Detroit No Longer the Standard

The Detroit Pistons have been the standard in the Eastern Conference for 5 years now. Although they have only appeared in the Finals twice during that stretch, they have been the consistent mark of excellence by which all other East teams need to be measured in order to be taken seriously. The Heat in 06, The Cavs in 07, the Celtics in 08...all of these teams needed to knock off Detroit in order to gain the respect of their critics. And they did. The irony here is that the Pistons have not won the Eastern Conference since 2005. And yet, every year they are showered with respect and accolades usually reserved for reigning champions.

The Pistons are not heroes. Instead, they are the abyss through which heroes must pass. In order to defeat the machine, a hero must rise up and take their game to new and fabled heights. Dwayne Wade emerged from his battle with Detroit more mature and primed to turn in the greatest Finals performance in NBA history. The next year, LeBron James came of age right before our eyes. We had seen the obvious flashes of potential, but it wasn't until King James found himself backed into a corner by the 5 headed monster from the Motor City that he was able to channel that potential into jaw-dropping, legendary greatness. That's what it takes to beat this team. A superstar. And yet, strangely, they have never had a player like this.


They run like a machine. They are mechanically flawless. There are no weaknesses to exploit. And on top of that, they make their own mismatches. Their 7-footer can knock down 3s with astonishing regularity. Rip Hamilton is the ultimate irritant who can get any defender to leave his feet. If their point guard can't beat you off the dribble, he'll post you up down on the low block. Their team defense is like a sleeper hold, slowing your life functions until you're barely able to breathe at all. It's virtually impossible to beat them just by playing sound team basketball, because there's no way that you do it as well as them. They are not superstars. Instead, they are the fire that forges superstars. They are the ultimate test. At least they were. After last night, it's pretty clear to me that those days are gone.






Last night was one of those games that you circle on your calendar as soon as the schedules are released. We all expected another epic battle. An Eastern Conference Finals preview. Hell, I was still thinking that way as I was making my way to my seat last night. The first matchup was a fluke, I thought, this would be much more difficult. Never did I expect that the Big Three would each see less than 30 minutes of floor time. Never did I expect that we'd see Gabe Pruitt and Patrick O'Bryant out on the floor for the Celtics to gain some garbage time experience. Never did I expect that fans would be exiting the arena after just three quarters because the outcome had already been secured. Now, this Pistons team has had some impressive victories, and I know it seems premature to close the book on them while they're still finding their new selves after the AI trade, but I'm doing it. The Pistons are no longer the Pistons. There are still many credible threats to the Celtics in the East this season, but they are coming from different places.


I love the trade that Joe Dumars made to bring in Allen Iverson, because I think that it will pay huge dividends down the line. Essentially, I think it will allow the Pistons to rebuild before they ever sink too low. But, this move kills them in the short term. First, they don't take care of the ball. The Celtics had 11 steals last night, and the Pistons just looked horrible in transition. Second, they can't score points in the paint. Antonio McDyess was a very underrated piece of the Pistons attack, as was the ability of Chauncey Billups to use his size down on the block. Third, their defense is full of holes. Rajon Rondo had his way with them last night. Finally, they lack depth. Stuckey and Maxiell. That's about it. Leon Powe, Tony Allen, Eddie House, Brian Scalabrine (yes...fine..I said it), and Glen Davis dominated the Pistons bench last night.


Now, some of these issues will be relieved if Antonio McDyess returns. He will help them to improve in the paint on both ends. This will also give them another solid bench player in Kwame Brown. However, McDyess will not be enough to salvage this team.


People say that we can't take too much away from the two Detroit-Boston matchups so far this season, but I don't understand why. Exactly what are we waiting to see from Allen Iverson? People say "oh, they're just getting used to playing with Iverson. He's a totally different player than Chauncey Billups." Are we supposed to wait for him to establish some kind of consistent offensive rhythm with this unit? The Nuggets were waiting for that too....FOR 2 YEARS! It's not going to happen, especially not over a few months. Either Allen Iverson is his team's identity or his team has no identity. That's the way it has been for his entire career. In Philadelphia, he was the identity for a long time. That worked during the dark ages of the Eastern Conference, as he once led his team far enough for them to be the Lakers' sacrificial lamb. Under Iverson, the Pistons will be exciting and they will most likely have a good record. But, they will not establish an identity and they will not take care of the basketball. AI has always taken too many shots and he has always turned the ball over. They will continue to give up points. Chauncey Billups used to thwart opponents' possessions before they ever really built any momentum. AI works on defense (I'm not saying it's an effort thing) but the results appear to be the bare minimum. Can the Pistons beat the Celtics as currently constructed (plus McDyess)? In a single game, absolutely. In a playoff game or two, sure. In a 7 game series? Not a chance. What they're doing this season flies completely in the face of the way they were constructed.


