The Babcock Report: IV

Straight Cash Homey...
This has been a tough couple of days for me. Much of the positive excitement surrounding this weeks inevitable dismantling of the San Diego Chargers has been disrupted by the breaking story involving Randy Moss and some woman in Florida. I'm no legal expert, and do not claim to be, in fact I have no real credibility when it comes to obeying the law (although I do pay my taxes and frequently come to a full stop at stop signs). This whole story just doesn't sit right with me.

First, I admit, I am a Randy Moss fan and therefor inherently biased in this issue. And I think that is ok. Isn't that what being a fan is about? It allows you to be irrational for no other reason than some guy plays for a sports team that you happen to like. This is why people in San Diego still root for Shawn Merriman even though he got busted for steroids; this is why I root for Rodney Harrison because he was falsely accused of purchasing HGH. See what I mean?

A little anecdote...I was vacationing in San Francisco a few weeks ago and my girlfriend and I and my buddy and his girlfriend were sitting in a bar chatting with some locals. Upon hearing that we were from the Boston area the conversation immediately turned to sports. This one guy who, to his credit, looked exactly like the Dude (I mean exactly) told me that he had been to Fenway park while the Giants were visiting. He explained to me, that as a hardcore Giants fan, he had no problems rooting for Barry Bonds. He went on to say that while at said game he turned to a Red Sox fan who was at the game with his kid and said, 'Hey man, its really great that you brought you're kid to see the greatest baseball player who ever lived play baseball." He told me that the guy turned to him and said "Go Fuck Yourself", and then proceeded to call some wierd hotline that you can call to have people removed from Fenway Park. An inning later he was escorted from his seat and from the stadium. I guess the point, if you can call it that, is that I actually sympathized with this guy. As fans we are all allowed to possess our own opinions about individual athletes. Sure I hate Barry Bonds with a passion, I think he has cheated baseball and baseball fans. There are some people who believe that he is the best thing to ever happen to the sport. I can see why someone would think I was a hypocrite because I like Rodney Harrison. And maybe I am, I know I still sleep at night. I could go on with this for days, I know, but you get the point.

So back to Moss. Acknowledging my inherent bias because I am a Patriots/Moss fan, I have a few observations. First, this whole thing does seem to reek of blackmail ala Kobe Bryant (I admit I openly proclaimed Kobe's guilt, at one point in time I even posessed a T-Shirt that read : KOBE IS A SCUMBAG, of this, I am proud.) The fact that Moss knew this woman for 11 years is interesting. The fact that there was apparently a concious decision to release the story at this particular point in time, AND the fact that there was apparently a request for money to keep the story quiet from the woman prior to its release. In addition, I found that the fact that Randy Moss came out immediately and held an impromptu press conference, in which he did not read a rehersed statement, really swung me (further) to his side. This openess with the media and willingness to talk to the press and fans without being forced to or waiting while the story festers in the public domain (Roger Clemens) makes Moss' side of the story, although vague, more believable.

Next, and on a funnier note (I think), I heard on Sports Radio WEEI's Dennis and Callahan show this morning that a source in Florida claims that the injury in question here occurred while Moss and this woman were, and I quote, "Vigorously enjoying each others company." You can't make that up...wait yes you could...but lets run with this...So, you might have a restraining order being taken out for a sex injury? And, the body part in question is a hand. There are definitely a few "Spreading the defense" and "Deep threat" jokes to be made here, but I digress, my mother actually reads this blog.

BUT...what kind of effect will this have on the Patriots? My guess = NONE. Is there a more media Savvy organization, top to bottom, than the New England Patriots? In this season alone they have dealt with the acquisition of Moss, Camera-gate, Rodney Harrison's (phony) HGH suspension, The death of a teammate (Marquis Hill), and a quarterback with a bastard child and a foreign super-model girlfriend. Nothing distracts them. They are like Drago training in that wierd Russian workout laboratory in Rocky 4: methodical, angry and sweaty. If none of those things have derailed this magnificent locomotive of football awesomeness, than what, in the name of all that is pure and good in this world, could? A freaky sex injury? Doubtful. Moss has been such a model teammate and player this year and I would hate for there to be any kind of tarnish on the amazing season that he has had for the Pats.

When Fans Attack
Here's a disturbing story about a Packers fan who restrained his 7 year old son with tape for an hour and then taped a Packers jersey to the boy after he refused to wear the jersey. Moments after the story's release the man was given the key to the city of Green Bay for outstanding cheeseheadship. Also, this story wins the award for "Most Arbitrary Fine Amount" as the man was forced to pay $186 to get out of jail after his arrest. In a striking show of solidarity, the man's wife followed in the footsteps of Moss' accuser and took out a restraining order on the man. No word on whether the Jersey involved was either Dorsey Levens or Mark Chmura.

It should be noted that I have just reread the previous paragraph and I realize that it may seem like I am a heartless human being.

So, as a feel-good follow up story...feast your souls on this. The young girl who represented the Patriots in the NFLs Punt, Pass, and Kick competition last sunday in Indianapolis will be brought out onto the field at Gillette Stadium this Sunday for the coin toss and also received tickets to the game for her friends and family from Robert Kraft himself. If you recall, Colts fans booed her when she was announced on the field during halftime last week. Karma is a bitch Indy!

Homage
If you have never seen the Gary Gaetti Cult of 514 Cottonwood, Grand Forks, ND webpage, you really need to check it out. I stop by from time to time for the sick music (crank up your speakers) and outstanding collection of Gaetti memorabilia and folk-lore. This is America at its best. I often stop by here for motivation, although I am not sure what for.

Final Thoughts...
Today, in a rare moment of nostalgia, I recalled that when I was in middle school and playing on a travel basketball team we used to warm up to the Wutang Clan's 36 Chambers album. I wish I had footage of a bunch of white kids from Newburyport, MA warming up to Protect Ya Neck, and C.R.E.A.M (Cash Rules Everything Around Me). I'm not actually sure why our parents allowed it. I guess, as is the case with all winning teams (we were nasty, for suburban middle school kids) people let things slide while you are putting up W's (no pun intended).



This song really encapsulates my youth...actually no not at all. BUT, this is one of the best rap albums ever. Continuing with my WuTang tangent, the following scene is from Jim Jarmusch's film Coffee and Cigarettes and it features the RZA the GZA and Bill Murray. Basically the whole movie is just scenes of famous people having coffee and cigarettes, theres nothing more to it, really. However, I did rent it once and this just stuck in my head, I think its pretty funny, then again I'm a wierdo.



And finally, a little kick in the ass: