Foil in the Oven: Three Wins, THE HARD WAY

This wasn't pretty but it was a signature Celtics win, regular season style. The Big Three all got theirs, and a role player stepped up. Often times during the regular season, that player might have been Rajon Rondo. Or, it might have been James Posey, Leon Powe, or Glen Davis off the bench. In this case, that player was Kendrick Perkins. Perk has had a great series, but his performances in games 1-4 pale in comparison to what he was able to put together last night. Perk had 18 points, 16 rebounds, 2 blocked shots, and even shot 100 percent from the free throw line! He was only there twice, but a stat is a stat.

Early in the game, a fan was put on the Jumbotron holding a sign that showed Robert Parish on one side and Perk on the other with the captions "The Chief" and "21st Century Chief" written on them. I thought the sign was ridiculous, and verbalized my thoughts pretty clearly. However, Perk silenced my criticism by playing what was hands down the best half of basketball that we have seen from him. The big man had 12 points and 13 boards in the first half and was a defensive force. More importantly, he only had one foul (which shouldn't have even been called), so he was able to log a lot of minutes.

Perk was impressive throughout the second half as well, but his second half game lacked the discipline of his first half game. I think that this statement is accurate, but it could just be a blanket statement that I'm making out of my frustration over the technical foul that he drew. That almost sunk us. Perk is one of those guys who contests every foul that is called on him. I knew the whistle was coming as soon as I saw it. He was a little to emphatic, and he has to know that once they've T-d up an opposing player (Sheed) for arguing a call, they have to do it to you too if you clearly give them a reason. I don't want to take anything away from the big man, because we needed every one of those 18 points and 16 boards. I'm just saying that he needs to work on keeping his emotions in check. This will also most likely prevent him from picking up two fouls in the first four minutes of every game.

I'd be lying if I said that the fourth quarter didn't concern me a little bit. There was a point towards the end of the third when I thought we were going to run away with a 20 point victory. Instead, we almost blew it. Paul Pierce expressed concern after the game, stating that they might not have been able to win that game if it was being played in Detroit. So, guess that in itself is reason for concern. But, again, this is not Atlanta. The Pistons don't ever go away, and it would have been very unlike them to not make a run throughout the entire second half. On top of that, the Celtics didn't play a great game. Rajon Rondo made a lot of mistakes and missed A LOT of layups. The contributions from the bench were minimal. There were a lot of problems with this game.

Doc brushed the point guard problem under the rug last night in the name of taking a must-win game. Cassell was horrible, and Doc clearly has him on a short leash. Eddie House managed to play only nine seconds despite checking into the game more than once. It will be interesting to see what turn this will take tomorrow.

Clearly I couldn't have been more wrong about Tony Allen. I stick to my reasoning. He has been a strong defender for this team all season. Scal dressed last night instead of him. The ultimate slap in the face. If that doesn't cause Tony to get his shit together, nothing will.

I haven't even mentioned Ray Allen, and I really meant to. Obviously he was great, and very clutch. I also haven't mentioned the fact that Sheed shot 9 threes and made 6. He's ridiculous.
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Babcock swung by the apartment yesterday. Although we all communicate daily via e-mail or phone about material for the site, we rarely have the chance to collaborate in person because all of us have a lot going on. So, the opportunity for some in-person collaboration, free from the creative impediment that generally accompanies e-mail and phone correspondence, is rare and can often be valuable. This was a case in which things worked out well. I had finished work at two o'clock. He had gotten out of work in Boston early. Both of us were going to game 5, but with different groups and plans. So, time was of the essence. Despite what people tell you, this is truly when you will be the most creative and powerful because if your project is well-executed it will possess an element of spontaneity that would otherwise be lost.