The Pistons will be back. This trade assured that. But, for the time being, the shift in power in the East is complete. The new standard has been established. The road in the East runs through Boston. The Pistons can get in line for their shot.

God Bless America and Blockbuster Trades

Trades of this magnitude so rarely happen these days. Superstars in this era usually change teams through free agency or are unloaded for rebuilding (see KG to Celtics for the Al Jefferson prize pack). In fact, the only recent trade I can think of that got my fires burning like this one was the Clinton Portis-Champ Bailey deal. There was no more fitting time than the eve of election day for this to happen, because there is nothing more American than the Blockbuster trade.

The Nuggets now have Chauncey Billups locked up through 2011, with a team option for 2012. I love this move for them. They have seemed like a team desperate for some kind of identity for several years now. After Allen Iverson was brought on board, the question everyone was asking was "Can AI and Melo share the ball." The answer to that question was yes, but it proved to be inconsequential. What we should have been asking was whether or not AI and Melo sharing the ball was a recipe for success.

With Andre Miller out and AI in, the Nuggets offense lacked method and rhythm. Looking more like members of the And 1 tour than a professional basketball team, their inefficiency on offense was jaw-dropping. Furthermore, they were giving up well over 100 points per night despite having a All-NBA defensive player in the middle (the now departed Marcus Camby). There seemed to be no master plan in place, and without Marcus Camby this team seemed destined to disappear into irrelevant oblivion in 08-09. Things will be different now.

Billups will provide veteran leadership, championship experience and moxie, and the offensive stability that has been so lacking. He's got some great weapons in Melo, JR Smith, Kenyon, Martin, and Nene. I expect them to be utilized more effectively than we have ever seen. How could Carmelo Anthony, now in his sixth season, ever be expected to flourish as nothing more than one of the revolving planets in Denver's Answercentric offense? Don't get me wrong, I love AI. He is the essence of spectator sports. He is supremely talented and exciting, and he gives every ounce of what he has every night regardless of the score or his team's current standing. But, he takes a lot of shots. He also turns the ball over a lot, and his overall level of play has also declined. Billups will protect the ball more and shoot less. This will lead to more efficient, methodical, and effective possessions for Denver. Chauncey is also an improvement on the defensive end, where he defends on the ball extremely well.


Although the circumstances have been different, Detroit has also been stuck in a rut. They have been clinging to a song that has grown tired and stale. After failing to make it out of the Eastern Conference Finals for the third straight year, Joe Dumars made it clear that nobody's job was safe. Chauncey Billups is the logical choice for the chopping block. The length of his contract handcuffs the pistons, who see their point guard of the future in Rodney Stuckey. It still remains to be seen how AI will fit into Detroit's offensive system, which has traditionally been a more grinding half-court scheme. But, nobody can deny that this team needs a change. They need a shot of life. They also need to score more points. They have brought in the ultimate competitor, and a guy who has the third highest scoring average of all time.

Regardless of how things play out in Detroit this season, this was the right move. This trade is not about what Allen Iverson can do in 08-09. This move is really about Allen Iverson's expiring contract. Now, don't confuse that with Theo Ratliff's expiring contract. There is a real talented superstar to go along with it, and I expect AI to have a great season in Detroit. But, what fueled this move for Joe Dumars was the cap space that it will open up this summer. Iverson and Rasheed Wallace's contracts alone will wipe 34 million dollars off of Detroit's books, allowing them to rebuild without ever needing to sink too low. I'm sure it was hard for Joe Dumars to pull the trigger on this one, and I'm sure Detroit fans are sad to part with the floor general that has guided them through so many great years. However, this is the nature of pro sports in the 21st century, and I think Dumars has set his team up very well for the future.

Public Service Announcement

At this risk of being the guy at ROOMOFZEN who always talks about food I want to make people aware of a disturbing new trend. It started during the regular season when I attended the first Celtics/Pistons game at the TD Banknorth Garden. At some point I headed to a concession stand to grab a snack and a beer. This was way back in December so I’m a little fuzzy on the details. But as I recall they offered some sort of buffalo chicken snack – boneless Buffalo wings, buffalo chicken tenders, something like that. I figured it would hit the spot. Thankfully the guy in front of me ordered whatever the hell it was. I watched in horror as the vendor simply covered the fried meat with hot sauce. This led to an inconsistent coating and prevented the meat from soaking up the sauce. That would be like grilling a steak and throwing some sauce on afterwards instead of marinating it ahead of time. Nobody wants that. In the end I went with 2 beers. Clearly I did not come out a loser in this situation and I narrowly avoided disaster. But I've seen this type of things in a few other places as well. This needs to be stopped immediately and order should be restored:

Foil in the Oven: Shoot the Ball!

Today's Foil in the Oven is going to be very short because I have a job interview to get to.

Obviously this series will be going longer than I predicted. I'm certainly not surprised that it's going longer, but I still stick to my reasoning. This series may go 7 games now, and it just doesn't have to be that difficult. But, I guess that has been the overarching theme of this entire postseason.

The Celtics were completely out of sync all night long. It's hard to be upset today about the loss, because I can't believe they were in the game for so long. They shot 31.8 percent from the field, while allowing Detroit to shoot 51.4 percent. Everyone in the media, both local and national, keeps saying that the 19 point discrepancy was not indicative of how close the game was. This is true in the sense that the Pistons didn't really seal it until Billups' three pointer with 2:55 left. But, in my mind, that 19 point discrepancy is a very accurate indicator of how poorly the Celtics played.

The Celtics were completely pathetic on offense. In fact, their only real offense was shooting free throws. Now, I'm fine with an offense not getting going because of shots not falling, but the passing is what killed me here. There were so many possessions that started with wild, errant passes that looked like they were flying out of bounds until the intended target would leap up and save them. You know that those possessions are doomed from the start because whoever ends up with the ball is completely flustered and taken out of their rhythm.

And, even worse than the bad passing was the over-passing. Nobody was willing to assert themselves offensively last night, and it drove me insane. How many good looks did Rondo and Garnett pass up? How many times did a guy with a good scoring opportunity suddenly appear panic stricken and kick the ball back out with time running down on the shot clock? The one play that sticks out in my mind is Ray Allen driving to the hoop towards the end of the game, and suddenly zipping this pass off the midsection of an unsuspecting KG. Allen had a good scoring opportunity and KG was following to clean up a potential miss. But, for some reason, Allen squandered a good scoring opportunity by making an unnecessary pass. This was the story of the game in my mind. Right after Billups hit that three to put Detroit up 10, KG got the ball at the other end, and hit a perfect jump-hook over McDyss. I was furious "Why haven't you been doing that all night dickhead!" I screamed. Very rarely do I get so frustrated with KG. But, he had been passing those shots up all night. One of those three guys needed to assert themselves last night, and they passed up the opportunity over and over again.

Now, credit Detroit's defense for not allowing any easy scoring chances inside. They contested everything, but they also committed a lot of fouls. The officials were quick with their whistles last night, which was all the more reason to attack the basket. The way Detroit was playing, Sheed and McDyss may have been out of the game by the start of the fourth if the Celtics weren't so resigned to passing out of the paint.

Obviously this was a poor performance from Rondo. I really thought that Doc should have had Pierce starting the offense up top more often. That has proven to be the best way to get the offense back on track. But, there was probably nothing that could have salvaged last night's performance.



Again, 31.8 percent from the field for the Celtics. 51.4 percent for the Pistons. The Celtics had the deer in the headlights look to them on offense for the entire game, and literally the only mildly positive thing I can say about their performance is "they got to the free throw line a lot, but they could have been their more." They had twice as many turnovers as the Pistons (14-7). And yet, the Celtics were still in a position to win the game. Once Chauncey's 3 ended the hopes of a comeback, they Celtics allowed the gap to widen to something that was a little more indicative of how they played. But, they couldn't have played worse, and they could have won that game. They were only down 5 for much of the fourth quarter.

Game 5 has been a strong point for these Celtics so far in the playoffs. They need to come out strong on Wednesday night. If they do, they will win. Even if they don't, they could still win. But, let's hope they do.

