Babcock is living the good life in Los Angeles, watching games 3 hours early. So, I'm back, and hoping to improve. Rhyming seemed to bring him a lot of success, so I've tried to make all my picks in rhyme. It won't be as good as him, but I've tried.
Tough week. I count two good games, and I expect the favorites to clean house (despite the big lines).
Here we go:
Minnesota -10 over ST. LOUIS:
Clearly I was wrong: this Brett Favre hype was not fake
What a huge difference a good line and a great back can make
Who would have guessed that at night after he pulls down the drapes
Jon Gruden beats off to old Brett Favre practice tapes
Dallas -8.5 over KANSAS CITY:
I couldn't be happier about how things have gone for America's Team
Seeing Tony Romo playing so badly feels like a dream
Kansas City is a good place for people to turn their luck
But no matter how many TDs Tony throws on Sunday, the Cowboys still suck
BALTIMORE -8.5 over Cincy:
Over the past few years I've grown extremely tired
of trying to figure out what it will take for Marvin Lewis to be fired
Sure, right now wins are up and arrests are down
But will that be enough after the Ravens pound the Bengals into the ground?
CAROLINA -3.5 over Washington:
The Redskins may as well be 0-4
They almost lost to both the Rams and Bucs, and what's more...
They lost in Detroit, something no team has done in years
If I were a Skins fan, I'd find Dan Snyder and cut off his ears
TAMPA BAY +15 over Philadelphia:
It was pretty easy for me to pick
that a shitty organization like the Eagles would take a chance on Mike Vick
Killing dogs and racketeering just sounds like foolish fun
compared to some of the shit that Andy Reid's kids have done
Cleveland +6 over BUFFALO:
The only part of this game I can really respect is the fans who put up with this shit
Braylon Edwards gone to an already shitty offense is a pretty big hit
Year after year, fans of both these teams cheer hard, even in the cold
And yet their teams always suck dick, it must be starting to get old
Steelers -10.5 over DETROIT:
I hope Lions fans enjoyed that win, because it may not happen again
Certainly they have no shot this weekend against Big Ben
His team is back on track, and he looked great against the Bolts
In fact, I think the only guys better than him are Drew Brees and #18 for the Colts
GIANTS -14.5 over Oakland:
Eli's Plantar Fasciitis made me feel very sad
Because I remember in 2007 when it made Kendrick Perkins play bad
But even if Carr is in, the offense still cruises
and Osi, Tuck, and Pierce will cover Jamarcus Russell in bruises
NINERS -2.5 over Atlanta (lock of the week):
The Falcons are good, I certainly feel
But this thing the Niners have going is real
Giving less than three at home, this is my lock
If they blow this one, Mike Singletary might show the whole team his cock
BRONCOS +3 over Patriots:
To Randy Moss, Champ Bailey has always been a pest
And I couldn't be happier that Brian Dawkins decided to move West
He put a dirty hit on Ike Hilliard, and I have never forgotten
After this game, Vince Wilfork's jockstrap will smell really rotten
Houston +5.5 over ARIZONA:
Both of these teams look different every week
Some days they're really good, some days they're weak
Kurt Warner in the Super Bowl again? I think it not
But, he can thank God for the greatest miracle of all: making his wife suddenly hot
SEATTLE over Jacksonville (pick em):
I'm sure it will be another packed house at Qwest
Fans at the games - The Jags will be impressed
Nobody ever comes to see them, they're blacked out every day
On this pick em game, no money should you lay
Indy -4 over TITANS:
It sure looks LenDale White must be back on the sauce
The Titans without a win- I'm at a loss
Avoid the Tennessee betting trap, there is no turnaround in sight
Only a fool would bet against Peyton Manning on a Sunday or Monday night
Jets -2 over DOLPHINS:
Even on the road I like the Jets here
Miami's wildcat is something the Jet's defense does not fear
After the game, Mark Sanchez will probably sleep with many a Miami Dolphin dancer
Don't get too excited Jets fans....on the way is a locker room cancer
COLLEGE PICK OF THE WEEK
LSU +7.5 over Florida:
"A win is a win" is the cliche I normally expect
from these experts who refuse to give the Tigers respect
History tells me LSU is good, and Tebow may be out....the feeling is right
for an upset in Death Valley on Saturday night.
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