and my AFC playoff predictions.