I get the Tony Allen thing alright. I was wrong. When you haven't seen Tony play in a while, your mind tends to focus on his athletic abilities and all of his physical attributes that lend themselves so well to basketball. You forget that he has a very low basketball IQ.

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Maybe Kobe will score 60 points tonight. I need to watch something like that to clear my head after watching last night's game, which was sort of like watching dead cars being crushed in a scrapyard.

Foil in the Oven: Top of the Dude Chain

So, I just returned from the Disfear show at Great Scott, and I just figured that I should go ahead and write Monday's Foil in the Oven right now. I just spent a good 4 hours drinking Pabst tall boys while rocking out to Swedish Punk. What better state of mind could I possibly have for writing this post?

The night began in a promising fashion, after a 9 hour shift at work, Riley picked me up and we headed straight for Great Scott. After soaking in the atmosphere and throwing down some beers, we noticed that Tomas Lindberg (the lead singer of Disfear) was stationed at the t-shirt table. I'm not sure how many people noticed, because the table was not crowded, but seeing this immediately made me decide that I needed to check out the merchandise. I walked over, and offered up a fist pump to Tomas. He seemed a little confused, but returned my offering. "You're a badass motherfucker man" I said. "Thanks" he said, with a smirk on his face. He was completely unphased by this compliment, which affirmed in my mind what I had said. There was only one shirt left in XL, and I procured it. Sick.

I probably don't need to tell you that the show was amazing. If you haven't checked out Live the Storm yet, I can't recommend it enough. You can sample some of the tunes here and download some of them here.

.............This is where I went to sleep. Perhaps writing it all last night was a bit ambitious.
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Game 3 seems like it was so long ago now, which is the problem we sometimes run into on weekends, but let's hit on a few things anyways:

Overall, it was a great win, and you certainly wouldn't be inaccurate in saying that the Celtics dominated. In fact, this youtube clip (which was featured by Jim on Green Bandwagon ) really shows what an awesome performance it was:




Now, that being said, the fourth quarter was dicey. The Celtics have had problems with Detroit's pressure defense, and that trap really took them out of their element. I started to panic a little bit when Detroit had the lead down to nine. Up until that point, the whole "can't win on the road" thing hadn't entered my mind. But it did at that moment, and I said to myself "holy shit, if we blow this game, there's NO WAY we're winning this series." But, then Sheed fouled out, the Pistons couldn't score on a few possessions, KG and Ray both made some huge buckets, and the next thing I knew it was right back to 14.

Had that game been played in Boston, I don't think I would have been as tense. Up nine with three minutes left is a pretty good spot to be in. So, for everything that I said, I guess I was worried about going on the road. It's certainly a relief to get that win.

I can't say enough about the way the bench played. One stretch of the game that can't be overlooked was the huge run (13-0) that Detroit went on at the end of the first quarter. James Posey, PJ Brown, Sam Cassell, and Glen Davis all helped to get Boston back on track after they had weathered the storm. And, while we're on the topic of role players, Perk was nasty. He's having a really good series overall.

I don't want to hear anything from Pistons fans about Billups being hurt. Clearly, he's not 100 percent. Clearly his minutes are down. But Stuckey is killing us! We have no answer for him. This is not just a backup point guard who is managing to run the offense in the starter's absence. He's shredding up the best defensive team in the NBA.

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Rip Hamilton is one of my favorite UCONN players of all time. My three all-time favorites are Taliek Brown, Kevin Freeman, and Ricky Moore. I was convinced that Ricky Moore was going to be a great NBA player. I'm not exactly sure why it didn't happen, but I'd like to think I'd be able to assess him a little more objectively now.

Where did we go wrong Ricky?

Anyways, Rip is probably my favorite of the guys who made it big in the NBA. His game winner against Washington in the Sweet Sixteen in 1998 is one of my favorite college basketball memories. His play in 1999 tournament, particularly in the upset of Duke in the national championship, still live on in UCONN husky lore.

(As a side note, that was also the first year of Gonzaga. Everyone loved Gonzaga that year. I even had people in Connecticut telling me they wouldn't mind seeing Gonzaga win because they were a great story. Whores. I've never been able to stomach Gonzaga since. I hate them. Do we really just like a team because they have a cool name? Really?)