I had been working on a design for a new Boner Salad t-shirt, and I had hit a wall. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Boner Salad, it is the most bad-ass band that has never recorded a song. A dream that we had, along with Gilby and Smokey, Boner Salad was to be the manifestation of everything that we find bad-ass in the world of music. The first album was to be called Teabag, and the lyrics were to be hard-hitting. The album art would be unrivaled by anything previously released. The energy and aggression of each track and each performance in the album tour was to be so great that people would leave each experience changed in their thinking and want to spread the word of Boner Salad to everyone that they could. But, things never really worked out. Gilby plays the bass, and has experience playing it in a punk band. Babcock plays the guitar. Neither Smokey nor I play instruments, and I don't really think any of us are screamers. And, it would be hard to trust any new comers with our dream. The mission statement of Boner Salad is not something that can be put to paper.





Anyways, I had been working on a new design for a Boner Salad t-shirt, and I had hit a wall. I knew that the theme of the shirt was going to be a burning angel, but that was about as far as things had gone. When Babcock arrived, I knew we would have a sick shirt made in no time. Adorned in sick aviators as usual, I knew his energies were exactly what this project needed. The man is proof that the spirit of Gonzo Journalism still lives in 2008, even if it is only in these less mainstreamed forums. We talked Celtics for a bit, and then went to work. When he left to drive over to North Station, I think we both felt pretty pumped about the final product.

Here it is: the newest Boner Salad t-shirt, available both in red and white .

Just remember, you could donate to cancer research by buying that shirt. Sick.

Also, here is the shirt that has been our best-seller so far.

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This piece from Rolling Stone, from the Hunter Thompson commemorative issue, has always stuck with me. This is probably mostly because I would love to get my hands on one of those books with the bullet holes in them. I realize that having the book can never replace the experience of actually being there with the man and having him shoot your book. But, nevertheless, I would love to get one of those books. It's like having an autographed copy, but more badass.

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I'll be in Mexico until Monday. I am still planning on watching game 6, and if need be game 7. However, I don't anticipate being able to blog about them. See you all next week. Buy some shirts.

Foil in the Oven: Shoot the Ball!

Today's Foil in the Oven is going to be very short because I have a job interview to get to.

Obviously this series will be going longer than I predicted. I'm certainly not surprised that it's going longer, but I still stick to my reasoning. This series may go 7 games now, and it just doesn't have to be that difficult. But, I guess that has been the overarching theme of this entire postseason.

The Celtics were completely out of sync all night long. It's hard to be upset today about the loss, because I can't believe they were in the game for so long. They shot 31.8 percent from the field, while allowing Detroit to shoot 51.4 percent. Everyone in the media, both local and national, keeps saying that the 19 point discrepancy was not indicative of how close the game was. This is true in the sense that the Pistons didn't really seal it until Billups' three pointer with 2:55 left. But, in my mind, that 19 point discrepancy is a very accurate indicator of how poorly the Celtics played.

The Celtics were completely pathetic on offense. In fact, their only real offense was shooting free throws. Now, I'm fine with an offense not getting going because of shots not falling, but the passing is what killed me here. There were so many possessions that started with wild, errant passes that looked like they were flying out of bounds until the intended target would leap up and save them. You know that those possessions are doomed from the start because whoever ends up with the ball is completely flustered and taken out of their rhythm.

And, even worse than the bad passing was the over-passing. Nobody was willing to assert themselves offensively last night, and it drove me insane. How many good looks did Rondo and Garnett pass up? How many times did a guy with a good scoring opportunity suddenly appear panic stricken and kick the ball back out with time running down on the shot clock? The one play that sticks out in my mind is Ray Allen driving to the hoop towards the end of the game, and suddenly zipping this pass off the midsection of an unsuspecting KG. Allen had a good scoring opportunity and KG was following to clean up a potential miss. But, for some reason, Allen squandered a good scoring opportunity by making an unnecessary pass. This was the story of the game in my mind. Right after Billups hit that three to put Detroit up 10, KG got the ball at the other end, and hit a perfect jump-hook over McDyss. I was furious "Why haven't you been doing that all night dickhead!" I screamed. Very rarely do I get so frustrated with KG. But, he had been passing those shots up all night. One of those three guys needed to assert themselves last night, and they passed up the opportunity over and over again.

