Blood In The Water

This man (who admitted he's been very grouchy lately) is a cold blooded killer, and it was clear last night that he will not be denied this championship. I realize that you can't change your prediction once it's been made, so I'll stick with 6 games. But, if I could go back in time, and make a new prediction after what I saw last night, I'd say get the brooms out. This thing will be over soon.



JA Adande from this morning's Daily Dime:

"He's so ornery that his daughters have renamed him "Grumpy" from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs." A Lakers staffer encountered him in the workout room before the game, normally a chance to exchange a few pleasantries, but took one read of Bryant's mood and didn't say a word. Those who spend a lot of time with him say they haven't seen him this focused for such a long stretch. The only time he's cracked a smile in front of the media the past few days came Thursday night when, ironically, he was discussing how solemn he's been.

Weep not for the isolated family members or fearful work colleagues. Feel for the Orlando Magic instead, who paid the price for Bryant's battle against the giant names of the past in a 100-75 Lakers victory in the opening game."

NBA Finals Prediction: The Unavoidable Teabag

This long layover between the conference finals and the finals has really brought me back down to Earth. If I had written this preview on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, or even Wednesday, I'd be picking the Magic. Playoff excitement will do that to you sometimes. You get swept up in one team's momentum, and it causes you to lose sight of reality, and you find yourself clinging to shreds of hope that symbolize what would make this postseason the most memorable. For me, last year, this phenomenon led to me trying to convince everyone that the New Orleans Hornets were going to make a run all the way to the NBA finals. It's fun to root for these new and exciting teams. It's like rooting for Santa Clause. This year, it seems to have manifested itself in my misplaced "belief" that the Magic had all the right kind of mojo going on right now to beat the Lakers, therefore making the Celtics look great for having taken them to 7 games in round 2. Luckily, this waiting period has calmed me, and I am now bringing you a very grounded and realistic perspective. My emotions have settled and I am thinking more clearly. That 5-day handgun waiting period law really does make a lot of sense.


Before I begin to make my prediction, I'd like to state that unlike the people at Nike and those fucks at the league office, I am thrilled that we didn't end up with a Kobe LeBron finals, because I believe the Lakers are superior to the Cavs in every way, and it would have been one of the most anti-climactic moments in sports history.


Now, you can certainly make a compelling case for the Magic:



I ripped into Dwight Howard earlier in this postseason for still needing to develop effective post moves. However, as I have watched him more and more during these playoffs (I basically never watch the Magic during the regular season if they are not playing the Celtics), I have finally arrived at an appreciation for what a dominant force he actually is. That I always thought him overrated was just a product of me not realizing exactly how athletic he was. His ability to run the court is tremendous for a big man, and he is a very dangerous player when he moves his defender out of the paint and they run pick and rolls with him. In transition, his ability to get down the court quickly and establish position leads to a lot of easy buckets and trips to the free throw line.

Rashard Lewis is a matchup nightmare for anybody. It's hard to imagine Pau Gasol defending him out on the perimeter. He and Hedo turkoglu, with their size and shooting range, give any defenders nightmares. Rafer Alston's quickness could give Derek Fisher trouble. Mikael Pietrus and Courtney Lee have been playing at an incredibly high level throughout the postseason. Marcin Gortat has done a great job of spelling Dwight.

The play of the Magic has improved steadily throughout these playoffs, and it's hard to imagine them playing at a higher level than they are right now. Were it not for two incredibly heroic LeBron James performances, they would have swept the Cavs. They've played the Lakers twice this season, and won both games.

It all seemed to make sense around this time yesterday. You can't argue with that type of momentum.




However, as I slept last night I started envisioning how this thing will actually go, and I woke up this morning feeling very centered and having no doubt in my mind that the Lakers will win this series. Here's why:

- Yes, the Magic are 2-0 against the Lakers this season. However, Jameer Nelson dominated in both of those games, and they were still very very close. Plus, I would imagine that these matchups carried much more urgency for the Magic than they did for LA.

- LeBron James absolutely tore the Magic apart. But, nobody was there to help him. I expect Kobe to do the same thing as LeBron, but there will be some key differences: A) Kobe's coach will be sure to get him the ball in favorable scoring positions B) Kobe has a more polished game, and can score down low with his back to the hoop C) Unlike LeBron, Kobe has good teammates and getting them involved makes the team play better. The statistical impact may not be as great as what we saw from LeBron, but the overall impact (I expect) will have a much more profound effect on the series.

- Do you feel like the Lakers were ever really tested in this postseason? They certainly let their guard down against a Yaoless, Tmacless, pesky Houston team. But, there was no sense of panic, no real sense of worry. That was the most un-game-7-like game 7 I've ever seen. There was never any doubt, and they really don't even seem labored at this point. Just taking care of business.

- We've all spent so much time this season talking about how difficult it is to defend Rashard Lewis (well, at least I know Celtics fans have ever since KG went down). However, in this case, it is also very fair to ask how Rashard Lewis will defend Pau Gasol, who (kill me please) is an increbly saavy and versatile scorer inside (I hate him so much). He will give Lewis fits, and he will also most likely draw some key fouls against both Lewis and Dwight.

- You can't lose sight of Lamar Odom in the Rashard Lewis discussion. The best way to defend a 6'10 tweener with range is with another 6'10 tweener with range. With the exception of KG, who could be better suited to defend Rashard Lewis than Lamar Odom?

- DJ Mbenga is 7 feet tall and can eat up fouls against Dwight.

- Trevor Ariza is a very athletic ballhawk, and I think he will do a good job defending Hedo Turkoglu (to whom he only gives up 2 inches).

- Dwight and Kobe will both spend a great deal of time at the free throw line in this series. Big advantage: Lakers. The Cavs shot free throws horribly last round. Dwight, obviously, is shaky at the line (yes, I know he shot 70% last round....call me when he does it over the course of a season).


The Prediction: Lakers in 6. I've been preparing for this since KG went down in February.

Kobe/LeBron Puppets Episode V

About as disappointing as Rocky V. But, Kobe in an apron at the grill is pretty funny.



We also had this reenactment of the Kobe jumping over a car commercial:

Kobe/LeBron Puppets, Episode IV

Better than three, not as good as the first two. Certainly not as good as Rocky IV.



"Excuse me?!"

"No I don't think I will"

Kobe and LeBron Puppets, episode 3

I'm not crazy about this one. It's funny, because I'm already halfway to laughing from the first two. But, could it stand on it's own? Certainly not. Nevertheless, I'm already a slave to these puppets, so I'll watch it several times.


LeBron saying "I don't know" is kind of funny.