As with all UCONN players, I have followed Rip's NBA career closely. I was slightly concerned about his future in the NBA (certainly not as confident as I was about Ricky Moore) because of his size. He's 6'7 but he's very thin. It's been great to see the type of player that he has developed into. He is a master of moving without without the ball. He's a mid-range assassin. I have a lot of respect for him for the same reasons that I have always respected this Pistons team. Like his team, Rip is not flashy. He wears his opponent down methodically over the course of the game. He runs him ragged, he's frustrates him, and he knocks down everything. This Pistons team, like Rip, has this grizzled, hardened quality to them that I find to be very alluring.


Because of all these things, this series has been very strange for me. Suddenly, Rip has become the masked villain in my world. All the qualities that made him so great to root for are driving me insane in this series. He gets away with murder with the officials, and he is one of the best in the game at drawing whistles. Every time I felt like the Celtics had the Pistons put away in games 1 and 3, Rip would be there to keep Detroit in the game. Every time the Celtics were within striking distance in Game 2, Rip was there to make sure that they never got close enough. Never fatigued, always steady, he is the kind of guy that can drive you crazy. He is that guy that you love when he's on your team, but you can't stand when you're playing against him.

Up until this series, I've always considered Rip as someone on my team because of his status as a former UCONN husky. Sure, I've had to root against him before in the NBA, but never with the stakes this high. I've always wanted the Celtics to beat him, but I'd be happy if he played well in the process. I haven't felt that way at all during this series, and it's been strange. Hopefully, once this series is over, I can root for Rip again as usual. I have a feeling that will depend on how this series plays out.

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Foil in the Oven: The Fix Is In

I decided on the title of today's Foil in the Oven last night in the throes of post-game frustration. I'm feeling more stable this morning, and I'm able to examine the events of Game 2 in a less cataclysmic light. Nevertheless, I have to air my grievances with the officiating. I have dashed off the next section. If you are a Celtics fan, and want to commiserate, please read. If you are not a Celtics fan, and don't feel like hearing the homer thing, go ahead and skip it. Now, I think it's fair criticism. But, the officiating has been awful throughout the entire post-season, so I understand if you don't want to read more about it.


All of this PDA at an NBA playoff game? Come on Tom, you're better than that.

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The officiating, particularly in the first half, was incredibly poor and one-sided. Ray Allen should have gone to the locker room at halftime with one foul instead of three. The first foul on Allen was a particularly weak call, as Rip Hamilton literally jabbed the ball into him to get the whistle. Even Jeff Van Gundy thought it was a bad call and I'm convinced that he hates the Celtics.

I kept replaying this call over and over again in my mind every time Kevin Garnett had the ball in his hands. I kept saying out loud "well, if we're going by the way they've called things on the other end, I find it really hard to believe that Kevin Garnett wasn't fouled on that sequence." If you watched the game, you know that KG was working harder than he's had to work all postseason on the offensive end. There was a lot of contact, and yet he only shot two free throws in the game. I'm all for letting them play, and this was more indicative of how I'd like to see games called, but the problem last night was that the action wasn't being called evenly.

Ray Allen's third foul, which was apparently the result of him moving his arms inward to try and secure the ball after Lindsey Hunter swiped it, was nearly as bad as the first. In my mind, there can only be a foul called there if Ray fouls Hunter in an attempt to stop him from having a transition opportunity. The whistle was too quick. This contrasted sharply with a similar sequence a few possessions later, when the referees waited for Hunter to foul Pierce about 5 times (even one of the announcers said 'wow, he fouled him 3 or 4 times there) and didn't blow the whistle until Hunter and Pierce were literally on the ground.

The goaltending call on KG was close and should have been a no-call, like the charge they didn't call on Rip a couple of possessions later. I have no problem with letting those calls go at the end if they are not blatant, BUT you have to let them go on both sides. In my mind, these two plays down the stretch really embodied the overall officiating trends of the game.

At halftime, I was blaming the officiating for the Celtics being down. However, by the end of the game I could not pin the loss squarely on the referees. The Celtics were outplayed. But, the effects of the poor officiating cannot be discounted. The poor first half officiating directly affected the Celtics in two ways as the game progressed:

1) The Celtics were clearly frustrated with the way the game had been going, and this led to them committing an inordinate amount of second and quarter fouls. Now, that's on them. They're professionals. But, I think a great deal of their frustration stemmed from those calls.

and, more importantly:

2) Ray Allen finally found his shooting touch, but had to sit for an unnecessary portion of the second half because of his foul trouble.


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Now, all that said, give all the credit in the world to the Pistons. They turned in a signature performance in a hostile environment. They made every big shot that they took. They forced the Celtics into bad shots when they had to. And, it wasn't just the usual suspects. Certainly, Rip Chauncey Tayshaun and Sheed all contributed in big ways, but they could not have won without huge contributions from Antonio McDyss and Rodney Stuckey and very efficient minutes from Lindsey Hunter. This team is so steady and fluid, and that's why they have a winning record on the road during these playoffs.

Am I still confident? Absolutely. Here's why:

Although the Celtics defense looked strong at times (mainly at the start of each half), it was bad overall. They allowed the Pistons to shoot over 49 percent from the field. They allowed far too many easy transition baskets, and they put Rip and Chauncey at the line too many times. This, combined with the fact that Detroit seemed like they couldn't miss down the stretch, was the worst case defensive scenario for the Celtics. And yet, they were right there. They were in this game until the final second ticked away.

Perhaps the best part of last night, and the part that got me out of bed with such a positive energy this morning, was the re-emergence of Ray Allen. Allen looked unstoppable towards the end of the game, and I have to wonder how things might have turned out if he didn't have to be sat down with foul trouble. He was hitting outside shots, he was driving and changing up his pace, he even drove baseline and threw down a dunk. Ray is back, and that means trouble for the Pistons. They are certainly a great defensive team, but how do you defend this Celtics team when its three superstars are all on their game?

The gauntlet has finally been thrown down. It was only a matter of time. If these Celtics are indeed a championship caliber team, they eventually need to show us that they have the moxie to win a game outside of the protective confines of the TD Banknorth Garden. Perhaps this is just what they needed. For the first time during these playoffs, the Celtics will take to the road with a sense of urgency. With their backs to the walls, in a hostile environment, this team will have a chance to silence all of their doubters.

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Baseball has lost some of its magic for me over the past few years, and this is something that I find disheartening. Somehow, the combination of seeing Major League Baseball throw these players under the bus for infractions on which they knowingly turned a blind eye for profit and the mutation of some of my childhood heroes into these iniquitous caricatures of their former selves (see the Babcock Report below) has weighed heavily on me and made it more difficult for me to invest myself fully into the game that I once enjoyed so freely. Along with this, I have always been discouraged by the fact that the players and owners can't seem to find any common ground on an issue (a potential salary cap) that would be so good for the sport. While the other professional leagues are thriving in new markets, Major League Baseball continues to be bogged down by inequity. Every year there is a surprise team or two, but they are aberrations. Perhaps it is a more accurate representation of our society, but it makes for poor entertainment. I find the arms race that takes place every off season between the super powers equally as disturbing as the situation mentioned above. But, as a life long Red Sox fan that has already been to Fenway Park three times this season, I guess I'm not part of the solution.

Anyways, apologies for that. What I wanted to say is that there is a handful of players that I will always hold in the highest regard as a symbol of everything that's right about baseball. I have my own reasons for loving these players, and maybe some of them are the result of nothing more than fan bias. But, two of them were in the news yesterday, and I want to touch on them quickly.



1) Pedro Martinez announced yesterday that reports of his retirement after 2008 were inaccurate. I love Pedro's attitude on the mound, I love his approach to the game, and I still consider his 1999 and 2000 seasons among the highest level of performance that I have ever seen as an athlete. He has done a great job of adjusting his repertoire to counteract the aging process, and I look forward to continuing to watch him pitch whenever the Mets are on national TV.


2) Ken Griffey Jr. hit his 598th home run last night. It's hard to not feel completely unfulfilled when looking back on Griffey's career. Between his charismatic personality and his perfect swing, this guy is one of my all-time favorites. Had he stayed healthy, he most certainly would be the home run king. Who in today's game would be more deserving of such a title.
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Here is a hilarious video of Charles Barkley. You have to watch the whole thing, it's great.


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Two final thoughts:

1) Hilarious text message came last night from Ferrante at crunch time when the Pistons were pulling away "Maybe Doc is telling them to punch back instead of actually coaching them."

2) On Sportscenter, Marcellus Wiley just said that Pacman Jones at wideout is a good idea for Dallas because he'll have to spend more time reading the playbook and less time at "those naked ballets". Awesome.

Foil in the Oven: Prison Rules

Truthfully, I never thought that I'd be this disappointed about a Western Conference playoff game. I wanted to watch this Hornets team play for as long as possible. I'm not sure why I have adopted them as my second team this post-season. I had to pick a West team to root for, and somehow they took over that role right from the start. Maybe it's because I wanted to root against the Mavs (I really think I'm going to hate them forever for that trade) and Spurs so badly. But, I think it has a lot more to do with the exciting style of basketball that New Orleans plays. Their style is so unpredictable and fun to watch, and yet you can see that Chris Paul is totally in control of the offense throughout the entire game. Unfortunately, their shooting was cold last night, and you need to have everything working if you want to beat the defending champs in an elimination game. I want to highlight the great effort from Jannero Pargo, who scored 16 in the fourth quarter to bring the Hornets within striking distance. In the end, it was not enough. But, I really enjoyed watching this New Orleans run. I am excited to see what pieces they add this offseason and I can't wait to watch them next year. Once I have a little more disposable income, I might even nab one of these yellow jerseys, because I think they are awesome.

I'll be blunt, the Spurs advancing is bad for the NBA. The Hornets wow-factor, combined with the fact that they are new on the playoff scene and they are from New Orleans, would have made for a much more exciting Western Conference finals matchup. The Spurs are like the Patriots. Yes, you respect how incredibly consistent they have been for so long. But, unless they're you're favorite team, you always want to see them lose. It's like this with any of the great dynasties.



Luckily, I don't think we will have to watch San Antonio in the finals again this year. I really like the way the Lakers match up with the Spurs. Pau Gasol will pay his biggest dividends in this series, as he has historically played Tim Duncan very well. Furthermore, as Sir Charles Barkley pointed out last night on TNT, Gasol and Lamar Odom will ensure that Tony Parker will not be able to attack the basket in this series like he did against New Orleans. There's nobody on that San Antonio team, not even Bruce Bowen, that can stop Kobe Bryant, and I believe that Bryant can stifle Manu on the defensive end. I think that these will be high scoring games, and that favors Los Angeles.

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On this day last year, I wore a horseshow around my neck to work. Later on that evening, I stood in a tub with a jug of wine, and Bedell and I spent an hour performing witchcraft rituals that we had found to bring good luck. We chanted while facing all directions, we poured and drank the sacrament of Franzia, we crushed garlic cloves, and we rubbed the wine on pictures of Len Bias and Reggie Lewis. There were pictures of Greg Oden and Kevin Durant on either side of the living room. Then we sat and watched in horror as the Celtics wound up with the fifth pick in the draft.



I immediately phoned for a large pizza (Greek style, extra cheese), drove to pick it up, and ate the entire thing in the car on the ten minute drive home. At that time, I never even considered the possibility that the Celtics wouldn't be figuring prominently in today's lottery. And, I certainly never could have imagined in my wildest dreams that the lottery would be taking place before game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals, which would be taking place in Boston. So, I recommend taking the time to watch the lottery tonight (7:30). Word is that Jay-Z will be representing the Nets, so that should be exciting, and it will give us a preliminary idea of how the draft will play out. Plus, you'll have the chance to make comments like "Jesus, nothing ever works out for us! We can't catch a break!" and then start laughing. It's ok, you've earned it.

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As far as the actual game tonight, I am very interested to see how each team responds to the circumstances of their past week. Many of the analysts that I have heard today (national analysts) are predicting that the Pistons will take the game tonight, because they are rested and the Celtics will have an emotional hangover from the game on Sunday. Certainly, I can see the reasoning for this prediction, particularly after the sloppy game 1 that the Cs played against the Cavs following an emotional game 7 evisceration of the Hawks. However, I don't believe that rest is always good for a team that's on a hot streak. The Pistons were playing great against Orlando, particularly in the final two games. In particular, they were getting more out of their bench guys than they had gotten all year. From a momentum standpoint, I think the best thing would have been for them to keep playing. There is no doubt that the rest was valuable for Chauncey Billups. But, as far as momentum is concerned, I think the Pistons' rest could work against them tonight. It will be interesting to see.



