Kobe/LeBron Puppets Episode V

About as disappointing as Rocky V. But, Kobe in an apron at the grill is pretty funny.



We also had this reenactment of the Kobe jumping over a car commercial:

Embrace The Weekend: Be Afraid, NBA.

KG had successful knee surgery this week, which means that Cleveland and Orlando had better enjoy this moment they have right now, because they will not get off so easy next year. To those who say that KG is all done, and really to all those people that have been trying to knock him down over the past two months, I'd like to submit this 90 second video clip to express how I feel about you and your beliefs:







I've wrote several times on this site about what a great album Live Through This is. You can say that Hole sucked, and I can't argue with you. But that one album, Live Through This, was the epitome of catching lightning in a bottle (which is why I suspect Kurt Cobain played a heavy hand in it). Anyways, enjoy the weekend everyone:

Top Ten Moments of the 2009 Boston Celtics, Part 2.

If you missed moments 10-6, here they are.



5- Friday, March 20th, 2009: What a great night, and a great all around sports weekend. It was the first day of spring in 2009, and the concluding night of the first round of March Madness, a night in which previously top ranked Wake Forest was upset by thirteenth seeded Cleveland State. It was an evening of new beginnings, a chance for all of us to put the trials and hardships of winter behind us as we forged ahead to happier times. Nowhere in America was this feeling more palpable than in the city of Boston, where Celtics fans watched (on television) their savior return to action after missing 13 games to help give his team a lift in a tough road matchup with the Spurs.

Despite the 2055 miles that separate the cities of Boston and San Antonio, you could sense the energy that Garnett's return brought to the hardwood on this night. He logged less than 15 minutes of actual playing time, but you could see the impact of his presence manifest itself in the swagger that each and every Celtics player carried onto the floor with them. This was most evident in Kendrick Perkins, who played tremendous physical defense on Tim Duncan. The player of the night, hands down, was Tony Parker, who seemed to be in control of the game all night long. Parker finished with an impressive 25 points, 8 assists, and 7 boards. Ironically, Parker's very uncharacteristic four straight missed free throws in the final minutes cost his team a victory.

And so it was, for one night, that all seemed right with the world. Spring was here, and with it came a reawakening of the senses, the spirit, and the ability of the Celtics to defend the pick and roll. Kevin Garnett had not been able to contribute much. But, his 15 minutes at 75% and the emotion he injected into his teammates allowed the Celtics to beat one of the league's best teams on the road. How would any team be able to stop them once he worked his way back near 100%? The drive for banner 18 was back on schedule.

Of course, we all know how this turned out. That's why you have to stop to enjoy all of these moments.





4- Tuesday, May 12, 2009: Eastern Conference Playoffs, Round 2, Game 5. I'd like to think that the Orlando Magic were forged into a championship caliber team during their series with the Celtics. Sure, they were always talented. Sure, they could always create mismatches. But, they lacked a certain something. They couldn't finish. They seemed incapable of stringing together 48 solid minutes, and they couldn't hold a lead. They learned a series of tough lessons against the Celtics. Game 5 was the final lesson, and it is the moment I will look back on as the turning point if the Magic do end up hoisting the Larry O'Brien trophy in June (similar to the Giants close loss to the Patriots in week 17 of the 07-08 NFL season).

Orlando led by 14 at one point in the second half. They led by ten with five and a half minutes remaining in the fourth. And yet, the outcome seemed completely predictable, because this Magic team could not finish. The Celtics played 5 good minutes of basketball on this evening, and it was enough. I will always remember Stephon Marbury fondly for his performance in the fourth quarter of this game. With Paul Pierce, Rajon Rondo, and Kendrick Perkins resting on the bench, Marbury scored 12 points in the first 6 minutes of the fourth, ensuring that the Celtics would not fall behind further before their defensive stars returned. The fact that Doc Rivers felt comfortable with this strategy speaks volumes to what kind of team the Magic were.


This game totally altered the course of the 2009 playoffs, because the Orlando Magic that we all knew died that night at the Garden. The team that always folded in the face of adversity and seemed to acquiese to the will of their opponents ceased to exist. What grew in their place was a team that finally understood what it needed to do to to be a championship contender. This change was most evident in Dwight Howard. Previously criticized for his happy-go-lucky demeanor, Howard suddenly appeared frustrated before the media, calling out his coach and demanding more touches. In Game 6, the Magic overcame a horrendous shooting night and a ten-point second half Celtics lead to force a game 7. Orlando then came out in game 7 with the look of a team on a mission. They were determined to TAKE the game, rather than simply hoping it would fall their way. They played with a high intensity for the entire night, and they finally showed the ability to play with a lead, as they matched every Celtics run by tightening up on defense and knocking down big shots.