The Dream Police

You can't crack under the pressure if you want to beat the Lakers. You need to execute for 48 full minutes. Kobe Bryant has been doing this, under this type of spotlight, for almost 15 years. If you allow him to, and sometimes even if you don't, he will steal your dreams away from you in the fourth quarter. The Nuggets had a clear blueprint for what they needed to do to beat this team and, for the most part, they did it. They seemed able to score at will in the paint (although they didn't go in there enough late in the game), they were more physical, Carmelo Anthony got them off to a fast start, and Chauncey Billups was hitting big shots. But, in the end, the pressure got to them, and they cracked. The Lakers will frustrate you, as they did to Kenyon Martin, who committed a costly foul on Kobe Bryant down the stretch. The Lakers will make you pay for any momentary lapse in effort or focus, as was the case when Trevor Ariza picked off Anthony Carters weak-ass attempt to inbound the ball to Chauncey Billups with under a minute left. The guy had flat out looked horrible against Carmelo in the first quarter, but, in crunch time, his confidence and focus were unwavering. That is the mark of a championship team.

The Orlando Magic grew up right before our eyes in the second round. They began as a team that could not hold a lead (game 1), got psyched out and let their frustration get the better of them (game 2), and who could not put away games in which they had the lead in the fourth quarter (games 4 and 5). However, by the time game 6 rolled around, they had been forged into a contender. Their lessons learned against the Celtics will no doubt help them in round 3. Hopefully, we can see Denver go through that same process. It should be easier, seeing as how they have a veteran who knows what it takes at the point guard spot.

After the game, George Karl said "The next 48 hours are going to be difficult". Denver needs to stay positive and focused on what it needs to change in game 2. They controlled this game most of the way, so their gameplan and their intensity do not need much tweaking. They need to watch a lot of film, and see where exactly this thing went wrong. They can still win this series, but it's all about what they are able to take away from game 1. If they let the frustration of this loss get to them, then they are as good as dead. Once Kobe smells blood in the water, you're done for.

LeBron/Kobe Puppet Commercials

A lot of people I've talked to didn't see the LeBron/Kobe puppet commercials last night because they were either flipping over to the Bs at commercials or because they were out at bars. If you're upset about the games, you probably want to punch me in the face for posting commercials with puppets in them. But, please watch. Trust me, they'll make you laugh. I've watched about 500 times this morning (like an angry child that needs to be cheered up).

The first one embedded here (the three championship rings) kills me. "Why do we live together?"

Rockets, Lakers, Celtics, Magic

Sometimes I hate the East Coast. I don't mean that in the sense that there is some East Coast conspiracy against sports west of the Mississippi. Nor is this a shot at the weather. Rather it's just a lot harder to follow sports out here. For example right now I'm exhausted after staying up for Rockets/Lakers. However, at least I was rewarded. To review:

- Kobe Bryant was sublime, dropping 40 on Houston. He hit some incredibly well defended shots, threw the ball of the backboard to himself at one point and lit the fuse that got Ron Artest ejected. Count me in the long list of people that can't stand Kobe but respect his game. I hate the MJ comparison as much as the next guy but last night Kobe channeled the whole "I'm going to dominate because you said this guy or guys could stop me."

- Speaking of Artest. I've been fascinated with him since his days at St. John's. Based on interviews I've seen and read I'd argue that he's far more complex than people realize. However, when Artest loses it on the court it's downright frightening. At one point he stormed towards Kobe and later made a throat slashing gesture. Throughout the tirade he appeared to be in kill mode. To be fair who wouldn't be upset after earning an offensive foul while the master of smug (Kobe) got a way with an elbow in the vicinity of the throat? And it pains me to give Kobe credit but he played it perfectly. There's nothing worse than a guy refusing to engage in trash talk. That's exactly what Kobe did as he walked away with his arms up and a "This guy is crazy" look on his face. The whole incident made me wish it was a Rucker Park game. Alas.

- This hasn't come up before but I'm a big fan of the Argentinians. Granted Derek Fisher should not be able to knock down Luis Scola under any circumstances. But I'm still a big Scola fan. He's one of those international players that Tommy Heinsohn begrudgingly respects. On top of that Scola just looks like a great teammate. However, if he had lost his cool, and at one point I thought it could happen, and gone after Sasha Vujacic NBA fans everywhere would have rejoiced. How the Spurs let Scola go continues to baffle me.

- In a night full of incidents that will definitely keep Stu Jackson busy - Eddie House's elbow (was it inadvertant?), Rafer Alston's slap, Kobe's elbow and Artest's tirade - Fisher's forearm/elbow was by far the most premeditated and malicious of the bunch.

- There are still times where the game is too fast for Yao Ming. And he did get in foul trouble last night. However, Rockets fans must be in the "He's all growns up" stage right now. It's been fascinating to watch the growth in Yao's game and demeanor. Even his fire from the bench was impressive.

I'll close with a few random thoughts on the Celtics:

- It's not out of the realm of possibility that Eddie House could have signed with another team before 2008, bounced around the league a few more years and then left the Association before anyone got to see the best he had to offer. Thankfully that didn't happen. Last night he was on fire - 31 points, 11-14 from the field, 4-4 from deep, 5-6 from the line, and 10 times as many points as the Truth. House is definitely annoying other players and their fans, which only means he's bringing something to the table.

- Mark it down. Anthony Johnson will be involved in some sort of stand off/double technical/flagrant foul situation before this series is over.

- NBA players know the repercussions for any sort of non-basketball related aggression on the court. And yet they continue to lose their cool. It's a testament to how intense these games get.

Day 2

Don't say I didn't warn you about Houston.


On deck for today:





Jazz at Lakers, 3:00

True Blue Jazz: Yeah, so most people seem to have no hope in the Jazz. Be you a Lakers fan hoping for a sweep, a "famous" person... aka, a mainstream media guy... predicting the Lakers in 5 or 6 or a Jazz fan hoping the Jazz don't get totally embarrassed, you'd have to say/admit things don't look good for the Jazz. They've been struggling for the last bit, both at home and on the road (though that's a season-long issue). Injuries come and go, tensions may be rising, the coach may be giving up (or just trying to goad the team), the players may be packing for the off-season (and a new home?), etc. That, though, is what it is. And it'll all be dealt with at some point. Right now though, the main thing ahead is the first round playoff series with the Lakers.




Forum Blue and Gold: The Lakers have mismatches all over the place to exploit in this series. If they are smart, they should score plenty.

That starts inside in the paint. Mehmet Okur cannot keep Andrew Bynum off the low block or alter his shot in close, and Pau Gasol has a huge size advantage inside. We saw this some in the last regular season meeting between these two. When isolated, Boozer (especially a hobbled Boozer) was virtually helpless on Gasol. There are members of the Jazz — AK-47 — that love to come from the weak-side and block shots — Gasol and Bynum need to be aware and be ready to give up the ball.

The other big problem for the Jazz is at the two — Ronnie Brewer cannot slow Kobe Bryant. In the first two games this season against the Jazz, he averaged 38 points a game. Again, the Jazz can do things to bring help, but that leaves other players open if the Lakers share the ball.


Roomofzen Note: The Lakers are your 2009 NBA champions. Get the broom out.








76ers at Magic, 5:00


Liberty Ballers: We all know the Magic are a thousand times better on paper. We all know they have Dwight Howard. And we all know what the Sixers need to do to win. (3-point differential, defensive rebounding and free throws.) So, instead of polluting your minds with more useless numbers and strategies, I'm simply going to tell you in a couple sentences how excited I am, and leave you with a few YouTube clips to get you pumped!