I am making my final public plea before this series begins to see Tony Allen. These games are going to be close, and we're going to need someone other than Rondo defending whoever is playing the point for Detroit. Billups, Stuckey, and Hunter all provide tough matchups for Rondo. Tony Allen has been a defensive stopper for this Celtics team all season long, and Doc is going to need to get him involved. He can't sit him on the bench for three and a half quarters, and then throw him out there for the last six minutes. He needs to use him in the regular rotation for the entire series.

It will also be interesting to see how Doc handles the point guard rotation. Eddie House was implemented far too late in the last series, and gave the Cs a great lift in games 6 and 7. I hate to think of Cassell being played over House on the offensive end in this series. However, as Casten wrote in his comment yesterday, Cassell might be the Celtics' best option defensively. He is a bigger point guard, and Chauncey won't be able to bully him down on the block like he does to Rondo. Sam plays that same game, and he will be more effective at defending it. Remember, all of these Pistons' point guards are slower than Daniel Gibson, who made Cassell look foolish in the last series.

As I said, there are emotional wildcards for both teams as we head into this game. How will the Pistons play after taking a week off? How will the Celtics respond after being taken the distance by LeBron and the Cavs? Regardless of how tonight turns out, I expect this series to be fucking awesome. Just like all of the regular season meetings between these teams, all three of which had a playoff vibe to them, I expect the series to be an all-out slugfest. All the games will be close, and tensions are going to run at an all-time high. I can't wait.

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I can't figure out Craig Sager. Is he the man? Does he wear absurd looking suits because he's such a bad-ass? Is he a loser? Do the players like him? When they make fun of him, do they do it because they really don't like him or do they do it because they like him and they think he's funny? I have no idea.

Here's the best one. KG making fun of Sager after waxing the Knicks:


Baron Davis can't help laughing at Sager's outfit at halftime:


Nash wipes Amare's face with Sager's hankerchief:


Finally, hilarious Nash and Amare commercial:

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I have to work all day tommorow, but Foil in the Oven will return on Wednesday to recap the action from Game 1 and thoughts for Game 2.



It never gets old.

Statement Made

Well, it's official, the Celtics are playoff-bound. They also now have a five game lead and the tie-breaker over Detroit for the top spot in the East. Maybe we all knew after the first pre-season game in Italy that this was a playoff team, but with a group this good, I'm not going to take anything for granted. I want to enjoy every step of the process.

Last night was an important win for many reasons. Perhaps the most significant is that the Celtics really answered the bell for the first time in a while. Ever since KG went down, this team has lost the dominant form that it had during the first 30 or so games of the season. It seemed like a little bit of the swagger was missing. The Celtics showed us last night that they still have that higher gear that they can shift to if need be. You can't expect a dominant performance every night. It's a long season. But last night was the most important game this team has played in over a month, and they played with a sense of urgency from the moment they stepped on the floor. They had to. Ray Allen was 1-9 from the field, and still I never felt for one second like we were going to lose this game. Much like the first two matchups, this felt like a playoff game.

I can't say enough about the way that Rajon Rondo has developed this year. The guy is going to have a great future. He has all the skills and all the intangibles that you could want from a point guard. He played up to Chauncey Billups' level for the whole game last night, and his drive and dunk on Richard Hamilton (on which a flagrant foul should have been called) gave us the shot of energy that we needed. He's scrappy on defense, he pulls down offensive rebounds, he's a great passer, and he's turning into a very effective scorer. Our offense takes a noticeable halt whenever Eddie House comes in. I'm very excited at the prospect of having Sam Cassell come in and spell Rondo while House plays the 2 spot.

Finally, last night was vintage KG. He was hitting shots from all over the court, adjusting shots on defense, and he showed no ill signs of his injury. This was the best game that he has played in a while, and I can't wait to see him in the playoffs. The most impressive moment for me came right after Rasheed Wallace had commited his fourth foul. KG took it at him, made a sick move to get Wallace of his feet, and forced foul number five. Because he had just gotten his fourth on the last play, the most important thing on Sheed's mind at that point was probably not commiting a fifth foul, and KG's moves are so good that he had no choice. While we're on the subject of Sheed, he played great last night. This Pistons team is well-seasoned, and they're not going to go away quietly. If last night's energy and intensity (Ray Allen elbowing Rip in the throat, Rondo getting slammed to the court) are any sign of things to come when these teams lock horns in the playoffs, this will be one of the best series in recent memory.