Foil in the Oven: I Wanna Be Sedated

Sitting in the bleachers at Fenway last night, I couldn't help but feel like I was watching all hope for a post-season run go down the tubes as I watched the team completely implode, and I felt a sense of backlash from the fans that I can't ever remember feeling before. Hopefully it will pass. At least football season is getting closer....


Here come the rest of my AFC picks, but first................

This video is amazing (courtesy of Ball Don't Lie via Awful Announcing , and Fan House) This is part of a movie trailer parody contest at ibeatyou.com




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AFC SOUTH:

In my opinion, this is the second best division in the NFL (a close second to the NFC East). The Colts and Jaguars seem like bonafide playoff teams, while the Titans defense is too good to ignore. On top of that, the Texans appear to be on the rise.




First of all, I don't expect Peyton Manning's knee recovery to have any major effect on the Colts. In fact, there is not a team in the NFL that is built to handle a setback like this as well as the Colts are. First of all, you know that Peyton Manning is going to do everything that he needs to do in order to be ready to play. It may mean spending extra time watching film, or it may mean taking extra reps with his receivers once he is back. It will probably require both. Either way, I'm sure he has already laid out a very clear plan for himself. Second, he's going to be throwing to Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark, and Anthony Gonzalez. Aside from Gonzalez, he has been working with those guys long enough that it shouldn't take long for them to get back on track.

So, as strange as it seems to say given the fact that their starting quarterback is missing significant preseason time, I have no questions about the Colts offense this year. They are stacked again, and they may be more dangerous than ever before. All the question marks come on defense. Mainly, can Dwight Freeney and Bob Sanders stay healthy? The answer will determine exactly how high the playoff ceiling is for this team. Even if they do suffer some injuries on defense, this is my pick to win the AFC South.



I'm not quite as high on the Jaguars as most people seem to be. Given their performance last season, they have certainly earned the right to be on everybody's radar. Overall, it seems like people are most sold on Jacksonville's defense and on Jack Del Rio as a head coach. I think it's certainly a good team, but there are a lot of question marks for me. I think Marcus Stroud was a huge loss. I expect him to have a huge impact on Buffalo's defense, and I think the Jags will feel his absence. This team has a whole lot of offensive potential, but I have too many questions about the players on the team to sell myself on them. Fred Taylor's health is obviously going to be a concern, and I'm not confident endorsing the Taylor/Jones-Drew tandem unless I know that Taylor will be healthy. I need to see another strong year from David Garrard before I can really feel confident. And, the receiving core, like the whole offense, has potential to be great but I'm shaky on them. Jerry Porter, Troy Williamson, Matt Jones, Dennis Northcutt, these guys are all talented. But, I have my doubts.

It's hard for me to put my finger on exactly why I have so much trouble trusting this Jags team. David Garrard threw for 18 touchdowns and only 3 interceptions last season. That statistic in itself should put my questions about him to rest. It also means that I'll most likely be proven wrong.





The Titans are a team that I always love to watch. This year won't be any different.
At this point, there's no way to predict what will happen with that offense. However, what I do know is that this is a very strong defensive unit. In bringing Jevon Kearse back, the Titans have created what could end up being the best defensive line in the NFL (if Kearse can stay healthy, of course). Kearse, Kyle Vanden Bosch, and of course Albert Haynesworth are enough to give any offensive coordinator nightmares during the week leading up to a matchup with Tennessee. Add in a linebacking group that includes David Thornton and Keith Bulluck, and a secondary that sports Chris Hope and Michael Griffin at the safety spots and you've got a defense that could (but most likely won't) put Tennessee back in the postseason.

The Texans aren't there yet. Andre Johnson is great. Ahman Green is what he is at this point (which is old and injury prone but still adequate). I'm intrigued by Steve Slaton. In Amobi Okoye, Mario Williams, DeMeco Ryans, and Dunta Robinson, Houston has a core of your defensive players that should help this unit exceed a lot of people's expectations. But, this division is too good. The ceiling for the Texans is a third place finish, and that's if Tennessee's offense goes completely to hell.