How excited am I? As excited as I've ever been to watch a basketball game. Need I say more? On the flip side, I'm as nervous as a 6-year old school boy about to ask his secret crush if she wants to share a bag of cheddar fries. I think the game will go one of two ways -- good or bad -- there's no in between.

Don't ask me why I have faith in this 41-win Sixers team who has disappointed me time after time this season, because I won't have an answer. There's just something a special about this group of guys, and the sky's the limit.



Third Quarter Collapse: The book on the Orlando Magic this season is that they're a one-dimensional, three-point shooting team that struggles to win when their threes aren't falling: In a post called "Die By It," Depressed Fan points out that Orlando shoots 40.5% from three-point range in its wins and 31.5% in its losses. While I don't believe their fortunes are inextricably tied to the three-point shot, it is indeed an important part of their offense, to say the least.

And it will be even more important in their first-round playoff series against the Philadelphia 76ers. Orlando's biggest advantage over Philadelphia is its ability to bomb away from beyond the arc. In the regular season, Orlando averaged 10 made treys per game, while Philly averaged just 4. If those figures hold up in the postseason, the Sixers will have to make up for an 18-point deficit from the perimeter alone. That's a tall order, especially against Orlando's elite defense.



Roomofzen Note: Goddamit! The Celtics were supposed to get Philly. How did this all go so wrong?









Heat at Hawks


Peninsula is Mightier: "The Heat's interior defenders will need to be wary of the Hawks tendency of over-driving. They get to the foul line a fair amount (25.4 free throws/gm during the regular season), but shot only 73% as a team, good for 28th (3rd worse) in the NBA.

Staying on the subject, should the Hawks get into foul trouble, expect coach Mike Woodson to go to his bench quickly. Apparently, he has a deep fear of his players fouling out and will go to great lengths to avoid that at all costs.

The Hawks big guys (Al Horford and Josh Smith) can get into foul trouble, and the primary backup for them is Zaza Pachulia, who isn't as good a defender as his aforementioned teammates. Attacking the rim and getting to the foul line should be a key point on the Heat's dry-erase board at practice.

Dwyane Wade has never lost a 1st round series when healthy, and he is very healthy. I'm just sayin..."


Peachtree Hoops: Outside of Bibby and Marvin, the Hawks have a tendency to lock in on shooting. Whether it is methodical penetration by Joe or under control back down by Al or "I might as well be blind folded" drive by Josh or Zaza, the Hawks tend to get tunnel vision. Sometimes this is ok. It works for the Hawks. They can draw fouls. They can out athlete a lot of guys at the end. Of course, I wish there was more ball movement, more cutting to the basket, but that is not just going to start happening at this point in the season.

Which means the Dwayne Wade help block could come to the front and center of this series. Rarely is someone that athletic, that quick, also that good at blocking shots. He can slip down off his man in half a step. Hawks players cannot feel satisfied with simply beating their man. Dwayne Wade will be lurking.


Roomofzen Note: I'll be rooting for Miami. I picked them to win and the more Dwayne Wade I can see, the better. Beasley, don't make me look bad!






Hornets at Nuggets, 10:30


Hornets 24/7: "First, expect some cross matching in the backcourts as both teams prefer to keep their best defender on the opposing team's point guard. Dahntay Jones will open defensively on Chris Paul, while Billups slips over to handle Rasual Butler. Vice versa, Rasual Butler will open defensively on Billups, with Paul taking Dahntay.................................................One interesting thing to note is that Chauncey Billups is perfectly in Rasual Butler's wheelhouse defensively, being rather slow and easy to defend on the drive because of Butler's length. In four games this season against the Hornets, Butler has held Billups to 35% shooting from the field and 32% shooting from deep while Billups has only earned .5 free throws more per game due to the defensive pressure. Billups has also only managed 4.8 assists per game. I expect more of the same as Butler sticks to him like glue."


Pickaxe and Roll: Chris Paul is their team. Denver took to trapping him off screens and it has worked beautifully so far. Paul averages just 3 turnovers a game, but against the Nuggets he's averaged 5.3 turnovers a game and that's his highest rate of slip ups against any team. Paul has averaged 20.8 points and 11 assists against the Nuggets this season. He shoots 81% from the foul line and likes to get there any way he can. Paul will work the refs as much as he can and has a knack for being able to initiate contact and draw calls. If Denver can corral Paul in this series the Nuggets can win it in 5 games. If Paul has his way the Hornets will be almost impossible to beat.


Roomofzen Note: Who cares who wins, I just want it to go as long as possible.


I'll computerless until Tuesday, but will be in the Garden tomorrow night. Enjoy the games everyone.

Foil in The Oven Returns: Playoff Predictions

"I don't need your fucking sympathy, man. I need my fucking johnson"

--The Dude

I woke up this morning being 26 years old for the first time. That, in itself, is a lot to deal with. By the time we hit ten o'clock, I was trying to somehow make sense of the announcement that not only was Kevin Garnett not playing in round 1 of the playoffs, but he was most likely out for the entire postseason. I had resigned myself to the fact that he just needed rest. I didn't see this coming. Then, around 3:00, the news comes that John Madden is retiring from broadcoasting. I, personally, would have appreciated a little notice before his last game. By 5 o'clock tonight, Danny Ainge had suffered a heart attack. The guy is in great shape. And, he's only 50. I'm now more than halfway there. Needless to say, this was a very complicated day. A lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what have yous. Fortunately, we've been adhering to a pretty strict drug regiment here to keep our minds, you know, limber.


I can't speak fully to the KG injury right now. All I can really say is that I have never been anywhere near this deflated by an sports injury. If there are any Patriots fans out there (so pretty much 3/4 of our readers), please leave some comments about how this stacks up against the Brady injury.

The one thing I was finally able to arrive at that gave me the strength to push on with my day and pump out these predictions was this:

at least this didn't happen last year.

Really, can you imagine how devastating this would have been last year? It's not much, but for now it's all I've got.

So, let's not wait any longer. Here are the picks (the West picks are without comment because I certainly don't watch enough of the West to say anything meaningful).




ROUND 1

EAST

Cleveland vs. Detroit:

The Pistons gave up on this season the minute they sent Chauncey Billups to Denver. They were, of course, open to the possibility of catching lightning in a bottle with AI, but more than anything this move was about Joe Dumars conceding that his group was no longer good enough to make it out of the East. As things currently stand, with a record below .500 and AI literally paying no dividends on the court (I hope this ungraceful exit is not the last we see of him), the question now becomes not who will win this series, but what type of series it will be.

The Pistons have played the Cavs tough this season. Rasheed Wallace has gone on the record as saying that he expects his team to re-gain their swagger once the post-season begins. I do believe in Detroit’s veteran leadership. I believe in the power of their home crowd and in their ability on defense to make LeBron James have to beat them all on his own. However, I also believe I’ve seen him do that before. Since then, he’s gotten better and Detroit has gotten worse.

The pick: Cleveland in 6.





Boston vs. Chicago:

This Bulls team is not the matchup I wanted for round 1. They really improved themselves at the trade deadline, and they've had the look over the past month of a team that could shake up the post-season. All that being said, they have no shot here. If they were a legitimate threat, they would have beaten Toronto last night (the news about KG wasn't out yet, they had something real to play for) at home. The absence of Luol Deng means big production for Paul Pierce. Kendrick Perkins will swallow Joakim Noah. Derrick Rose had a great season, but Rajon Rondo has blossomed into one of the league's premiere point guards. The Celtics have the advantage in every matchup.

The pick: Boston in 6






Orlando vs. Philadelphia:

There is no way Philly takes this series. They have no answer for Dwight Howard and don't have anybody that can shoot, which should translate to a lot of easy buckets in transition off of missed shots for the Magic. The Sixers are also horrendous in the half court, and Orlando’s ball movement should lead to a lot of good looks both on the interior and from long range.

I wanted to actually analyze the matchup here, but all I really needed to do was point out that the Celtics beat Philly on Tuesday night without KG or Ray Allen, and that it took overtime for the Sixers to knock off Cleveland’s athletic training staff last night.

The Pick: Orlando in 5







Hawks vs. Heat:

These should be great games to watch, regardless of the score is when you flip to them. It’s hard not to get excited about a team as athletic as the Hawks facing off against Dwayne Wade. I really want to take Miami here. I think that D-Wade has been just as spectacular as LeBron this season. I’m also excited to see how Michael Beasley performs in his first playoff series. If he is able to elevate his level of play, he could give his team the edge. Miami has really impressed me over the second half of the season. However, while most of the national media has been ignoring the Hawks, they have been playing incredibly consistent basketball. It’s hard not to give Atlanta the edge when you weigh the matchups. The Wade/Johnson matchup will be great to see, and I will be interested to see how much Miami gets out of Jermaine O'Neal. This is hands down the toughest one to pick, so I’m going with my gut:

Even though it doesn’t make sense: Heat in 6.







ROUND 1
WEST (ABRIDGED):

Lakers over Jazz in 4:

Nuggets over Hornets in 7: Note: I don't want to miss one minute of this series.

Houston over Portland in 6:- I know people are saying "nobody wants to catch Portland right now", but I think Ron Artest provides Houston with the mentality they need to advance to round 2.

San Antonio over Dallas in 6:







ROUND 2: EAST

Cleveland over Miami:

Regardless of whether they see Atlanta or Miami, I wouldn't be surprised to see Cleveland coast in round 2. Detroit is a tougher matchup.

The pick: Cavs in 5.





Boston over Orlando:

I'm not sold on Orlando, and there is nothing they can do against Philadelphia that will convince me otherwise. I can't help but wonder if the people who wrote them in as championship contenders last month have been paying any attention at all to what has been happening this month. They were certainly impressive in March (12-2), but they have come crashing back down to Earth in April (4-5 this month, including losses to Toronto, New York, New jersey, and an 18 point loss to the Bucks).

On March 25th, the Magic defeated Boston by 2, and moved the Celtics down to third place in the East. This was the last game in which Kevin Garnett was able to play (and his role was very limited). Leon Powe, Tony Allen, and Brian Scalabrine were all out as well. How could Orlando not have held on to that 2 seed? It's inexplicable. They are not contenders.

Kendrick Perkins will be the key to Boston's success in this series, as he is the NBA's premier Dwight Howard stopper. Throw in the fact that there are serious questions about the health of Hedo Turkoglu and Rashard Lewis, Boston is tough at home, and that there isn't anybody on the Magic capable of defending Paul Pierce, and this all adds up to a victory for the Cs.

The pick: Celtics in 7







WEST ROUND 2 (Abridged)


Lakers over Rockets in 5:

Spurs over Nuggets in 6:








Eastern Conference Finals:

Cavaliers over Celtics: There are many out there who say that the Cavs win this series even if it involves a healthy KG. I'm not one of those people. I think the Cavs are flawed, and I've felt all season long like the Celtics were the superior team. The two games the Cavs took from Boston this year were, in my opinion, two of the most uncharacteristically bad performances the Celtics turned in all season. Easter Sunday's performance was the worst (Pierce 4-17, totally flat performance, shooting 35% as a team). The statistics in these performances indicate that the Celtics would have lost to most NBA teams on these days. When they play at a level more aligned with their season averages, they have beaten Cleveland twice, including once with Kevin Garnett out.


So, just to clarify, if the Celtics were coming into this series with Kevin Garnett healthy, they would win. They simply have too much front line depth (KG, Perk, Big Baby, Leon, Mikki Moore) for Cleveland to handle.

But, we're dealing with reality here, and the reality is that I can't pick the Celtics to win this series. On paper, the Cavs seem harmless. Mo Williams? really? That's the other big gun? Delonte West? Don't try that shit with me. I'm well aware of what he can and can't do. When you look at the roster, and then you see how much LeBron is able to raise the level at which all of these guys play, you can't help but cast your MVP vote for anybody else. And, believe me, I'd like to.

The pick: Cleveland in 6





Western Conference Finals (abridged):

Lakers over Spurs in 5.








NBA Finals:

Lakers over Cavs in 5.

This is the Lakers' year, and nothing LeBron James does can change that. The Cavs will be totally outmatched in this series. There is no way they can compete with a front line of Andrew Bynum, Pau Gasol, and Lamar Odom. Number 24 is pretty good too. Even though he hasn't averaged so few points per game since 2004, I've never been more in awe of him.

Guatemala and Jerseys

A few weeks back I headed down to Guatemala. Whenever I leave the country I always have several goals:

1. Don't get arrested.

2. Eat some local cuisine. Unhealthy in a caloric sense is a plus. Of course any type of Montezuma's Revenge scenario is not.

3. Do something that would be hard/impossible to experience in New England.

4. Keep track of NBA jerseys.

In the words of Will Ferrell, "I think I did alright." (Sadly I spent the last 20 minutes trying to find the classic "Delco Cat Toys" skit that I just referenced. It's nowhere to be found. If you haven't seen it I'm deeply sorry.) Ultimately goal #4 is the only one that really has any relevance right now. So let's get right down to the rankings.

Honorable mention: Though this is really about NBA jerseys I did get a kick out of a number of random t-shirts. In the end the Springfield YMCA basketball t-shirt stood above the rest. It's at least slightly odd to come across in a village of people mainly of Mayan descent.

5. Kobe Bryant's #24 home jersey: As a Celtics fan one would expect this would grab the final spot. First of all it's Kobe. And second of all I despise his move away from #8 to #24. But the owner of said jersey flew by me at a high speed on a motorcycle. This deserves respect for a couple of reasons:

- The roads in Guatemala are treacherous. Think of the worst frost heave hit road you've come across and you're on the right track.

- I found little to no evidence of road rules. Yes, I saw a few pick up trucks pulled over with police standing by with intimidating guns. In fact we were pulled over at one point so the police could check us out. However, pedestrians have no rights, everyone (sugarcane trucks included, which are outrageously long and in a hurry) passes with reckless abandon, and though there were some posted speed limits, the government/police seem to rely on numerous speed bumps instead. Add it all up and it's not that easy to drive around. Of course the motorcycle only increases the degree of difficulty.