Coming back from a 15 point halftime deficit to take game 1 in Cleveland; Being down 23 in the second quarter at Cleveland and forcing LeBron to beat you with a miracle heave; grinding out a tough OT victory in game 4: none of this happens without game 5, the night on which the Magic turned the corner.

Of course, I knew none of this as I exited the TD Banknorth Garden on May 12th. I felt, for the first time of the postseason, like the Celtics actually had the stuff to make a run at the finals. Again, this is why you have to enjoy the moment while you're in it.





3- Sunday, May 10, 2009: We always hear coaches talk about the importance of role players stepping up in key spots, and how it is virtually impossible to win a championship if this doesn't happen. This was perhaps never more evident than in game 4 against the Magic. Glen Davis went through many ups and downs during the final minute of this game, but in the end, he stepped up to give his team the win. Davis scored a big bucket with just over 30 seconds remaining to give the Celtics a one point lead. Back on the defensive end, he was once again abused by Rashard Lewis (a perpetual occurence in this series), sending lewis to the free throw line to put the Magic up 1. Earlier this season, something like that might have shaken Davis. Maybe it was the influence of Kevin Garnett, maybe it was the fact that he was completely desensitized to Rashard Lewis making him look like a fool. Whatever it was, Davis took the floor on the offensive end, and sunk a game winning jumper as time expired (see above video). In doing so, he gave the Celtics new life.

Note: It was in this joyous moment that we all got acquainted with Ernest Provetti, who demanded an apology after Davis accidentily bumped his son Nicholas after the shot. Provetti would later rescind his request, essentially admitting that he had completely failed as a father and as a man.




2- Monday, April 20, 2009 It was Patriot's Day. The day of the Boston Marathon. We were just getting acquainted with these new Bulls at this point. This Bulls series felt like it lasted for months, and it seemed to have 4 distinct phases for Celtics fans. Games 1 and 2 were the "they had key guys turn in huge performances, and we were way off. this series won't be close" phase. Game 3 was the "See, we knew these guys sucked" phase. Games 4,5, and 6 were the "oh shit, wait a second, these guys are actually pretty good. im a little bit worried" phase. And, finally game 7 was the "cut the bullshit and win this game" phase.

In game 1, it was Derrick Rose who turned in a monumental performance for the Bulls. In game 2, it was Ben Gordon, who finished with 42 points. His final two came with 12 seconds left, and tied the game up at 115. Heading into the final Celtics possession, there was no question who was getting the ball. Ray Allen, who at that point had put to rest any worries about him being in a shooting slump by scoring 25 second half points, was the hot hand (and, not to mention, one of the best clutch shooters of all time). With Paul Pierce struggling, everyone watching knew that Ray would get the last shot. The Bulls knew it too. And yet, somehow, as he always does, Ray got open and knocked down a game winning 3 (see above video). There were 2 seconds left on the clock, which ordinarily would have made me nervous given the way Gordon had played. But, luckily Vinny Del Negro was out of timeouts, and a Tyrus Thomas desperation heave was all his team could muster. I don't know what's better: the fact that this happened, or the fact that this was not the only time in this series Del Negro found himself out of timeouts in a key spot.

Going down 2-0 to this Chicago team, who I still didn't think was for real at this point, would have been disasterous. Now they had new life, and Ray had found his shooting touch again. We shuffled across the street to the Four's in search of some celebratory beer and nachos. I will never forget what happened next. Suddenly, I look over, and Tommy Heinsohn was taking a seat in the booth right next to ours. As he sat down, he exclaimed "it's time to wet the whistle!" I observed him carefully, and kept in close contact with the waiter about what he was ordering. 1 shrimp cocktail, and several bloody marys. Very tomato heavy (lycopene: good for the prostate). Heinsohn won 8 rings as a player and 2 more as a coach. He was a six time all star and coach of the year. He's the face of the franchise as an announcer. Really, there is no question that this was more significant than drinking ten feet away from Larry Bird. In fact, the only member of the Celtics organization that may have been more significant is Red Auerbach, who is no longer with us.