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AFC WEST:

I hate to do this. I tried to make it work out differently. Unfortunately, no matter how many times I tweaked the intricate algorithms of the Roomofzen Super Computer, the results were always the same. And here they are:

This division sucks. But, it houses what I believe to be the best team in the NFL. I can't stand the San Diego Chargers. Back in the days of Stan Humphries, Natrone Means, Shawn Jefferson, and Alfred Pupunu, I had no problems with this team. They were actually very likeable (and it was hard to watch the 49ers just rip them to shreds in the Super Bowl). My contempt for them began back when LaDanian Tomlinson was dubbed "LT", and it has grown steadily since.

It's not just me. There are a lot of football fans out there with no ties to Lawrence Taylor who hate the Chargers. But, in San Diego, there seems to be nothing but optimism and anticipation. The Chargers are confident, and they possess a certain swagger that is the distinct mark of a good team. The fact that they have grown so unpopular with the masses is probably most indicative of how strong a team they have become.

Before I talk about why they are so good, let me first make this quick statement. During the 2006-2007 NFL season, people all over the national media were proclaiming Philip Rivers to be a better quarterback than Eli Manning. Now, the Giants gave up a lot for Manning, especially when you look at what those draft picks became (Shawne Merriman, Nate Kaeding, and Roman Oben (via trade with Tampa). But, the Giants just won the Super Bowl. I am very happy with the trade. Philip Rivers would have been a horrible fit in New York. His volatile personality would have just added more negativity to a lockerroom that was already bursting apart at the seams. I believe Manning is a better quarterback than Rivers, and I think that will show more than ever this year. Ok, now I feel like I can praise the Chargers.

This team is solid in every single area of the game. They have the single most dangerous offensive weapon in football at running back. Adding Chris Chambers makes a passing game that's difficult to stop (Chambers, Antonio Gates, Vincent Jackson, and Tomlinson out of the backfield). The offensive line (anchored by Marcus McNeill and Nick Hardwick) is very strong. On top of that, this offense has now has one full season with Norv Turner's system under their belts. I don't expect them to start slowly like last season.

As scary as the San Diego offense is, the defense may be even scarier. Shawne Merriman, Jamal Williams, Luis Castillo, Shaun Phillips, Matt Willhelm, Antonio Cromartie, Quentin Jammer, this defense is loaded. You can't run on them when they are healthy, and they showed in last year's postseason that they can't be thrown on either (remember how they made Peyton Manning and Tom Brady look).

When you look up and down the roster of the Chargers, it's hard to think of another team that is as talented. On top of that, this team seemed to take a huge step forward last season. It was ugly early on. They fell flat on their faces despite huge expectations. And then we had to listen to LaDanian whine at all the press conferences. I guess they hit rock bottom wheh Tomlinson and Rivers had their little spat on the sideline (a personal highlight for me). But, they worked through it, and seemed to emerge a much better and more unified team at the end of the season. They played their best football of the year in the playoffs (I don't want to pour salt in the wounds of Patriots' fans, but that was a close AFC championship game and the result may have been different with a healthy Tomlinson). I expect them to continue this high level of play as they enter this season.

The Chargers are my pick to win the AFC West, and my pick to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl......that was horrible. Now I'm in a bad mood. I don't even want to waste my time breaking down the rest of this division. I'll give you the Reader's Digest version:

2nd place: Oakland (Much improved. I like JaMarcus Russell a lot. I also like Lane Kiffin. Combine that with an owner that spends wrecklessly with no concern for his teams long term cap situation and you have a big turnaround.)
3rd place: Denver (They didn't get any better)
4th place: Kansas City (They really suck. I think the Dolphins are better than them. Not the Falcons though. The Falcons suck more.)

So, here is my AFC playoff picture

1- San Diego
2- New England
3- Indianapolis
4- Pittsburgh
x5- Jacksonville
x6- Baltimore