Having said all that it's still Kobe. So he's last, but I thought about it.

4. Jason Kidd. Team unknown: I was a passenger in a yellow school bus, the kind you see on American streets everyday, that was in the process of dangerously passing another yellow school bus. As this happened I saw several old women hacking branches with machetes, three policemen brandishing guns by a pickup truck they pulled over, and a random dude in a J-Kidd jersey. It was too much to take in at once and I blanked on the team. Sadly it was definitely not a cleverly made volleyball throwback style jersey created on the heels of completely unfounded, borderline irresponsible rumors.

3. KG's home Timberwolves jersey: This gains points because KG is involved. Yet it's lower on the list because the owner lives in Texas most of the time. I think that matters. Meanwhile, though this has absolutely no relevance, I am intrigued by KG's new commercial.

2. Vince Carter's purple Raptors jersey: It's important that you disregard everything I previously wrote about Kobe. Here goes. I actually like Vince Carter, mainly because nearly everyone despises him. It's not that I admire everything about his game, his last days in Toronto or his legacy. And I understand the criticism. Most of it seems to revolve around his unwillingness to go to the rim, a tendency to get franchise player money and not deserve it and a collective decision that he wasted his talent. It just seems like animosity towards a player gets to a certain point where everybody makes the same critiques time after time and he becomes underrated. Put it this way. There are some guys on this list stealing money and Carter is by no means the biggest offender. Bonus points because the owner was seven years old and was carrying a cinder block on his shoulder. Awesome.

1. Jermaine O'Neal's blue Pacers jersey: I always enjoyed O'Neal's good Indy teams. And as a fan of the NBA I'm still a little bummed out that core did not reach its natural end. Unless of course you think Ron Artest charging into the stands with Stephen Jackson and the subsequent suspensions/trades was its natural end. As a side note if I'd seen a Ron Artest jersey it would have been #1 on the list and out of respect I would have ranked the next jersey #3. But that almost goes without saying.

Honoring the Diesel: A Look Back on All-Star Weekend 2009

Before we begin, the greatest of all the Shaq youtube videos. Trash talking to Vlade Divac set to the Cheers theme song:





Whenever I've watched the Suns play this season, I've forgotten who number 32 is. I know he's out there. He's too big to ignore. I know that he is significant, but at this point I tend to think of him more as the figure that marked a cataclysmic identity shift in his team (which now has no identity). It's a strange feeling, because there are very few players that I have seen in my lifetime that I respect as much as I respect him. I don't know if people will realize how significant he was, both on and off the court, until after he has retired.

The NBA has changed drastically over the past couple of years, as an influx of young and talented superstars have taken the torch and led the league into a new and promising era. As we headed towards All-Star Weekend 2009, I was looking forward to seeing these superstars put their talents on display. The addition of Shaquille O'Neal to the Western Conference team was sort of an afterthought. The idea that this might be the final All-Star appearance for one of the game's all time greats never even entered my realm of thought. However, I could not be happier with the way that things turned out. I will always remember All Star Weekend 2009 as the opportunity for all of us to witness one of the last great moments of one of the league's greatest icons. That, more than anything, made this All Star game a special one for me.

I enjoyed Sunday night's 27 point blowout even more than I enjoyed last year's game (which is saying a lot). It wasn't close, and yet it was incredibly fun to watch. The first half was intense, hard fought, and featured some of the toughest defense I can ever remember seeing in an All-Star game. I felt very satisfied at halftime, particularly with Paul Pierce leading all scorers. The second half, which was totally different, and tickled my fancy in a totally different way. It was fun. It was a show, which is really what All-Star games are all about. We got to see things that we would never see in a regular season game, and Shaq was a big part of that. As soon as he started taking the ball out on the perimeter, and bringing Dwight Howard out there with him, the mood of the game totally shifted and it was awesome. The Diesel was also able to turn back the clock and turn in some vintage Shaq dominance in the low post against the undersized Eastern Conference reserves.

Play of the night, hands down. The big Shaqtus goes through Dwight's legs and executes a nice give and go with Chris Paul:



Shaq up top, Chris Paul down in the paint.....this is what made Sunday night so great.

I started to get emotional on Sunday night when Shaq performed his dance with the Jabbawockeez during introductions. I realize how ridiculous that sounds......I really do......but that was the moment when it suddenly hit me that I was probably never going to see him on this stage again. He was the face of the NBA for a long time. He was the NBA in the same way that Jordan was the NBA before him and Kobe and LeBron are the NBA now, and I think he did it better than any of the others. On the court, he measures up in every way: statistically he is one of the top ten players of all time. Off the court, his humor and charismatic personality have made him more accessible than any player in history. LeBron and MJ are great in commercials, but nobody can entertain us spontaneously in press conferences and interviews like Shaq. He's a natural performer. Usually, when players dance, I cringe. But, how could you not love this? I could have watched it for hours:



It's hilarious. And, whether or not it was rehearsed, nobody else could have pulled it off.

So that was All-Star Weekend for me, all about Shaquille O'Neal. I don't think he should have won the MVP, but he was also the reason I went to bed feeling completely entertained and excited about the 27 point blowout I had just witnessed, so I guess that's pretty valuable.


Before I move on to the rest of the weekend, let me address a few questions that will naturally rise in opposition to this post:

1) Was the Shaq-Kobe co-MVP artificially created by the NBA?

--Most likely. Kobe was the MVP of that game. The NBA started hyping up the Bryant-O'Neal reunion as soon as it was announced that Shaq would be part of the game. I find it hard to believe that the two of them tied in voting. Now, the NBA could not have set this ahead of time. But, they certainly could have encouraged Phil Jackson to get Shaq heavily involved. This decision was definitely made before the fan votes were all in.


2) Should Shaq have even been an all-star?

--Obviously not if you are basing the answer strictly on what he has done in '08-'09. He plays very limited minutes on an average team, and does not even play on back to back nights. However, the man is one of the great icons ever to play in this league and I totally support the decision to let him participate in All-Star weekend one final time (most likely). The fact that the game was in Phoenix makes it a no-brainer. Magic Johnson was voted a starter in the 1992 game (and was the MVP of that game), and he was retired!


3) Was that lovefest between Shaq and Kobe real, and will they end up together before O'Neal retires?

--Probably not. Kobe has to smile and go along with whatever the league asks. His rare abilities have allowed him to move back into the good graces of NBA fans over the past few seasons, but he really has no choice but to remain warm and fuzzy. However, you'd better believe that he's just as likely to take up residence in Eagle, Colorado as he is to willingly team up with Shaq again.

The way Shaq was acting was much more puzzling to me. He does not like Kobe. It was not long ago that we were watching him on stage freestyle rapping about how Kobe is nothing without him and asking Kobe how his ass tastes. But, this weekend, he seemed almost desperate to convince the public that there is no issue between the two of them. I understand that he might be trying, by going through the court of public opinion, to convince the Lakers that they should bring him in for their title run. But, the odds of that happening are very slim, and I don't think it's worth it for him to start changing the story now. We are all convinced that Kobe was the untrustworthy, selfish scumbag in that situation. Shaq was just the funny, loveable big man. We all collectively cheered when the Heat defeated the Lakers on Christmas Day, and Shaq won his championship sans-Kobe. We cheered because we Kobe was the culprit. That was the story. Why would Shaq want to change that?

