The tough thing is that this feeling never goes away. The grieving process for me took about ten years. I kept the memorabilia in my room, clinging to it in an almost sort of creepy way. I was obsessive, and I could rarely discuss hockey with somebody without talking about the Whalers, who obviously were not relevant to the conversation since they no longer existed.
I was in eighth grade when the Whalers played their last game, and I was in the Hartford Civic Center. It was April 13, 1997. Three days before my 14th birthday. I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried, and that at the time it seemed like I would never recover from this soul-crushing blow. I don't know if it would have been easier or more difficult if I had been older. On one hand, I would have had invested so many more years into this thing that was now being taken from me. But, on the other hand, my life experience might have given me more perspective. My dad didn't cry, so maybe that is an answer right there.
The start of this video is the audio of Kevin Dineen's speech to the fans after the final game, a great sentiment from the Captain but tough to relive:
Anybody who knew me in high school or college knows that it was hard for me to let go. First, I wouldn't watch the NHL. Then, when I got to college, I tried my best to embrace the Hurricanes, while still clinging to the dream that someday a franchise would return to Hartford. But, eventually, and this probably only happened about a year ago, I realized that the best thing for me was to just cut the NHL out of my life for good. I watched several playoff games this season, but only because a highschool classmate of mine, Chris Higgins, was playing for the Montreal Canadians. I certainly did not attach myself to any outcome. I watched no Stanley Cup games. I just really don't care. I'm happier this way, it makes things much easier.
I don't know exactly what I'm saying to Seattle fans. First, no matter how strong your grief is, it's natural. People can trivialize it all they want, but if you are a big fan of this team then you did just lose an important part of your life. Second, don't cheer for the Oklahoma City team. Don't buy any merchandise. I tried it and it only makes things worse. It might feel right, but you're really just putting money in Clay Bennet's pocket. Fuck him. I hate Peter Karmanos and you should hate Clay Bennet. Third, and this is where it gets tricky. It took me a long time to realize that a life without the NHL was the best way for me. But, I also have lots of other teams to root for and sports that I really enjoy (Giants, Celtics, UCONN basketball, Red Sox). You may or may not. If you do, embrace those teams fully. But, at the same time, it might be best for you to keep watching the NBA for two reasons. First, it is a great time for the league and you have a franchise on the rise in Portland that will be at the very least entertaining. Second, I think there is a much better chance of a team being put back in Seattle (a la the return of the Cleveland Browns) than there is of a franchise ever returning to Hartford..........
I could not have asked for a better sports year. In his most recent article for ESPN the magazine, Bill Simmons discusses how great it has been to see the Red Sox and Celtics win championships under such unexpected circumstances (Red Sox being down 3-0 in 04 ALCS, Celtics being horrible last season). He then discusses the Patriots winning the Super Bowl in 01 as 14 point underdogs. It's true, for Boston fans this has been an incredible year. Seeing the Red Sox and Celtics win championships within months of each other is something that they never would have expected just a few years ago.
Simmons then says "You know who's silently nodding their heads right now? New York Giants fans. They know they'll never beat the experience of rooting for a double-digit underdog that improbably terminated a bid for a perfect season in the Super Bowl." When I read that, it hit me once again how fortunate I have been this year.
I don't say any of this to gloat. There is a reason and here it is:
I should be on top of the sports world right now. And, I am. It has been an amazing time for me. But, throughout all of that happiness, whenever I heard about the turmoil in Seattle, I couldn't help but think back to the Whale. I couldn't help remembering how bad it was to lose a team, and feeling bad for the fans in Seattle. So, I guess it really does never go away. It appears like I've moved on. I no longer have my place designed as some sort of strange shrine to a defunct hockey team. I don't go around spreading my bitterness to anybody that will listen. So yes, it does get easier. But it never goes away.
The final Whalers goal, Kevin Dineen beats Rick Tabaracci. I'll never forget it:
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