I reported my encounter, among other things, to the basketball jones that night. I called and e-mailed many times. I had been out of town all day, and had not seen the show. I think I was having withdrawals. Anyways, in a moment that made me very proud, and made my friends and family hang their heads in shame, here is the episode:

Ep. 424: Season In Balance from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.

1- Tuesday, November 28, 2008: It's strange to think that the top moment of a season could take place before a single minute of regular season basketball has even been played. But, I don't think that anybody could take me to task for choosing this as moment #1. Certainly, in a season in which I saw many memorable moments in the Garden, this is the one that will stick with me the longest. The lights were turned down, and suddenly there was a spotlight on Paul Pierce at center court. We then saw John Havlicek, Bob Cousy, Tommy Heinsohn, Satch Sanders, Jo Jo White, M.L. Carr and Cedric Maxwell, carry out the Larry O'Brien out to Paul Pierce, who was already in tears as he took it from them and lifted it in the air to the roar of the packed house.

Even now, it's hard for me to get past the emotion of this scene and the uniqueness of Pierce's situation. This championship meant the world to Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, who had worked tirelessly for their entire careers to get it. But, it meant more to Pierce, if that's even possible, because of the circumstances. When, in this era, do you ever see a player spend ten years as the leader of a franchise that sees such dark times? You don't. Despite all the changes that have gone on around him, Pierce has remained the face of this franchise for a decade. This team was as far as they could go in the rebuilding process: lots of young talent, expiring contracts, and Paul Pierce. Things were not always smooth, and both sides have acknowledged that. In fact, in his speech on this very night, he talked about being frustrated and asking to be traded. Earlier that day, Danny Ainge had gone on WEEI and stated categorically that going into the 2007 draft they were determined to either trade their pick or trade Paul Pierce. The relationship between Pierce and the fans of Boston has been much rockier than has been the case with previous Celtics superstars. But, there were two men who always believed in Paul Pierce: Red Auerbach and Danny Ainge. That will get you pretty far in Boston.

And, I have to believe that even the Pierce detractors that wanted him gone (and I sit next to two of them at the games) had to appreciate what he has done on this night. He has grown up as a player in this city. We've seen him at his highest and his lowest. At times, we've both said things we wish he could have back. He's like family. He's ingrained in this city, and it would have been terrible to see him in another uniform. Players always thank the fans after they win championships, but I don't think anybody in history has ever meant it as much as Paul Pierce meant it, and I don't think any fanbase has ever appreciated a player's individual moment as much as the fans of Boston appreciated this one. This, in my mind, is a top ten moment in the history of this great franchise. And, there is no question it was the highlight of the season.

Kenny Powers Audio Tapes

Part 2 of the top ten Celtics moments is almost done. It's been a very busy week. I just have to add some pics/vids and whatnot. In the meantime, please watch this video, and laugh.

Basketball Jones and TheScore.com: Episode 2

Here are Skeets, Tas, and JD at it again with Episode 2 of their new series with www.thescore.com. This is great stuff. Skeets in the shower at the end kills me.

Here is the link to episode 1.

Again, www.thebasketballjones.net . You should be there every weekday during the NBA season and postseason.

I definitely promised all of you part 2 of the top ten moments of the Celtics season today. But, some memorial days can be more consuming than others. It will be up this week. If you didn't catch part 1 (moments 10-6), here it is.

Kobe/LeBron Puppets, Episode IV

Better than three, not as good as the first two. Certainly not as good as Rocky IV.



"Excuse me?!"

"No I don't think I will"

The Top Ten Moments of the 2009 Boston Celtics, Part 1

I'm just warning you now, part 1 of this list is very Truth-heavy.

10- Sunday, March 8th, 2009: Despite trailing by 18 at the half and missing both Kevin Garnett and Rajon Rondo, the Celtics are able to pull within double digits by the end. More important than the outcome of the game was the announcement that Paul Pierce had passed Robert Parish to become number three on the all-time Celtics scoring list, behind Larry Bird and John Havlicek.

I'll never forget this, because we all got to our feet and clapped, and the older couple next to me shook their heads in disaproval. "It's really too bad, Parish was a much better player, Pierce is just a ballhog" the woman said to me, her husband nodding in agreement. It's interesting that Pierce was never embraced as unconditionally by all of Celtics nation as the two men ahead of him and the man who he passed. Part of it, I guess, is that older people always seem to think that what's happening now isn't as great as it used to be. The other is that I suppose these fans need somebody to blame for the subpar years that this team has seen with Pierce. In my opinion, he belongs in the company of all the Celtics greats, and this was a really great moment in an otherwise frustrating afternoon.





9- Monday, November 10, 2008: On the eve of Veteran's Day, the Celtics found themselves down eight points to the Raptors in the fourth quarter. It was then that Paul Pierce took over. He scored 22 points in the final quarter, and led the Celtics to victory in a game in which they had trailed since the opening minutes. When Pierce took the stage at the postgame press conference with his hand wrapped in ice, Kevin Garnett jokingly informed the media that Pierce's shooting hand needed to be cooled down. While Pierce's performance drew national praise, there was also many around North America who were upset with Kevin Garnett waving his finger in Jose Calderon's face as Calderon was advancing the ball.

While KG's finger wag upset many, I loved it. My reaction to it now is the same as it was then: If you don't like one of the highest paid veterans in the league going balls to the wall and doing everything he can to win in November, you've got problems. You're probably one of the same people who complains about NBA teams coasting through the regular season. Some people are never happy. Eat a dick, essentially, is what I'm saying to you.

Here were KG's postgame thoughts on Pierce's performance (it's funny, but a little awkward...very nasaly performance)




8- Tuesday, April 28, 2009: Eastern Conference Playoffs, Round 1, Game 5. Kevin Garnett is not playing. Ray Allen fouled out with over 5 minutes remaining (the last two fouls were VERY questionable calls, particularly the 6th.) Things were looking bleak. However, as he so often does, Paul Pierce took the team on his shoulders. He tied the game with 10 seconds left in the fourth, and then scored 6 in the overtime. His final two, a signature jumper from the elbow, put the Celtics up 2 with 3 seconds left in the overtime.

It should be noted here that Richard Phillips (the Captain captured by Somali pirates) was the "Celtics Hero Among Us" of this night. I should probably say something about gaining a lot of perspective on sports and realizing what a real role model is and all that stuff. I just thought it was cool. That's all I have to say.




7- Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009: The Celtics had won 11 straight heading into their road matchup with the Sixers. With less than a minute remaining, Ray Allen hit a three pointer to tie the game up at 97, apparently prompting Cedric Maxwell to exclaim "Sugar Ray! That's onions right there! Not onion rings, but onIONS!" (see video below). However, after Andre Iguodala hit a beautiful fallaway shot with six seconds left, it looked like that 11 game win streak would come to an end. However, Doc Rivers drew up a beatiful inbounds play for Ray Allen, who gave the Celtics the win by hitting a three pointer from the corner with less than a second left on the clock.

Words can't do this one justice, watch it:




6- Wednesday, November 12, 2008: Two nights after scoring 22 fourth quarter points to beat the Raptors, Paul Pierce scores 34 with the final two coming on a fallaway jumper with his team down 1 and .5 seconds left on the clock to beat the previously undefeated Hawks. KG had 25 and 12 in this one as well. After the game, Kevin Garnett had this to say to the media:

"The last play was drawn up: Get the ball to Pierce; get the hell out the way," Garnett said. "Superman's in the booth. Let's go home. That was the play, and if you don't believe that ask Doc Rivers and he'll say the same exact thing."

This week was my favorite of the entire season, and this would probably be my top moment of the season if the playoffs had never happened. This was early November, and teams were coming in to the Garden to play the defending champs with intensity usually reserved for postseason game 7s. They were pushed to their breaking point twice in a row, and both times they dug deep and provided the fans with moments they won't soon forget.

Here is the buzzer beater from that night:




Moments 5-1 coming at you Monday or Tuesday.

Embrace The Long Weekend: The Second Coming

You might think "The Second Coming" was referring to LBJ being the second coming of MJ. But, as Jordanesque as that moment was, I'm going to need to see some rings before I can bring myself to be so bold. Instead, it referred to this voicemail I got from Babcock at 9:10 this morning:

"Hey man, sorry to bother you so early on a Saturday morning. Just felt I had to let you know this big news. I'm driving through Bath, Maine, and I just saw a new building site in Brunswick, North of Cooks Corner. It read "Winner's Sports Bar". A brand new location and a brand new building."


If you don't know about Winner's, which we returned to Brunswick to find demolished to nothing but a scrapheap in October, and the story of how this site got it's name, let Gilby enlighten you. There may not be an actual roomofzen attached to this new Winner's, but the spirit of the roomofzen will still live there.