So no, that was not genuine. In fact, I would go as far as to say that they were asked to play around before the game (when we saw Kobe playfully defending Shaq out at the three point line).

It was all part of the league's marketing plan. Well, I just wrote an entire post about Shaq and Kobe. Well done NBA.


As for the rest of the weekend, I have some thoughts:

- Kevin Durant should have been an All-Star, and he proved it on Friday night. Early in the night, I thought we were going to see a rare rookie win. But then, Durant elevated his game to another level...an all-star level.

- The Skills Competition has to go. Every year I get amped up for the Saturday night festivities, and every year I end up tuning this crap out about half way through. It lacks the suspense of the three point contest and the excitement of the slam dunk contest. Guys throwing balls through hoops and running around cones....it just doesn't translate well to television. Luckily, we have a solution........

- HORSE was a huge success, and I think it is just what we need to fill the first Saturday night slot. Guys shooting long range, from the stands, with their backs to the basket, it's all exciting. It belongs inside the arena, and I think that moving it to a primetime spot will spawn more planning and creativity in the shots.

- As I've grown older I've learned that the dunk contest, because of how subjective it is, is something that you just have to enjoy regardless of the result. A few years ago, I got all worked up because I felt like Nate Robinson did not deserve to beat out Andre Iguodala. This year, I felt that Robinson was totally deserving of his victory. That being said, I have some thoughts on it:

The first dunk of the night, JR Smith's double bounce, should have gotten higher scores. That looked very difficult to time up. Smith's second dunk (with Sonny Weems) was lame and required many attempts, so I don't feel bad that he didn't advance.


Like many people in Boston, I was rooting hard for Rudy Fernandez to fail in successfully completing his dunk with Pau the llama Gasol. That being said, it was an impressive dunk. If he had nailed it on the first try (maybe if Gasol wasn't being an asshole and trying to throw it behind his back), I think it would have been a 50.

Of all the night's dunks, this one (the first, off the side of the backboard) impressed me more than any others:



Off the side of the backboard has been done before....but look at that extension on the arm. Nobody else could have not only reeled that ball in, but thrown it down so hard. The guy is a physical freak.


I've heard a lot of people take issue with Howard attempting the leap from the free throw line as his final dunk, because it "doesn't look that great when you're 6'11". Fair enough. But, just remember, he weighs 265 pounds. And, most 7 footers in the league have little to no leaping ability. Imagine yourself standing at the foul line shooting a free throw....now imagine you weigh 265 pounds and you're jumping from there...what are the odds you're going to make it to the rim? Not very good. I'd need a rocket pack.

But, Dwight stepped over the line and I have no problem with the outcome. I thought both finalists put on a great show. But, overall it was not as exciting as last year and it certainly will not be as exciting as next year.

Chad Ford Breaks Down This Summer's Free Agents

Chad Ford breaks down the 2009 free agent class that has been flying under the radar with 2010 being the summer of LeBron. The Pistons will be about 40 million under the cap this summer and it will be interesting to see how much they're willing to spend. There are certainly some guys that could help them on this list, but I'd have to believe all teams that are in a position to spend big may want to play it conservative so as to give themselves a chance at the King.......sucks to be a free agent in 09.

Anyways, he breaks it down by unrestricted, restricted, and early termination/player option (but in reverse order).

Some names that stick out:

Chris Wilcox: Has been grinding away in relative anonymity, but impresses me every time I see him. Super athletic and effective both ends.

Ben Gordon: Would probably like to go to a team that allows it's leading scorers to start games.

Lamar Odom: Is just to good to be riding the pine for the Lakers. I'm not taking issue with Phil Jackson, but there are a lot of teams out there that would love to have this guy in their starting rotation. Obviously inconsistency and being sent to the bench in a contract year will cost him a lot of money.

Ron Artest: I would love it if the Pistons signed him. That would be the greatest storyline of the year. Not only would his style of play fit that city to a tee, but him playing 41 games a night in the Palace of Auburn Hills would be priceless. This has to happen.

Shawn Marion: It's unfortunate that injuries, questions about his motivation, and concerns about the fact that team success does not appear to be a high priority for him have all overshadowed his versatility and defensive brilliance over the past few seasons. Nevertheless, he will get paid. This is the kind of player teams want.

Sheed: As Chad said, it's unlikely that Sheed will be seeing top tier money. However, don't underestimate the impact he could have with a fresh start.

The Answer: AI can still put up points and assists with the best of them (see last night against the Warriors). But, the explosion that he has lost through the years makes it harder to look past his turnovers, low field goal percentage, and defensive shortcomings. He's still exciting, but the days of him taking the 76ers on his back and willing them to victory seem like a distant memory at this point.

Leon Powe and Glen Davis: Both are restricted, and I hope that both stay in green. Powe's not going anywhere. I can't imagine Danny Ainge and Doc Rivers would let Leon get away. I hope Big Baby will stay, but it's hard to know. If he keeps playing at a high level this season, somebody might be willing to overpay, and I can't imagine the Celtics would match if it's too much.

Charlie Villanueva: I am a UCONN fan, and I still don't know what the hype is all about. I've been hearing great things for almost a decade. All I see a guy that plays flat every night, is lazy on defense, and has no eyebrows. But, somebody will make him a big offer I'm sure.

The most intriguing names come from the list of players who have early termination options. That is where you can find Kobe Bryant, Carlos Boozer, Mehmet Okur, Hedo Turkoglu, Eddy Curry, Al Harrington, and Jermaine O'Neal. Obviously, the plausibility of these guys leaving varies greatly. Kobe's not going anywhere (what a difference a year makes), Eddy Curry is almost certainly gone, Jamal Crawford has big money in New York but is playing well enough to possibly land in a more stable environment, and we'll have to wait and see with the rest.

Mike Tyson's Punchout and National Basketball Teams

You could make the argument that this whole exercise is pointless because boxing is an Olympic sport and there is no reason to devote a post to whether or not video game boxers could make real life basketball teams. Of course if you did make that argument I would counter by calling you an idiot. So hat tip to this website for the pictures in the post and on to the analysis.

Glass Joe – France: At age 38 and 110 pounds we should immediately rule him out. But that wouldn’t make for much of a post. Instead I’ll give you three reasons Glass Joe wouldn’t make the cut.

3. One of Glass Joe’s favorite sayings, “Make it quick…I want to retire” would only strengthen a certain French stereotype. For the record Ronny Turiaf mocks said stereotype.

2. In Jack McCallum’s phenomenal Seven Seconds or Less: My Season on the Bench with the Runnin’ and Gunnin’ Phoenix Suns Boris Diaw famously said, “I do not date American women. I have them.” There’s no way he’s hanging out with the least confident, worst wingman ever.