Now, credit Detroit's defense for not allowing any easy scoring chances inside. They contested everything, but they also committed a lot of fouls. The officials were quick with their whistles last night, which was all the more reason to attack the basket. The way Detroit was playing, Sheed and McDyss may have been out of the game by the start of the fourth if the Celtics weren't so resigned to passing out of the paint.

Obviously this was a poor performance from Rondo. I really thought that Doc should have had Pierce starting the offense up top more often. That has proven to be the best way to get the offense back on track. But, there was probably nothing that could have salvaged last night's performance.



Again, 31.8 percent from the field for the Celtics. 51.4 percent for the Pistons. The Celtics had the deer in the headlights look to them on offense for the entire game, and literally the only mildly positive thing I can say about their performance is "they got to the free throw line a lot, but they could have been their more." They had twice as many turnovers as the Pistons (14-7). And yet, the Celtics were still in a position to win the game. Once Chauncey's 3 ended the hopes of a comeback, they Celtics allowed the gap to widen to something that was a little more indicative of how they played. But, they couldn't have played worse, and they could have won that game. They were only down 5 for much of the fourth quarter.

Game 5 has been a strong point for these Celtics so far in the playoffs. They need to come out strong on Wednesday night. If they do, they will win. Even if they don't, they could still win. But, let's hope they do.

I get the Tony Allen thing alright. I was wrong. When you haven't seen Tony play in a while, your mind tends to focus on his athletic abilities and all of his physical attributes that lend themselves so well to basketball. You forget that he has a very low basketball IQ.

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Maybe Kobe will score 60 points tonight. I need to watch something like that to clear my head after watching last night's game, which was sort of like watching dead cars being crushed in a scrapyard.

Foil in the Oven: Prison Rules

Truthfully, I never thought that I'd be this disappointed about a Western Conference playoff game. I wanted to watch this Hornets team play for as long as possible. I'm not sure why I have adopted them as my second team this post-season. I had to pick a West team to root for, and somehow they took over that role right from the start. Maybe it's because I wanted to root against the Mavs (I really think I'm going to hate them forever for that trade) and Spurs so badly. But, I think it has a lot more to do with the exciting style of basketball that New Orleans plays. Their style is so unpredictable and fun to watch, and yet you can see that Chris Paul is totally in control of the offense throughout the entire game. Unfortunately, their shooting was cold last night, and you need to have everything working if you want to beat the defending champs in an elimination game. I want to highlight the great effort from Jannero Pargo, who scored 16 in the fourth quarter to bring the Hornets within striking distance. In the end, it was not enough. But, I really enjoyed watching this New Orleans run. I am excited to see what pieces they add this offseason and I can't wait to watch them next year. Once I have a little more disposable income, I might even nab one of these yellow jerseys, because I think they are awesome.

I'll be blunt, the Spurs advancing is bad for the NBA. The Hornets wow-factor, combined with the fact that they are new on the playoff scene and they are from New Orleans, would have made for a much more exciting Western Conference finals matchup. The Spurs are like the Patriots. Yes, you respect how incredibly consistent they have been for so long. But, unless they're you're favorite team, you always want to see them lose. It's like this with any of the great dynasties.



Luckily, I don't think we will have to watch San Antonio in the finals again this year. I really like the way the Lakers match up with the Spurs. Pau Gasol will pay his biggest dividends in this series, as he has historically played Tim Duncan very well. Furthermore, as Sir Charles Barkley pointed out last night on TNT, Gasol and Lamar Odom will ensure that Tony Parker will not be able to attack the basket in this series like he did against New Orleans. There's nobody on that San Antonio team, not even Bruce Bowen, that can stop Kobe Bryant, and I believe that Bryant can stifle Manu on the defensive end. I think that these will be high scoring games, and that favors Los Angeles.

