The Dude Abides

It’s hard to deal with any number of life's unfortunate events/developments such as theft, pink slips, sickness, death, etc. Yet outside of the major ones they are often not as bad as we make them out to be. And if that is not solace enough step back and consider how many bad things happened to the Dude in the Big Lebowski. One disclaimer. This is really for people who have seen the movie, as I imagine most ROOMOFZEN readers have. And if you haven't, well it's been 10 years. You've had time.

1. He was jumped from behind in his apartment due to a case of mistaken identity, forced into the bathroom, and had his head dunked in the toilet four times while the intruder interrogated him.

2. Woo urinated on his rug.

3. Woo’s associate dropped the Dude’s bowling ball, breaking a few tiles in the bathroom. It's a testament to the list that this one is weak and probably does not deserve a mention.

4. The Dude stole a rug from Jeffrey Lebowski.

5. Bunny Lebowski propositioned the Dude for $1000 before Brandt ushered him out.

6. The Dude sat helplessly as Walter pulled a gun and threatened Smokey over a bowling dispute.

7. Due to a complaint filed by Smokey the league opened an investigation into said gun incident.

8. The Dude accepted a job as a courier in the Bunny Lebowski kidnapping fiasco.

9. He attended a bowling practice only to get threatened, along with his teammates, by a convicted sex offender – Jesus.

10. Was knocked out by a man wearing short blue jean shorts who was accompanied by a woman (Maude Lebowski) and another man. Awoke to find the stolen rug gone and his jaw sore.

11. Botched the ransom hand off due to Walter’s insistence on incorporating a ringer.

12. Walter rolled out of the Dude’s car, dropped his Uzi, and then watched it spin around in a circle. The Uzi shot out both taillights and possibly a tire as well before the car crashed into a tree.

13. Someone stole the Dude’s car.

14. Met with police officers in his home to discuss the stolen car and rug – separate incidents – only to learn via a voice mail that Maude Lebowski had taken the rug.

15. Went to Maude’s house where she was suspended from the ceiling, naked, painting, and listening to a woman chant and sing. While there he watched the start of Logjammin, and was offered $100,000 to retrieve the $1 million.

16. Driven home where he learned a blue Volkswagen followed him. However, before he confronted the tail, he was thrown into Jeffrey Lebowski’s limo where he was shown a toe. Jeffrey Lebowski and Brandt believed it was Bunny’s.

17. Was asked to leave a coffee shop due to Walter’s behavior.

18. While taking a bath three nihilists broke into his apartment, threw a marmot in the tub, threatened to cut off his Johnson, and broke his answering machine and another unidentified glass object.

19. The driver’s side door of his car would not open and the interior reeked of urine when it was found by the LAPD.

20. In perhaps my favorite scene in the movie the Dude drove his car while listening to Creedence, drinking a beer, and smoking a joint. He noticed a tail, dropped his joint, and crashed the car, finding Larry Seller’s (the car thief) homework in the process.

21. Attended his landlord’s bizarre interpretive dance performance.

22. Confronted Larry Sellers with Walter. It went poorly and ultimately Seller’s neighbor smashed every window in the Dude’s car with a crow bar.

23. The Dude tried to barricade his door with a chair and a piece of wood he shoddily hammered into the floor. Unfortunately the door opened out, which he forgot. As a result Woo and his associate walked right in and took him to see Jackie Treehorn.

24. Jackie Treehorn drugged The Dude’s White Russians.

25. Woke up from Treehorn’s roofie incicent running down a road. The police quickly took him into custody.

26. The sheriff of Malibu threw a mug at the Dude’s forehead, knocked him to the ground, kicked him, and then banned him from Malibu.

27. The Dude was thrown out of a cab for strongly voicing his negative feelings for the Eagles.

28. Found his home completely trashed and to add injury to insult, tripped over his ill-fated attempt at a barricade.

29. Had sex with Maude and learned afterwards that conception with a man who would not have anything to do with the baby was her goal. As a side note she was successful.

30. Confronted Jeffrey Lebowski about the fact that he never received $1 million to give the kidnappers in the first place. Watched as Walter attempted to prove that Jeffrey Lebowski could in fact walk. The attempt was unsuccessful.

31. Threatened by Jesus again.

32. Walked outside of the bowling alley with Walter and Donny only to find the nihilists had lit his car on fire (finally killing it) and were demanding money. He watched Walter beat the first with a bowling ball, bite off the second nihilist's ear, and beat the third with an unidentified object. Sadly Donny died of a heart attack in the process.

33. Retrieved Donny’s ashes from the funeral home. The wind foiled Walter’s attempt to sprinkle them in the ocean, blowing them all over the Dude.

To review he was robbed, knocked out, drugged, propositioned for sex, attacked by a sheriff, thrown out of a cab and a diner, covered in his friends ashes, shown a severed toe, tailed by a private investigator, and investigated by the league office. Furthermore, his car, which he crashed twice (once after a Uzi shot it up) was stolen and later burned, his friend died of a heart attack, an intruder urinated on his rug, a woman targeted him to aid her conception goal, and his house was trashed. Meanwhile, in The Dude's presence, Walter pulled a gun on a pacifist, rolled out of a car with an Uzi that fired on its own, beat the hell out of 3 nihilists, and threw a paraplegic to the floor. That's a hell of a lot of stuff. Personally I'd be thrown off a bit by a cab driver forcibly throwing me out of his car.

Drop by tomorrow when I’ll look at my favorite quotes/exchanges, ponder how much time elapsed in the movie, consider some unanswered questions, and tie up some other loose ends.