We've got Conference Finals all weekend baby! Enjoy it, and please, kick some ass this memorial day:




On a totally random note, this post from Christmas 2007 will always be one of my favorites. The site was new, I was trying my hardest to be funny, and I failed at multiple turns. But, overall, I think it still turned out alright.

In Defense of Michael Vick. Or, At Least, In Defense Of Another Chance

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that Michael Vick was released from prison this week after serving 19 months for bankrolling a major dogfighting ring. ESPN has had full coverage of every possible stage of this process, pulling out all the stops to show us just how far this former hero has fallen. They had camera crews and a reporter outside the prison walls in the middle of the night, even as they were telling us that high profile inmates are released under the cover of night to protect their privacy. They’ve been camped outside his house, going as far to dub images of him stepping outside to test out his ankle tracker as “breaking news”. There are a lot of people out there who feel like Michael Vick should have to face some type of gruesome punishment for his crime, and I think ESPN is at the top of that list. Honestly, they’d probably love nothing more than a public execution, one that they could present to you in HD for two uninterrupted hours. All of this has made me feel very sad about Vick and how far he has fallen, and I’d like to just publicly make my plea for Michael Vick to be reinstated to the NFL.


The biggest mistake that Vick made in all of this was that he was never able to separate himself from his old life. Emmitt Smith talked about this, saying that this separation is one of the most difficult parts of being a pro athlete. A lot of what went down with this dog fighting ring did not happen under Vick’s watch, but on his property and with his money. Remember, despite what people might be saying, he was not serving time for running some kind of doggy death camp. He was serving time for sponsoring the operation. I have no problem with that. I’m quite confident that he was the only one of that circus with the means needed to bankroll such a major operation. I don’t think Michael Vick is a bad person. I think he just needs to be smarter about who he associates with and what he does with his money.

Let’s look at the reality of Michael Vick’s situation today. He just served 19 months in prison. He’s bankrupt. He has millions and millions of dollars in debt. His public image has been irreparably damaged. He has nothing. He has been punished. The best thing for him, and for society, is for him to be allowed to return to football. I would ask those who disagree with me what the overarching goal of our justice system is with regard to sentencing and punishment. The answer, I believe, is rehabilitation. The goal is to help convicts, whenever possible, to realize the error in their ways and help them re-enter successfully into society. Vick is probably more ready to do that than he has ever been in his life. Sure, he had petty troubles before (the marijuana water bottle incident stands out in my memory). But, I’m sure he never felt any real threat of his new lifestyle being taken away. Now, it’s all gone. We’ve all been waiting for Michael Vick to turn the corner, and he’s never been in a more ready position to do that.

The people who disagree with me, those people that want Vick to be punished more, would probably start their arguments with either “well, as a dog owner,” or “professional athletes always get breaks”. First of all, being a dog owner does not qualify you as a legal expert in this case, so please stop prefacing your statement with "well, as a dog owner" expecting us to put any weight behind your opinions. You don’t get to turn his legal situation into your own personal vendetta. And, as far as people never wanting pro athletes to get breaks, let me repeat myself: he just spent almost two years in prison, he’s bankrupt, and he owes over many millions of dollars in debt. He did not catch a break here. He was made an example of. I hear people calling radio stations talking about how he hasn't even begun to serve his time, and constantly saying "I mean, I can't even imagine doing something like this". Please, stop trying to boost your own self-esteem by bringing others down.

Now, to those who believe Vick should not be reinstated to play football, let me pose this question to you: how exactly should Michael Vick LEGALLY go about resolving his debt problems? There is literally only one possible way for him to do it, and that way is playing football. His predicament is especially severe given the lifestyle he was living before these charges were filed. Now, I’m not saying you have to be sympathetic to his financial issues. Sure, if he didn’t want to lose it all he should have abided by the law. But, by refusing to give him this chance, you’re ensuring that the cycle will repeat itself. Destitution breeds crime. Vick will have no choice but to resort to illegal means in order to pay off his debt, and his three children will grow up no better than he did. Again, further punishment might help to satisfy some deep seeded emotional reaction you had to an ESPN special about the dogs that were harmed, but the best thing for all of us is for this former felon to have the chance to earn his way back and provide a better life for his children. That is undeniable.


I’d like to close by quoting Babcock from this morning’s staff meeting:
"If we can't throw a guy in jail, take everything he has, make him pay for his crimes, and then turn him loose with the freedom to get it all back, then we've really lost our way as a nation."

