Plaxico Burress was brought to the Giants to be the ultimate weapon against the Eagles undersized defensive backs. These wide receivers are talented, but they're young and they weren't supposed to have to shoulder the load yet. Hakeem Nicks is having balls bounce off his hands. Mario Manningham can't get his feet down twice on plays that would have been guaranteed touchdowns for Burress. Eli is smart and saavy and he knows where to go with the ball, but what else can he do when these guys can't even stay in bounds?
Bottom line: this game, this season, and certainly last season would have been different if this asshole didn't shoot himself in the leg.
I hate the Eagles, but hats off to them.
I can only hope that Steve Spagnuolo is fired in St. Louis (although I don't think it's likely) so we can get him back here next season. It doesn't even have to be him. Anybody! Bill Sheridan is a joke. This defensive line is an absolute joke right now. I don't know what it is, but I find it hard to believe that every single one of these guys has suddenly "lost it". Maybe it's scheme, maybe they aren't motivated to play for him. Whatever it is, it needs to change. Osi Umenyiora is good. I know he is. Two years ago, he sacked Donovan McNabb 6 times.
I can give Sheridan a pass on the secondary breakdowns. That whole secondary is patchwork. But, the lack of pressure on opposing quarterbacks is inexcusable.
This season of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia has been amazing. The Gang Gives Frank An Intervention was probably the funniest episode of any tv show I have ever seen in my life. And, The D.E.N.N.I.S. System isn't far behind. If you need to kill time before the Giants kickoff tonight, and you haven't seen it yet, why don't you take in Dennis's fool proof plan for seducing women (note, you should probably hit play, then immediately hit pause, and let it load for a couple of minutes).
and, while we're at it, why not see how it turns out at the end:
Also, Jessica Simpson is now dating Billy Corgan. It's weird because even though I know this is hands down the most badass dude she's dated, it feels as if she's hit rock bottom because he's so old. Good for him though, she's way hotter than any of Tiger's mistresses. I guess there are some barriers that not even Tiger can break: chicks will always take rock stars over golfers. I think the world is a happier place that way.
Anyways, the picks:
INDIANAPOLIS -7 over Denver: I'll be shocked if Indy doesn't finish 16-0.
Cincinnati +6.5 over MINNESOTA: I don't want to be hopping on the "this is where Favre totally self destructs" bandwagon, but I can only go by what I see. I said in our pre-season podcast that even if Favre started well, it wouldn't last. It certainly lasted longer than I thought, but now it seems to be coming to an end. 19 yards last week: Adrian Peterson is not healthy.
TAMPA BAY +3 over NY Jets: I'm going with Josh Freeman over Kellen Clemens because he's at home and he threw five picks last week, which means he's going to be extra careful with the ball this week.
KANSAS CITY PK over Buffalo: The Chiefs were embarrassed by a division rival last week. I like them to bounce back a home here.
GREEN BAY -3.5 over Chicago: Two teams on totally opposite paths here. Despite all the fuss over Jay Cutler this off-season, it will be very apparent that he is the inferior quarterback in this matchup.
NEW ORLEANS -10 over Atlanta: The Saints have had some close calls lately, but this Falcons team is done.
Detroit +13.5 over BALTIMORE: Two touchdowns seems a little steep to me. These Lions play hard, and the Ravens are not so intimidating this year.
Miami +2.5 over JACKSONVILLE: Miami has the right kind of swagger. Jacksonville's win over Houston last week only came with Schaub missing time. They are the ultimate "blah" team.
NEW ENGLAND -13 over Carolina: As long as Randy Moss is on time.
HOUSTON -6.5 over Seattle: This Texans team is so much better than their record. I have a feeling they are going to be like the Cardinals. We heard for years and years about how the Cardinals were going to be a surprise team. They'd show flashes, but wouldn't be able to put it together. Then, last season, after we'd all written them off, they finally prove us right. Not this year for the Texans, but they're getting there.
TENNESSEE -13 over St. Louis: Vince Young is questionable, but I don't really know if it even matters. Yeah, he's been great. But it isn't just him. This is a talented team, and they will all benefit from this momentum.
OAKLAND +1 over Washington: Wow, is this tough. The Raiders have to be taken seriously when they play at home. But, the Skins have been playing way over their heads. Still on the West Coast, I'll go with the West Coast team.
San Diego +3 over DALLAS: It will feel strange to be this happy about the Chargers winning.......
NY GIANTS -1 over Philadelphia: The stakes don't get much higher here. I can't talk about it.
Arizona -3.5 over SAN FRANCISCO: The Cardinals are better than the Saints, and they just spanked the Vikings. Assuming they won't have to play a postseason game outdoors in the cold, don't be surprised to see this team in the Super Bowl.
In order for the Giants to redeem this season and reignite the high hopes we all held when the season began, they needed to win two in a row at the start of December. We're halfway there, and I couldn't be happier. It wasn't perfect, but I finally saw the spirit in this team I'd been missing for the past 6 weeks.
Next week won't get any easier, as the Eagles dominated the first meeting and crushed Atlanta today. But, Tony Romo played incredibly well this afternoon (yep, that's the first time I've said something like that). It's hard to imagine a quarterback playing better, and the Giants were able to withstand it. This will be the best I've slept on a Sunday in a long time......
After posting a 75% record last season, we see that I clearly can't pick games worth dick this year. I'm not even going to try this week. The Giants Thanksgiving Day humiliation makes it even less appealing. Have I thought about the NFL all week? No. The Celtics are 9 minutes away from sweeping their roadtrip, Kendrick Perkins is fulfilling his destiny to become the second coming of Robert Parish, and Kevin Garnett isn't looking like a gimp. So, I've been enjoying myself in other ways.....
It's been nice, pretending that football is over and I only have the NBA to worry about, but it's not real. But all I've really been doing is distracting myself from the one game season that awaits on Sunday. Call me crazy, but I still wouldn't be surprised to see the Giants in the NFC championship game if they can win this weekend. Yes, I know the Saints and the Vikings play in the NFC. But, if they can't win this weekend, Big Blue won't even see the postseason. The stakes are that high. I can't think about it. I just need to wait for it, and then experience it. Thank god for Florida Alabama tomorrow. Without it, this matchup with Dallas would consume me.
I've been hooked on Barstool Sports NY ever since it was launched. No site captures the emotions I feel pre and post Giants game more accurately, win or lose. Today, Scott gives us this masterpiece, which sums up exactly how I feel:
"I feel like Hillary Clinton right now. Because no matter how many different vaginas the Giants slide a cigar into, I’m standing by them no matter what. Through thick and thin. Good times and bad. So they can fuck all the fat interns they want, bottom line is that in the NFL, the best teams in the beginning of December are rarely the teams still standing at the end of January. And thats about all I have to hold onto at this point. And because even with Bradshaw questionable, the entire offensive line banged up, the season-long disappearance of Osi and Tuck, Eli’s foot problems, whothefuckknowswhat with Jacobs, the secondary’s weekly toasting, Pierce’s season-ending injury, and Bill Sheridan’s last few weeks as an employee of the New York Giants, there is not a bizarro world fucked up enough where I would ever pick the Cowboys over the Giants. Because I hate the fucking Cowboys and I never want to see that redneck dickhead Jerry Jones win anything."
Amen. You'd be hardpressed to find a scripture more powerful than that anywhere throughout recorded history. For the next three days, this is my rallying cry.
Forcing 25 turnovers, holding the Raps to 17 in the third, KG 6-6 from the floor, Perk 8-8 from the floor, under 30 minutes for KG, 35 minutes for Pierce, 34 minutes for Ray, all 5 starters in double figures...
Oh yeah, and this, the exact moment that the swagger returned:
DETROIT +11 over Green Bay: What type of a person would I be if I picked any differently? I am certainly not advising you to lay down any money here. But, I think it's safe to say that all Americans outside of Wisconsin will be rooting for the Lions tomorrow.
Oakland +13.5 over DALLAS: Dallas hasn't had much time to regroup after their win that felt like a loss over Washington on Sunday, and Oakland is probably feeling pretty good about themselves after knocking off Cincinnati. Now, Oakland is much worse away from the black hole, but I just don't think the Cowboys are capable of blowing anybody out. I like Tony Romo to struggle against a stout secondary. The Cowboys win, but not by two touchdowns.
NY Giants -7 over DENVER: Denver is regressing to the mean as we speak. This is not a playoff team. They were playing over their heads for a long time. On the other hand, I think the Giants are back where they should be. I actually think, special teams aside, that they played a great game against San Diego up until the final minute, when they clearly felt as if they already had the outcome in hand. Eli Manning returned to his early season form on Sunday against Atlanta, and it wasn't just a matter of the Falcons secondary being woeful. For the most part, they had good positioning on the Giants receivers. Eli was fitting the ball into small windows where only his receivers could get it. Manningham, Nicks, Boss, and Steve Smith are growing more confident every week. I know this is a night game in Denver, and I might be letting my fandom get the best of me, but I really don't think so. The G-Men are back.
Indianapolis -3.5 over HOUSTON: Indy might lose a game this season, and my pick will be wrong that week. I won't pick against them.
CINCINNATI -14 over Cleveland: I don't expect the Bengals to take Sunday's loss lightly. They've done more than enough to earn our respect up until this point, but I think this team feels the pressure of doubters every week. As for the Browns, Brady Quinn is certainly looking like the future. But, he's more of a next year or the year after that future. Certainly not a this season future. They may not win another game this season, but hopefully his improvement can be something that they can hang their hats on in the offseason.
MINNESOTA -11 over Chicago: The Vikings very well could be the NFL's best team. There's really no way to definitively separate the teams at the top, but this team can just get you in every way possible. They are very scary.
Washington +9 over PHILADELPHIA: The Redskins have been tougher lately. They are really showing some resolve. I'm not sure if they are trying to play for Jim Zorn, or if they are simply just starting to gel. The performances of Ladell Betts and Rock Cartwright over the past two weeks certainly don't reflect very well on Clinton Portis. But, it does mean that maybe he doesn't need to be the workhorse next season if Betts is able to recover from this knee injury. Splitting up the carries between the three next year could be a much more effective approach, as it would keep Portis more fresh. Even with Betts out and Portis in question, I like the Skins to keep it close. They won't win, though.
Miami -3 over BUFFALO: For the first time in my life, I can't get enough of watching the Miami Dolphins. Can we please get some more love for Ricky Williams? People can say what they want about his off the field actions, but we here at roomofzen have never held it against him. I know nothing about what it is like to be a major celebrity who has been diagnosed with clinical depression and social anxiety disorder. I would imagine it's difficult. I also believe that people are allowed to think that their job sucks. On the field, this guy is everything that you could ever want in a player. He is the ultimate workhorse. I don't think I've ever seen a guy more overworked than he was in Miami in his first go-round and he never seemed to wear down. Because the Dolphins run so much, people are worried that Ricky won't be able to take on the primary back responsibilities on his own. Well, he's done it before. And, he seems healthier and happier now than he ever was then. I think he'll be fine.
TENNESSEE -2 over Arizona: Are people really that surprised that Vince Young is playing well? I mean, I didn't think he was a sure thing to play well this season, but by no means had I written him off completely. People forget that he played in the pro bowl his rookie year. The ability has always been there. He just had to fix his head. If you want to see an example of a guy doing that, see above (Ricky Williams) or see the 36 year old quarterback who led the titans to the playoffs last season in Young's absence.
ST. LOUIS +3 over Seattle: Call me crazy. Kyle Boller is under center, and Steven Jackson will be limited with a sprained lower back. But I just have a feeling. That Seattle defense has not been great lately.
ATLANTA -12 over Tampa Bay: The Falcons impressed me on Sunday. Curtis Snelling is the real deal. I think Josh Freeman is too, but it's going to take a while.
NY JETS -3 over Carolina: I don't care about this game.
SAN FRANCISCO -3 Jacksonville: The Jags don't travel well, which is not something I'd expect from a team who never has any fans at its games. The last time they went West, Seattle hung 41 on them.
SAN DIEGO -13.5 over Kansas City: Whatever man. I guess San Diego doesn't suck at football the way they suck at life. The Chiefs aren't going to win three in a row.
BALTIMORE -2.5 over Pittsburgh: I didnt watch Pittsburgh on Sunday, so it was really weird to turn on ESPN and have them say "Steelers quarterback Charlie Batch is out for the season with a broken wrist" while they showed him taking snaps. They didn't mention anything about him being in because of roethlisberger's concussion. I felt like I was in a time warp. Was it 2003? 2005? What the hell was going on. I didn't even know Charlie Batch was still in the league.
New England +3 over NEW ORLEANS: The Patriots are really good. I feel extremely confident about this one.
The story says that KG was at a commercial shoot at Conseco Fieldhouse this summer, and when he was asked by a Pacers assistant on his way out to meet the Pacers rookies Tyler Hansborough and AJ Price he responded by saying "Fuck your rookies!" and walking out.
I love this story. Unless by "meet" this assistant coach met "have sex with their wives", I'm not exactly sure what he was expecting. People can hate KG all they want, but I stick to my guns that he hasn't changed a bit. He's always been this way, and he was appreciated for it when he was in Minnesota. The only thing that's changed is the quality of his teammates and the size of the market he plays in. People can say what they want, they wish they had guys like this on their team.
Cs at Magic tonight. Fuck their rookies too....and their veterans....and their ron jeremy look alike coach.
And, as if you needed more, don't forget that the world's greatest band will be playing at the Middle East on Saturday night (I know I've posted the Gnashing several times lately...I guess sometimes a song does that to you):
Baroness will be coming back around again this Saturday (11/21) at the Middle East in Cambridge. People get sick of us plugging no band but this one, but I am unphased. In a perfect world, this would be the highest grossing tour in history. I can honestly say that there isn't a show I can think of that I would see over them. Obviously, you should be there.
This Walmart commercial is, hands down, one of the funniest I've seen in a while:
They have good editors, because this extended version feels extremely forced and unfunny:
Somehow seeing that extended version makes me appreciate the shorter one less. The creative vision here was clearly a failure in terms of comedy. But somehow, through editing, they seemed to have fallen ass backwards into something funny. What more can you expect from a company that only sells censored CDs?
Watching Philip Rivers, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Shawne Merriman triumph over the Giants in the meadowlands in the final minute on Sunday felt like being neutered. I haven't been able to watch or talk about football since it happened. Hopefully, I'll be able to bring myself back this weekend. And, more importantly, hopefully the Giants will pull themselves back together. There couldn't be a more aptly timed bye.
NY JETS -7 over Jacksonville: You can officially bury whichever team loses here. I'm assuming (as I'm hoping the Giants will do this week) that the Jets were able to find their early season form over their bye week. I like them at home in this one.
Denver -3.5 over WASHINGTON: Apparently that Steelers victory made quite an impression on Vegas. Only 3.5? That wouldn't be enough even if Clinton Portis were playing.....which he's not.
PITTSBURGH -7 over Cincinnati: There is no way the Bengals beat Pittsburgh twice this year.
TENNESSEE -7 Buffalo: I said in my week 1 picks that I really thought this Tennessee team was good, especially on defense. I still feel that, personnel wise, they are very talented. Now that they've got some positive momentum, I like them to win their third straight this weekend at home. Perhaps the biggest nonstory in this one is that we're still not sure whether or not TO will play due to his injured hip.
MINNESOTA -17 over Detroit: This line is really steep, and I'd love to take the Lions. BUT, how can I go against the Vikings coming off of a bye week? I can't. But, I really wouldn't feel good laying it down on these 17 points. I'm looking forward to Detroit on Thanksgiving.
NEW ORLEANS -13.5 over St. Louis: The Saints have shown that they can spot good teams double digit points and come back to win. They won't get behind against St. Louis, which means we're looking at complete destruction.
Atlanta -1.5 over CAROLINA: Pass.
Tampa Bay +10 over MIAMI: What a great surprise it was to see the creamsicle uniforms resurfacing. I love those uniforms. I think the pirate on the helmet is badass, and the colors are great. I also like what we saw from Josh Freeman, and I think he and Chad Henne will have a close matchup this weekend.
OAKLAND -2 over Kansas City: The Chiefs have played teams tough on a more consistent basis. But, all logic goes out the window when the Raiders are at home, where they've given San Diego a run for their money and have also beaten the Eagles.
ARIZONA -8.5 Seattle: I really thought that this Seattle team was going to be, at least, as good as the Cards. But, clearly, I misread that one (keep in mind, I also said "I like how this Browns team is built" in week 1).
Philadelphia +1.5 over SAN DIEGO: This is how much I hate the Chargers. The Eagles are coming off a tough loss. They got spanked last time they went out West. So, I think they'll be especially motivated. On top of that, everyone hates Philip Rivers, and I don't think the Eagles are immune to that. They won't let this happen.
DALLAS -3 over Green Bay: Dallas seems to be really hitting their stride. They should be pretty tough to beat from here on out, setting us up perfectly for another epic late season choke.
New England +3 over Indy: The Colts have to lose at some point, and this is the opponent best armed to take them down. Bill Belichick knows what to do.
Baltimore -11 over CLEVELAND: I'll be surprised if there isn't a riot in the stands at the end of this one.
George Plimpton joined the 1963 Detroit Lions in training camp at age 36. This was after his failure to catch on with the New York Giants, Washington Redskins and New York Titans (for some reason that sounds better than Tennessee Titans). You have to admire his persistence. Though he wanted to be treated exactly like any player, his "teammates" figured out pretty quickly that he was a reporter in disguise. His only appearance (an inter squad scrimmage) was disastrous, as he lost 30+ yards in his one series as the team's quarterback.
It is a well-written book in which the Phillips Exeter, Harvard and Kings College (Cambridge) educated Plimpton does not change anything about his style or speech. It was even difficult for him to swear. Of course the Lions picked up on this and had a ton of fun at his expense. The key however, was that Plimpton had almost unlimited access to both players and coaches. And unlike the disappointing Patriot Reign (I feel strongly about this) Paper Lion delivers. Some points before you head off to get the book:
- This was before television transformed football into big time, year round business. Some guys still had jobs in the off-season.
- Weight lifting and conditioning were still in their early stages.
- Paper Lion is a certain generation's The Jordan Rules. In both cases, even people who don't read a ton, love them.
- Night Train Lane. Just a fascinating guy. One of the best corners ever, somewhat enigmatic and holder of a freaking awesome nickname. Furthermore, the "Coach is that a 2 door or a 4 door?" anecdote is pure gold.
- 1963 was the season that Alex Karras was suspended for gambling. He was an excellent defensive lineman and a character as well. Plimpton did a follow up chapter where he outlined a visit with Karras. Karras talked about past lives (worked for Hitler amongst others) and other off the wall observations. Then in the quasi sequel - Mad Ducks and Bears - Karras put any quirky modern athlete to shame. His foray into the sex toy business was legendary. Having said that you might know him better as "that guy from Webster".
- Plimpton had an interesting life to say the least. In addition to his education he drove a tank in World War II and was a prolific writer. His Sidd Finch article would be a career in and of itself for a lot of writers. And on top of all that Plimpton was friends with Robert Kennedy from their time at Harvard. He, along with another man, tackled Sirhan Sirhan to the ground after Kennedy's assassination. What didn't Plimpton do?
"only thing worse than watching that fucking trash talking cocky pussy who’s never won an important game in his life and the roided out woman beating has-been freakshow celebrate on our field is watching the season literally go down the tubes. Hey congratulations on your first sack in 2 years asshole. Fuck the Chargers."
I'm taking the week off as Bad Newz Kennels is in the midst of a New York Giants style slide (sorry Nick) right now. And it coincides exactly with me posting about the league. So call this my bye week. However, I will throw something more substantial up next week - win, lose or tie.