1. If Vince Carter did this to Frederick Weiss what would LeBron James do to Glass Joe?

Von Kaiser – Germany: Disregard the fact that Von Kaiser is 42 and a complete push over. The bigger concern is that he frequently talks about his military background. I'm going to make a bit of an intellectual leap here and assume that Von Kaiser would aggressively push a pro German agenda. As a result he would not be happy with Chris Kaman joining the squad. This would create huge issues and destroy the chemistry Kaman enjoyed so much upon his arrival. Although we all can agree that Von Kaiser automatically gets a spot if he convinces the entire team to grow ridiculous mustaches.

Piston Honda – Japan: At age 28 he’s in his prime. However, despite a hulking frame, at 174 pounds Honda weighs significantly less than you would think. There’s no way he has the quickness or skills to play the 2 and there’s a great chance he’d get pushed around at the 4, which is most likely his natural position. For what it’s worth I feel his pain. I was a back to the basket center that played rooted to the floor and checked in at just over 6 feet. Bad combination. Still with their current ranking (32nd in the world) the Japanese might be more inclined to take a shot. Perhaps Piston Honda could tire out opposing 4s by sprinting up and down the court. That was always Bill Russell's approach as an undersized 5.

Don Flamenco – Spain: Flamenco’s youth might help his cause with some countries, but not Spain where Ricky Rubio and Rudy Fernandez lead a talented group of young players that complement the more experienced Spanish members currently in their primes. Strangely the biggest issue might not even be basketball related. There’s a strong chance that some of the Spaniards would not tolerate Flamenco’s constant plea, “People like my hair. Don’t mess my hair.”

King Hippo - Hippo Island: Before you rule him out for his surely epic weight (exact figure unknown) remember how big Sofoklis Schortsanitis is. The bigger issue is whether or not Hippo Island constitutes a sovereign nation that is recognized by the United Nations and the International Olympic Committee. If it is, King Hippo will play if he wants to and there’s nothing you can do about it. It's good to be king. Furthermore, though his mobility is atrocious, how many basketball players are there on Hippo Island? Chances are the team couldn’t turn him away, despite his weaknesses.

Great Tiger - India: So far Glass Joe and Don Flamenco were emphatic rejections. Von Kaiser's inclusion depended entirely on whether or not he could get the Germans to all grow mustaches. Meanwhile, Piston Honda and King Hippo were probably in, but nobody felt all that good about their inclusion. However, the Great Tiger is an entirely different case. True India (currently ranked 46th in the world) is the most desperate team we have encountered thus far, not counting the Hippo Island squad, which may or may not exist. And as I considered him two glaring issues jumped out at me:

1. Much like Piston Honda, Great Tiger tips his punches big time, as the shining jewel precedes any jab. It's not out of the realm of possibility that he would telegraph his passes as well and be a turnover machine.

2. There's a massive chance that FIBA and the IOC would ban Great Tiger's teleportation method. And to be honest that's what made him so appealing in the first place.

So here's the plan. India would need to qualify for the Olympics without Great Tiger playing. With a population somewhere around 1,147,995,898 people this is doable if it is an agreed upon goal. Meanwhile, Great Tiger would practice with the team in secret and join the roster at the last minute. I'm pretty sure there is nothing in the current rule books against teleportation, because why would there be? Boom Great Tiger shows up and stuns opponents with his teleportation, leading India to a medal in the process.

Bald Bull - Turkey: During Team USA's tune up against Turkey a couple of things came to light:

1. Turkey's new coach was putting an end to established Turkish players negotiating late arrivals to camp. The idea was that everyone has to be on the same page. At 2 pounds shy of 3 bills Bald Bull could easily be the heavy and pressure his peers into making the full commitment.

2. At one point Kobe Bryant bounced a pass off the floor for an ally oop to Carmelo Anthony. That's downright embarrassing. Yet it was only possible because the Turkish players gave up on the play. Of the 5 on the floor only one player was remotely close and he was furious at his teammates. Once again if Bald Bull is running the court, and despite his size you know he will, everyone else will fall in line.

But there's more. As I mentioned Bald Bull will run the floor. That's a given due to his favorite move - the Bull Charge. Additionally I could see him taking the ball and driving strong to the hoop. There would only be two ways to stop him - punch him in the stomach or take a charge. The former is illegal and the latter takes a lot of courage. Finally, I dare you to try a bounce pass ally oop or any other chicanery against a team that features Bald Bull.

Soda Popinski - USSR: Let's get it out there on the table. Soda Popinski is an alcoholic. He drinks between rounds and his drivers license was revoked. Are we going to split hairs? So from that stand point his participation would be in doubt. And then there's the whole dilemma of what exactly Popinski's nationality is. It's hard to say. One of the underrated aspects of the old USSR was how it created a Soviet identity that was not synonymous with a Russian identity. Still I'm going with my gut on this one and assuming that Popinski was not born in one of the satellite countries. In the end I see David Blatt (Russian coach) saying thanks but no thanks and passing on Popinski. It's fine if Andrei Kirilenko roams on defense. That's part of the Russian scheme. But Popinski would be a completely liability and the system would break down. Think Zach Randolph with the '07 Trail Blazers. That's actually a decent comparison because Popinski obviously loves strip clubs too.

Mr. Sandman - USA (Philadelphia): Ultimately Mr. Sandman has several issues standing in his way.

1. What is his real name? I can't imagine the US issuing a passport to a someone under the following scenario:

First Name: Mr.
Last Name: Sandman

And even if he got that American passport officials in the host country would be less than impressed.

2. He's from the USA, which pulls entirely from the NBA. On top of that the American squad is currently heavy on guards and wings. So Mr. Sandman would be up against the same thing Tyson Chandler was when Jerry Colangelo chose Tayshaun Prince to wear the red, white, and blue.

3. You know he's a back to the basket, low post kind of player. International basketball is not conducive to that style of play.

Still given his size, toughness, and lack of character issues compared to the other Americans in Mike Tyson's Punch Out (more on this later) Mr. Sandman has the best chance of making the squad.

Super Macho Man - USA (Hollywood): Even though he just entered his prime Super Macho Man looks about 27 going on 40. My guess is that in addition to boxing he's a big time body builder. I bet he's spent plenty of time in the sun pumping iron on Venice Beach. And let's be honest, he's getting a lot of help from steroids. And I'm not taking HGH or any other top of the line banned substances. He's definitely walking around all jacked up on steroids that would knock a horse off its feet. I feel strongly about this. Therefore, given the IOC's strong stance on banned substances Super Macho Man has absolutely no shot.

Mike Tyson - USA (Catskill, NY*): Mike Tyson's Punch Out came out in 1987, which was definitely before the rape, jail time, ear biting, and everything else that went wrong with Tyson. Still in terms of creating an international incident he's right up there with Bald Bull and Soda Popinski. I can picture Tyson going into the stands Ron Artest style. At the same time Tyson says, "Is this kid a joke? Where's the real challenger?" That exemplifies an attitude that got the Americans in trouble in international play in 2002, 2004, and 2006. Add it all up and Mike Tyson does not make the cut.