Yeah Baby!

Just want to send out a big Room of Zen congratulations to Big Papi for breaking out of the slump he has been in and parking one last night. I happened to tune in right before it happened and I must say it was definitely a feel good moment. Watching the reaction of his team it was very easy to see what a relief that hit was. This is one of the good guys and it was fun to see him do his thing.

God Bless America: The Lingerie Football League

Here is the official website of the Lingerie Football League, which will kickoff it's inaugural season on September 4th of this year. According to wikipedia:

"The concept originated from the hugely successful Super Bowl halftime alternative television special called the Lingerie Bowl which draws millions of viewers as a pay-per-view event broadcast annually directly opposite the Super Bowl halftime show. The television mega-special has become a staple of Super Bowl Sunday festivities for millions worldwide being broadcast in over 85 countries."

"Play style is full-contact and consists of seven women on each side of the 50-yard field, akin to indoor football. Uniforms consist of helmets, shoulder pads, bikini tops and shorts."

Now, you might think that I'm sitting here disgusted, and feeling like this is just some insultingly obvious sexist ploy to provide men with weekly opportunities to watch scantily clad women run around and fall on each other. But, you'd be wrong. I actually think this is a great idea, and I cannot wait to watch these women compete. Frankly, I think a league like this is a bit overdue. What was the Seneca Falls convention of 1848 all about? Why did women like Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony fight to have the constitution amended? Why was the Department of Labor formed? Why did women in the 1960's stand in the street burning their bras?

It's all about equal rights, man. The right to vote. The right to fair wages. The right to fair working conditions. The right to attend school with the same professional goals as men. And now, finally, the right to try and make money playing tackle football. This is one of the most sought after and cherished of the male traditions. That, my friends, is progress.





So, as of right now, there are ten teams. Conspicuously absent from the league is a team to represent the city of New York. As a Giants fan, this puts me in a bit of a bind. However, although I do not care for their male counterparts in the NFL, I have decided to throw my support behind the New England Euphoria, who will play their games at the Dunkin Donuts Center in Providence and whose roster features a quarterback from Fall River, a safety from Danvers, and two players from Medford (one running back and one defensive back). Among other things, it's nice to see that the LFL will provide a little more hometown flavor to the fans than the NFL does (although there are players from Puerto Rico and Vietnam on the roster of the Euphoria).

Here is the website to my new nemeses, the Dallas Desire.

We'll have more information on the Lingerie Football League as it becomes available, and hopefully we'll have full coverage of Euphoria training camp. I think a trip to open practices may be in order.

If I could say one final thing to the women of the LFL, it would be this: don't listen to the critics. Many of the great leagues we know today went through rough beginnings. There were once many who felt that there was no money to be made in professional basketball. People once believed that the pro football game could never get out of the shadow of the college game. However, at the end of the day, the players of those eras laid the foundation for future greatness. You have the full support of the roomofzen, and we look forward to watching you make out with eachother.





Sorry, I mean, we look forward to following you this season.

Kobe and LeBron Puppets, episode 3

I'm not crazy about this one. It's funny, because I'm already halfway to laughing from the first two. But, could it stand on it's own? Certainly not. Nevertheless, I'm already a slave to these puppets, so I'll watch it several times.


LeBron saying "I don't know" is kind of funny.

The Shield Is Down

Wow. Raise your hand if you turned away from this at halftime (as it seemed pretty predictable at that point) and ended up going to bed early. My hand is raised. Good thing we have DVR. I can't wait to check out how it went down at the end.

Worth mentioning (and I know you've heard this 1 million times already) that this is the third time the Magic have defeated the Cavs in their four total meetings. I know people say it's irrelevant, but I don't really see how they can feel that way. Cleveland didn't take many nights off, and they certainly didn't lose many games. Obviously there's something to it.

In this era of Shaq-proofed backboards, this counts as a serious feat of strength:

I Feel Awkward

If you'd like to see a montage of the 08-09 Celtics season and their fans set to "Forever Young" by Rod Stewart, head here and watch the official Celtics thank you video to their fans. I'm not going to lie, this one didn't really do it for me. Forever Young by Rod Stewart, what's the significance? There are plenty of cliche sports songs that would have worked just fine (the warrior, won't back down, welcome to the jungle might have been good and fitting). Are the players forever young? Are the fans forever young? I don't get it. A video of KG screaming motherfucker at me as loud as possible would have been the best thank you they could have given me.


