Wednesday, November 12, 2008

You know it when you see it...

We are approaching Sports Nirvana, a state of mind characterized by a complete and utter immersion into the world of professional sports. Consider:

- The NHL in full swing, dominating the frozen tundra of America

- The NFL crashing through hi-def screens, threatening to erode worker profitability and deepen our economic downturn through endless fan obsession and fantasy competition

- The NBA slashing and burning its way through ESPN & TNT, giving us more player tattoos and press conferences than we've ever seen before; meanwhile Charles Barkley loses in craps, but eats away his guilt through expert analysis on TNT and buffet dinners at the Ritz

- Mixed Martial Arts blitzkrieging the national scene and proffering fights of untold brutality and sheer madness which disgust yet fascinate us on the weekend PPV circuit; Why watch this seedy display of human cock-fighting? Anderson Silva, the pound-for-pound best fighter in the world, is slowly making his ascent to the Mt. Everest of ass-kickery. Rumor has it that a fight with Rampage is on the horizon, so watching MMA will be worthwhile as this storyline unfolds and shatters through our televisions.

There is no better time than the present to be a reader of the RoomofZen because we offer spiritual insights into this strange world. It's a world filled with heroes like Superman Dwight Howard or Chief Clinton Portis. But it's also filled with villains like Kobe Bryant or Sean Avery, the resident fashion-expert on the Dallas Stars. (Sidenote: does anyone in the US or Canada like Sean Avery?)

The journey to Sports Nirvana, much like a 3d-IMAX which expands and intrigues your senses, is bolstered by a sound-track which celebrates the animal spirit within us all:





Think of Sports Nirvana as the apex of a guitar solo by Slash or Dave Mustaine, delivered to a drunken frenzy of OzzFest die-hards on a hot summer's eve. Or, think of the roomofzen and it's quest to Sports Nirvana as that GNR-Motley Crue tour in the early 90s which saw Nikki Sixx die and then come back to life, figuratively speaking. That tour had to kick more ass than possible.

In any event, the essence of complete and utter awesomeness is professional sports coupled with heavy metal and a healthy dose of guitar solos right now. I'd hate to see you miss any of it these next few weeks and months...

1 comment:

Nick L. said...

I'm no mind reader, but I think you meant to say "The NHL ripping ass in non-conventional areas where nobody likes hockey such as Florida, Tennessee, Arizona, North Carolina, and California".