'Tis The Season For Interesting Carl's

Well, in the spirit of the season I decided that ROOMOFZEN would undertake some sort of charitable effort in an attempt to give back to our community (which by my best estimation numbers around 7, give or take 4). I looked into several possibilities including purchasing a goat for a cambodian family, but let's be honest goats are so passe. However, it occurred to me that real charity begins at home, or close to home. I thought about my family and closest friends. It immediately occurred to me that if I was going to do something good for someone I know than I should probably help out my old college roommate who dutifully shared a room with me for three years. There was a time when I was on crutches after a devastating Achilles tear that occurred during the semifinals of the Bowdoin intramural hoops playoffs. Although my team won the game, they were unable to pull off a victory in the finals. I watched from the sidelines fighting back tears and praying that god would strike me dead where I sat (note: this last sentence is strictly an abuse of poetic license). There are many things that people take for granted when they have two legs. For example, try to light a bag of shit on someones doorstep and then run away. The thing is, you can't. Well, this guy really stepped up for me and helped me get my food in a dining hall so this holiday season I am going to return the favor and help him get some food, although he may not really need it.

About a week or so ago, in an outreach attempt by ROOMOFZEN to expand our audience and make some sort of use of our email address (roomofzen@gmail.com) I sent out a couple emails to places and people after doing a google search of "Carl". (At the time I thought I might be able to spin some kind of blog off of communications with guys name Carl but upon further review the project failed, partly because of lack of effort on my part, and partly because not many of the "Carl's" that I contacted responded, but life goes on. Also, it is possible that some of the residual effects of..ahem...college, may have made this seem like a good idea lets leave it at that) Anyway there was a silver lining...and hence this posting.

In my search for interesting Carl's I came across the website for Carl's Jr Restaurants. This is a fast food chain from the western US. I have, to the best of my knowledge, never seen one or eaten one of their famous $6 Burgers. I penned the following email under the cleverly crafted alias "Chris Stratton":

To Whom it may Concern,

I recently had the pleasure of dining in one of your Fine restaurants and I must say I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of service, food, and ambience. I am originally from the east coast and I am curous as to whether or not you plan to open any restuarants out there. It would be great to enjoy the $6 hamburger in Massachusetts.
God Bless,

Chris Stratton

I receieved an automated response a short while later but after a few days I began to give up hope. But then, this afternoon after I had just finished beating the Rams in the Superbowl 20-7 in year one of my Madden 2006 Franchise, in which Monty Beisel played a pivotal role recording 7 tackles, 2 sacks, and an interception, I decided to check our ROOMOFZEN email. Lo and behold...A new message that didn't have to do with the exciting new features of Gmail! I held my breath and clicked:

Dear Mr. Stratton:

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us. Our goal is to make our guests happy--every guest, every time! Your comments have been forwarded to our management team for their review and consideration.

Because your opinions and comments are important to us, we would like you to have a Buy One Item, Get One Free coupon for The Original Six Dollar Burger, a Famous Star with cheese, a Charbroiled BBQ Chicken Sandwich, a Charbroiled Chicken Salad or a Loaded Breakfast Burrito. If you would, please reply to this email providing us with your mailing address so that we may send you the coupon.

Please feel free to contact us again at any time.

Sincerely,

Shaina

Just like that, the perfect Christmas gift was dropped into my lap in the form of a buy one get one free coupon. Over the next few days I will somehow obtain the address of one "Chris Stratton" and have them mail the coupon to him, just in time for Christmas. Man, its good to get into the spirit of things. (If you're wondering, that's Paris Hilton wielding a Carl's Jr $6 Burger, perhaps the most ingenious marketing ploy I've seen in the last 48 hours) And, just to let you know the only other thing interesting thing I came across in my search for Interesting Carl's was an Obituary posting for a Canadian guy named Carl Smith in which those attending his funeral should wear "Black only as a fashion statement. Hawaiin shirts strongly encouraged." I'm stealing that one.

Other Things I've Been Thinking About:

In an unsurprising display of solidarity on the issue of Johan Santana, I have to totally agree with LaRocque. I like Jacoby Ellsbury as much as the next guy, maybe not in the same way as my girlfriend does, but I consider myself a fan. I would let him and Lester walk to lock Santana up for the next 5 or 6 years. From what I've heard on talk radio there are even packages being discussed that DON'T include Buchholtz and Ellsbury...then again there were also rumors floated on talk radio that left Al Jefferson out of the Kevin Garnet deal...so lets not be hasty. If the sox can land Johan that is great, if they can land him and keep 2 out of 3 of Lester, Buchholtz, and Ellsbury, than that is amazing, and I will shave my chest.

I have been really struggling to put my feelings into words following the Patriot's win on Monday Night. I actually found myself nervous throughout the second half and said to nobody in particular "I'm actually nervous". This is the first time that this phrase has entered my head this entire season. I guess I need to prepare myself for actual competitive close games. I had forgotten that there really is some parity left in the NFL. The Ravens were obviously jacked up to play this game..and it showed. This may have come back to hurt them in the long run...you can't find a more composed team in professional sports right now than the New England Patriots. As I watched Kyle Boller throw a horrible interception to kill a drive deep in Pats territory I said, "I won't be surprised if he doesn't complete another pass all year after that.", and for the most part I was right. It was just amazing to watch one thing after another go the Patriots way. The timeout on 4th and 1 (Who didn't see that QB sneak coming?! Who Thought that it was a good time for it?!), the offsides on the Pats, and the inevitable QB scramble for the first down. I won't say that the officials helped the Pats, they made the right calls and even missed a blatant offensive Pass Interference call on the last play of the game on Derrick Mason (Seriosly, what can be done about the officials in the NFL? Terrible, absolutely terrible.) If that play is in the endzone and the Ravens win there would have been a sudden spike in violent crimes across New England and I might have slapped my own mother.

I think that this Pittsburgh game is going to be pretty exciting, and on another note I am very glad that I wont have to stay up until 12am to watch the end of a game for the first time in 3 weeks. I still don't see how the Pats could lose to the Steelers, at home, in December. I would have said that maybe if it was a wet, sloppy game than Pittsburgh might have a chance but they only beat Miami 3-0 in the rain last week, which was maybe the worst game ever on Monday Night which is saying something because the 49ers also played on Monday Night this season. I'm just not that impressed by Roethlisberger, something about him seems very Matt Clement to me, not sure why.

And finally, here is an arbitrary picture of Kirby Puckett, I always remember him having larger than normal quads. Thank you and god speed.