In the second edition of our "from the road" series, I come to you from the Homestead Studio Suites in Shelton, CT. This cozy little place will be my home for the next three weeks, and as such, will be the epicenter of several posts about several things that have been on my mind as of late. So far, I have found the ambience and amenities to be vastly superior than my last temporary abode, the Tides Motel. Some of you may remember that from an earlier post. I learned a few things at the Tides and it has served me well in my selection of the Homestead suites. For example, where I had a small table and two chairs at the tides, I now have a small kitchen, a couch, and a full sized refrigerator...live and learn.
It got me thinking...How come there has never been an official congressional investigation into the use of steroids by American Gladiators? If you watch those old shows, and I highly suggest that you do, there is a perfect example of roid rage every 23 seconds. But you know what? It is great. Even if the integrity of a given "Hang Tough" segment was marginalized by competitors use of performance enhancing drugs, it still kicked ass 100% of the time. I would argue that not only should steroid use by the Gladiators be allowed, it should be required. How else would you get such an amazing combination of abnormally large foreheads, spandex, and mullets? The answer is simple..you can't.
If you check out the Biographies of some of the orginal gladiators you will be pleasantly surprised. Take for example Deron McBee, aka "Malibu". I did a little research and discovered that this guy not only competed on American Gladiators but also had an extensive career in Hollywood appearing in such cinematic gems as Mortal Kombat and Out For Blood, he has even appeared in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiam. The internet is so badass. I was able to harness its amazing powers to extract this gem from the information superhighway:
"McBee states that he has produced his impressive physique by abstaining from steroids and using a combination of prayer and faith. Discerning fans will also note from the DVD cover of that film (The Killing Zone) that McBee has one nipple slightly higher than the other." Also, he toured on the professional raquetball circuit for 3 years. You can't make that shit up.
These are the things that occupy your mind in an extended stay hotel.
Also, I received via email an article about the world's smallest body builder from an old college buddy. He is pictured below:
What more can you say but...AWESOME!
Also, the following video should accurately reflect my emotions regarding the Patriots at this point in time. Farewell, from Shelton, CT.
2 comments:
I always enjoyed the American Gladiator episodes that had ex NFL players as the contestants because it was not only entertaining, but it also added an air of legitimacy to the whole proceeding. I think it was in Break Through and Conquer that Daniel Craig absolutely knocked the shit out of Nitro, who was my most hated gladiator by the way. Malibu was such a turd, but the fact that he was a professional raquetballer raised him a few points in my book. Lace is one of the most stunning beauties the world has ever seen, that bitch could start wars.
someone needs to comment on the new episodes with hulk - if only they cut out the interviews, especially with the chick announcer
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