Little Mac and Doc - USA (Brooklyn): Right off the bat I know what you're thinking - Little Mac is way too short to play basketball, especially when you realize that Team USA purposely went with bigger guards (Jason Kidd and Deron Williams) in '08 after possibly being undersized in '04. However, Patrick Mills of Australia showed that a lightning quick, shorter guard can do some damage in that warm up game against Team USA. And I don't doubt that Little Mac can move. So the biggest issue is that Little Mac is part of a package deal. He'd definitely want to bring Doc with him. It's similar to the way relatives or coaches of some high school basketball players join the staffs of the colleges those big time recruits choose to attend. Team USA would not want Doc on the staff. First of all he only gives vague advice to Little Mac. Secondly Doc pitches the Nintendo Fan Club at the worst possible moments, like when Tyson is pounding on Little Mac. And in the end the players on Team USA stay in excellent shape and would not go for jogging behind Doc's bike, which is his biggest strength as a coach. So Little Mac and Doc don't make the cut.

* I listed Iron Mike's hometown as Catskill, NY because the game did. But let's not for a second pretend he's from anywhere but Brooklyn.

Foil in the Oven: the Heist Was Almost Complete

Before I get into this Foil in the Oven, I need to break this news. Last week, while the Lakers were staying at the Four Seasons in Boston, a Lakers rep called down to the desk saying that they needed someone brought in to give Kobe Bryant a pedicure. I'm not naming any names here, but this is a very reliable tip. You heard it here first.

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The Celtics almost stole one last night. They didn't play well enough to win in any phase of the game. As dynamic as this offense can look when they are in sync and playing an aggressive style, they have at times throughout this post-season looked completely disjointed and confused. Now, give the Lakers credit for doing a much better job of holding down the interior on defense, but it was so frustrating to watch this Boston offense. The passes were rushed and sloppy. The over-passing reared its ugly head again. The team seemed content to shoot jumpers for the entire first half. It all reminded me of Game Four against Detroit. At one point, when the Celtics were running around, heaving arcing passes to one another and passing over their heads backwards to the man behind them, I screamed in a fit of rage "what is this? The Traveling Circus?!" I don't really know what this meant, but I'm sticking with it.

Defensively, the Celtics didn't bring the level of energy that they did in the first two games, which is the level at which they need to play against this offense. In fact, the fourth quarter was the first time I really felt like they played defense with any urgency. Now, certainly they knew that they were going to be at a disadvantage with the officials, and that may have affected their play, but by not being physical they were abandoning the biggest edge that they have in this series. Maybe they were feeling fatigued from the first two games and the flight. I don't know. But, they weren't sharp. It made me sick to see Gasol beat us on the offensive glass twice in one minute (once with the tip in with about 5 left, and then the offensive rebound and layup), and then run back pounding his chest like some kind of rowdy bearded woman that has had too much to drink. Gasol and Odom are soft, and they should never get those kind of second chances. Perk should have had Gasol smothered on those two boards. It shouldn't have even been an issue. That was lack of intensity, nothing more.
This was a low point for me, even though I was laughing

I don't want to second guess Doc here, because we do enough of that already on this site. But, I'd really like to know what happened on the possession at the end that ended with a Vujacic three. I understand trapping Bryant, but not double teaming him in the middle of the floor at half court. And, even if you are going to do it out there, I don't think you do it with Garnett. And, even if you are going to do it out there and you are going to do it with Garnett, I don't think that you leave the Lakers best three point shooter wide open. I'm assuming there was a miscommunication somewhere. How about the Kobe three pointer from the top of the arc? He stood there like it was a foul shot before letting it go. Not a single Celtic came out to contest it. This was such a frustrating goddamn game.

Don't even get me started on Pierce and Garnett, who were a combined 8-35 from the field. This was the worst passing game I can remember Pierce having in a long time. Both of these guys were far too content to shoot outside jumpers at the start of the game. I don't have a problem with them shooting like that if they are falling, but they shot horribly in the first quarter (neither had a field goal), and at some point they needed to start attacking. When this team settles for jumpers, they are not good. We've talked about this so many times.


Even dunks were low percentage shots for KG last night.

SOME MORE THOUGHTS FROM THE GAME:

- I can see why the Lakers took Kobe off of Ray Allen early in the game, and Ray made them pay. He's the only reason that the Celtics stayed in the game. Granted, Kobe was free to expend much more energy on the offensive end. But, I don't think anybody else on the Lakers matches up well with Ray.

- Did anybody else feel a little weird when they clearly had that feel-good moment with Kobe talking about his family at halftime? We've seen 8,000 specials on him as an intense on-court guy and teammate. That whole thing was obviously designed so that he could talk about his family and they could push the good guy Kobe agenda. I couldn't help but feel like the overall message was "don't worry, me and my wife are fine. She hasn't been ashamed about showing her face in public for a while now." I don't really think that Kobe's a bad guy. But, still, I thought it was weird how they stuck that in there.

- Leon Powe only played 6 minutes last night. He wasn't great, but I would have liked to see more of him. He always brings energy and intensity onto the floor, and it seems like he really gives Lamar Odom problems.

- Eddie House played great. I don't want to see Sam Cassell again. It was nice to remember how well our second unit used to play in the regular season with Eddie at the helm. 1) He doesn't look to shoot first, which means that the Celtics get better scoring chances 2) He works harder on the defensive end 3) They can't lose track of him on defense because he will make you pay from the outside. His inconsistent minutes have affected his shooting touch, so he will only get better if Doc sticks with him.

- Mark Jackson said that Jordan Farmar is a starting point guard in this league.

- I'm sure this was more exaggerated pronounced yesterday because of everything that happened with Donaghy, but why won't they show us replays of questionable fouls? The offensive foul on Ray Allen? The traveling call on KG? I want to see these replays.

- Speaking of Donaghy, I think this guy is just trying to get his sentence reduced. There's no way for us to ever know if those two series were fixed, but I absolutely don't believe that the NBA office has ever fixed a series. Furthermore, Donghy said that referees were told to try not to eject stars in the playoffs. Doesn't that go without saying. Don't you expect the league to say that? In a way, that's the league MAKING SURE that the referees don't decide games. Look, NBA officiating is very subjective. It always will be. And, there will always be certain players that have issues with certain referees. That doesn't mean the game is fixed. I'm more concerned with bad officiating than I am with crooked officiating.


Look, I'll say the same thing I've said time and time again throughout these playoffs. The Celtics played pitifully. They only shot 34.9% from the field. They shot less than 70% from the line. They weren't aggressive on either end of the floor. They gave up 36 points and 7 boards to Kobe Bryant. Paul Pierce was in heavy foul trouble for the whole night. They weren't physical at any point in the game. They only out rebounded the Lakers, a horrible rebounding team, by one (45-44). That they were only down three with two when Vujacic hit that three (with 1:53 left) is a miracle, and speaks to the fact that the Lakers also did not play well. But, Kobe did play well. Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett did not. Am I still confident? Absolutely.

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Charles tries to accomplish what David Blaine could not:



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Hilarious piece from the Blowtorch on Lamar Odom's ineptitude.