Foil in the Oven

So it's Christmas Eve, and I know that there are a lot of you reading this who are stressed out because you still have a lot of Christmas shopping to do and not much time or money left with which to do it. So, we thought that we'd bring you Foil in the Oven a little early this week in order to offer some great gift ideas to help you make this the best Christmas ever.

Do you know someone who loves to play basketball, but has never been able to make their school's varsity team because they are too slow, clumsy, and unathletic? Why not change their life by suprising them with the Full Court Basketball Professional Basketball Drills DVD starring Brian Scalabrine of the Boston Celtics. With the 11 drills shown in this video, and a lot of hard work, your recipient will learn how to move, shoot, and handle the rock just like Scal.


Do you know somebody who has been trying desperately for years to lose weight but just can't seem to find the right program? Wouldn't you like to help them find a program that is fun, easy, and effective? Well, it's the season for giving, so why not help them by giving them Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease Collection? Carmen, a pillar of strength and dignity in a world in which young girls have so few truly positive role models, is quickly becoming one of the most watched and sought after members of the fitness community. The person you buy this for will love it, and we promise, they won't resent you at all. In fact, you may want to purchase a copy for yourself to help shed a few pounds after the holidays. Just make sure to keep it away from the kids, or else their video could be next (and it's not going to be about exercising).

There are amazing things happening right now in the field of glow-in-the-dark technology and you don't want your friends and family to be behind the times. So, it's important that you purchase at least one piece of glow-in-the-dark apparel for your friends and family. Your best bet is probably this glow-in the dark t-shirt with a motorcycle, eagle, and flames. The themes are timeless and yet so fresh. The design is complex and yet so simple. The feel is so American and yet so European and non-Eurocentric at the same time. This really is the perfect gift for anybody in the world.


Meat is always a great present. In fact, I really believe that there is no present quite like really great food. This is especially true when giving nice expensive cuts of meat. What better present could there be than a cooler full of Omaha steaks? Unfotunatly, a good cut of steak can empty your bank account pretty quickly. But, we've got the solution for you right here. This Christmas, you can save yourself a ton of money by introducing your family and friends to the exciting and mysterious world of exotic meats. For less than 12 dollars a pound, your family can stuff their mouths with kangaroo sausage.




I know what you're thinking. These ideas are alright, but you want something that will really leave your friends and family speechless. Well, man, if you really want to leave them speechless, here are a few more ideas:

1) "The Other Woman: My Years With O.J. Simpson" by Paula Barbieri. Now you and your family can read all about what it's like to be romantically involvd with OJ Simpson and not have him kill you. Now available on amazon.com starting as low as 4.94

2) A framed print commemorating Barry Bonds' 715th home run. Perfect for the baseball fan in your life. A bargain at allposters.com. Just listen to that reaction......."Oh!......Barry Bonds!....I......love him."

3) A membership to the Pickle of the Month Club . It's the perfect gift for the pickle enthusiast (which is basically everybody).

4) A pole dancing kit is the perfect thing to help bring that "strip club" vibe to any home or workplace. This one comes with an instructional DVD and can be assembled or broken down in three minutes.

and finally....

5) "Train Wreck: The Life and Death of Anna Nicole Smith". Just look at the cover and tell me that you wouldn't want to open this on Christmas morning. I believe the book comes with a life time prescription of valium........."Great!.....Wow......Well, I am going to read this.....Definately....I am definately going to READ THIS."

Final Exit, sick.



I spent the first two drives of the Giants' game screaming at my television in a state of disbelief about how a team with so much at stake could be so flat. However, after Donte Whitner laid out Jeff Feagles (I was appaled by this. Feagles is a man's man among punters. He is the greatest of all time. He is the Wayne Gretzky of punters) the Giants had all the motivation they needed. They never looked back. Brandon Jacobs and rookie Ahmad Bradshaw (who scored an 88 yard TD) were sensational in the run game and Amani Toomer made some huge catches in less than ideal conditions. I can't say the same for Steve Smith, who dropped a sure touchdown just before halftime. It wasn't pretty, but the Giants are going to the playoffs. 5 weeks ago, I was amped about the oppurtunity for the Giants to give the Patriots everything they had in an attempt to foil New England's perfect season. But, we've made things too hard on ourselves for me to even worry about that game. Hopefully the Giants will just rest Plaxico Burress and whoever else needs it in an attempt to get ready for a postseason run.

Merry Christmas.