1. Don't get arrested.
2. Eat some local cuisine. Unhealthy in a caloric sense is a plus. Of course any type of Montezuma's Revenge scenario is not.
3. Do something that would be hard/impossible to experience in New England.
4. Keep track of NBA jerseys.
In the words of Will Ferrell, "I think I did alright." (Sadly I spent the last 20 minutes trying to find the classic "Delco Cat Toys" skit that I just referenced. It's nowhere to be found. If you haven't seen it I'm deeply sorry.) Ultimately goal #4 is the only one that really has any relevance right now. So let's get right down to the rankings.
Honorable mention: Though this is really about NBA jerseys I did get a kick out of a number of random t-shirts. In the end the Springfield YMCA basketball t-shirt stood above the rest. It's at least slightly odd to come across in a village of people mainly of Mayan descent.
5. Kobe Bryant's #24 home jersey: As a Celtics fan one would expect this would grab the final spot. First of all it's Kobe. And second of all I despise his move away from #8 to #24. But the owner of said jersey flew by me at a high speed on a motorcycle. This deserves respect for a couple of reasons:
- The roads in Guatemala are treacherous. Think of the worst frost heave hit road you've come across and you're on the right track.
- I found little to no evidence of road rules. Yes, I saw a few pick up trucks pulled over with police standing by with intimidating guns. In fact we were pulled over at one point so the police could check us out. However, pedestrians have no rights, everyone (sugarcane trucks included, which are outrageously long and in a hurry) passes with reckless abandon, and though there were some posted speed limits, the government/police seem to rely on numerous speed bumps instead. Add it all up and it's not that easy to drive around. Of course the motorcycle only increases the degree of difficulty.
Having said all that it's still Kobe. So he's last, but I thought about it.
4. Jason Kidd. Team unknown: I was a passenger in a yellow school bus, the kind you see on American streets everyday, that was in the process of dangerously passing another yellow school bus. As this happened I saw several old women hacking branches with machetes, three policemen brandishing guns by a pickup truck they pulled over, and a random dude in a J-Kidd jersey. It was too much to take in at once and I blanked on the team. Sadly it was definitely not a cleverly made volleyball throwback style jersey created on the heels of completely unfounded, borderline irresponsible rumors.
3. KG's home Timberwolves jersey: This gains points because KG is involved. Yet it's lower on the list because the owner lives in Texas most of the time. I think that matters. Meanwhile, though this has absolutely no relevance, I am intrigued by KG's new commercial.
2. Vince Carter's purple Raptors jersey: It's important that you disregard everything I previously wrote about Kobe. Here goes. I actually like Vince Carter, mainly because nearly everyone despises him. It's not that I admire everything about his game, his last days in Toronto or his legacy. And I understand the criticism. Most of it seems to revolve around his unwillingness to go to the rim, a tendency to get franchise player money and not deserve it and a collective decision that he wasted his talent. It just seems like animosity towards a player gets to a certain point where everybody makes the same critiques time after time and he becomes underrated. Put it this way. There are some guys on this list stealing money and Carter is by no means the biggest offender. Bonus points because the owner was seven years old and was carrying a cinder block on his shoulder. Awesome.
1. Jermaine O'Neal's blue Pacers jersey: I always enjoyed O'Neal's good Indy teams. And as a fan of the NBA I'm still a little bummed out that core did not reach its natural end. Unless of course you think Ron Artest charging into the stands with Stephen Jackson and the subsequent suspensions/trades was its natural end. As a side note if I'd seen a Ron Artest jersey it would have been #1 on the list and out of respect I would have ranked the next jersey #3. But that almost goes without saying.
2 comments:
At one point I owned an Eric Montross Celtics jersey. Appropriately #0. God how I wish I had hung onto that jersey. I think it got donated to goodwill so it too could be floating around some Central American country as we speak.
That could be a phenomenal post. The results of most obscure jerseys people owned at one point or another.
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