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On this day last year, I wore a horseshow around my neck to work. Later on that evening, I stood in a tub with a jug of wine, and Bedell and I spent an hour performing witchcraft rituals that we had found to bring good luck. We chanted while facing all directions, we poured and drank the sacrament of Franzia, we crushed garlic cloves, and we rubbed the wine on pictures of Len Bias and Reggie Lewis. There were pictures of Greg Oden and Kevin Durant on either side of the living room. Then we sat and watched in horror as the Celtics wound up with the fifth pick in the draft.



I immediately phoned for a large pizza (Greek style, extra cheese), drove to pick it up, and ate the entire thing in the car on the ten minute drive home. At that time, I never even considered the possibility that the Celtics wouldn't be figuring prominently in today's lottery. And, I certainly never could have imagined in my wildest dreams that the lottery would be taking place before game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals, which would be taking place in Boston. So, I recommend taking the time to watch the lottery tonight (7:30). Word is that Jay-Z will be representing the Nets, so that should be exciting, and it will give us a preliminary idea of how the draft will play out. Plus, you'll have the chance to make comments like "Jesus, nothing ever works out for us! We can't catch a break!" and then start laughing. It's ok, you've earned it.

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As far as the actual game tonight, I am very interested to see how each team responds to the circumstances of their past week. Many of the analysts that I have heard today (national analysts) are predicting that the Pistons will take the game tonight, because they are rested and the Celtics will have an emotional hangover from the game on Sunday. Certainly, I can see the reasoning for this prediction, particularly after the sloppy game 1 that the Cs played against the Cavs following an emotional game 7 evisceration of the Hawks. However, I don't believe that rest is always good for a team that's on a hot streak. The Pistons were playing great against Orlando, particularly in the final two games. In particular, they were getting more out of their bench guys than they had gotten all year. From a momentum standpoint, I think the best thing would have been for them to keep playing. There is no doubt that the rest was valuable for Chauncey Billups. But, as far as momentum is concerned, I think the Pistons' rest could work against them tonight. It will be interesting to see.



I am making my final public plea before this series begins to see Tony Allen. These games are going to be close, and we're going to need someone other than Rondo defending whoever is playing the point for Detroit. Billups, Stuckey, and Hunter all provide tough matchups for Rondo. Tony Allen has been a defensive stopper for this Celtics team all season long, and Doc is going to need to get him involved. He can't sit him on the bench for three and a half quarters, and then throw him out there for the last six minutes. He needs to use him in the regular rotation for the entire series.

It will also be interesting to see how Doc handles the point guard rotation. Eddie House was implemented far too late in the last series, and gave the Cs a great lift in games 6 and 7. I hate to think of Cassell being played over House on the offensive end in this series. However, as Casten wrote in his comment yesterday, Cassell might be the Celtics' best option defensively. He is a bigger point guard, and Chauncey won't be able to bully him down on the block like he does to Rondo. Sam plays that same game, and he will be more effective at defending it. Remember, all of these Pistons' point guards are slower than Daniel Gibson, who made Cassell look foolish in the last series.

As I said, there are emotional wildcards for both teams as we head into this game. How will the Pistons play after taking a week off? How will the Celtics respond after being taken the distance by LeBron and the Cavs? Regardless of how tonight turns out, I expect this series to be fucking awesome. Just like all of the regular season meetings between these teams, all three of which had a playoff vibe to them, I expect the series to be an all-out slugfest. All the games will be close, and tensions are going to run at an all-time high. I can't wait.

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I can't figure out Craig Sager. Is he the man? Does he wear absurd looking suits because he's such a bad-ass? Is he a loser? Do the players like him? When they make fun of him, do they do it because they really don't like him or do they do it because they like him and they think he's funny? I have no idea.

Here's the best one. KG making fun of Sager after waxing the Knicks:


Baron Davis can't help laughing at Sager's outfit at halftime:


Nash wipes Amare's face with Sager's hankerchief:


Finally, hilarious Nash and Amare commercial:

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I have to work all day tommorow, but Foil in the Oven will return on Wednesday to recap the action from Game 1 and thoughts for Game 2.



It never gets old.