Also, you can see the old, white bearded man in the jersey and sportcoat that I wrote about in this article the day after the championship at the :38 second mark in the video. He's the man.

In fact, I just read that whole post from last year and it made me feel great. There is nothing like reliving the championships of your teams. Here it is again, in case you want a pick-me-up.

So Much For Suspense

After the Clippers won the number one pick in this year's draft, their team's website featured an interview with Team President Andy Roeser. In the interview, Roeser was asked about whether or not Blake Griffin would be the team's pick. He responded by saying:

"We’re going to do our due diligence and then we’re going to pick the best player in the Draft. A lot of people do think that’s Blake Griffin. I would like to sit with Mike [Dunleavy] before we make that decision."

That seems to be the standard organizational response to this type of good fortune. Behind closed doors, you may be jumping for joy and starting to plan for next season with Griffin in your frontcourt rotation. But, publicly, we all appreciate a slight hint of suspense.

Apparently Mike Dunleavy didn't get the memo about meeting as an organization to make a decision, or about doing due diligence, or even about trying to keep some element of secrecy to what his team would do. According to this LA Times article , Dunleavy had this to say last night in a phone interview from Barcelona after hearing that his team had won the top pick:

"Clearly, we're taking Blake Griffin," Clippers General Manager and Coach Mike Dunleavy said in a telephone interview from Barcelona, Spain. "This guy is the No. 1 pick. We're extremely excited. He's the guy."


So, there it is. I've heard a lot of jokes this morning about what a bad break this was for Griffin. In actuality, I think this Clippers team will be pretty good on paper. Griffin will join Marcus Camby, Chris Kaman, and Zach Randolph on the front line. That's a pretty solid frontcourt to pair with Baron Davis and Eric Gordon. Plus, how bad can it be to be rich and famous in Los Angeles? I'd certainly have to think this is a more attractive scenario than going to Sacramento. People were hyped about the possibility of Oklahoma City, but I think those prospects were more exciting for the Thunder organization than they were for Griffin. This is LOS ANGELES we're talking about.

The Dream Police

You can't crack under the pressure if you want to beat the Lakers. You need to execute for 48 full minutes. Kobe Bryant has been doing this, under this type of spotlight, for almost 15 years. If you allow him to, and sometimes even if you don't, he will steal your dreams away from you in the fourth quarter. The Nuggets had a clear blueprint for what they needed to do to beat this team and, for the most part, they did it. They seemed able to score at will in the paint (although they didn't go in there enough late in the game), they were more physical, Carmelo Anthony got them off to a fast start, and Chauncey Billups was hitting big shots. But, in the end, the pressure got to them, and they cracked. The Lakers will frustrate you, as they did to Kenyon Martin, who committed a costly foul on Kobe Bryant down the stretch. The Lakers will make you pay for any momentary lapse in effort or focus, as was the case when Trevor Ariza picked off Anthony Carters weak-ass attempt to inbound the ball to Chauncey Billups with under a minute left. The guy had flat out looked horrible against Carmelo in the first quarter, but, in crunch time, his confidence and focus were unwavering. That is the mark of a championship team.

The Orlando Magic grew up right before our eyes in the second round. They began as a team that could not hold a lead (game 1), got psyched out and let their frustration get the better of them (game 2), and who could not put away games in which they had the lead in the fourth quarter (games 4 and 5). However, by the time game 6 rolled around, they had been forged into a contender. Their lessons learned against the Celtics will no doubt help them in round 3. Hopefully, we can see Denver go through that same process. It should be easier, seeing as how they have a veteran who knows what it takes at the point guard spot.

After the game, George Karl said "The next 48 hours are going to be difficult". Denver needs to stay positive and focused on what it needs to change in game 2. They controlled this game most of the way, so their gameplan and their intensity do not need much tweaking. They need to watch a lot of film, and see where exactly this thing went wrong. They can still win this series, but it's all about what they are able to take away from game 1. If they let the frustration of this loss get to them, then they are as good as dead. Once Kobe smells blood in the water, you're done for.

Gulp.

Via DFW Sports:

"Cristal Taylor, speaking by phone from the Beaumont jail, told Dallas Morning News’ Brad Townsend that she was, in fact, pregnant, and that she was, in fact, engaged to Dirk Nowitzki........'I've known Dirk for seven years – and, no, I didn't tell him everything about my past because I was afraid,' Taylor said. 'But, I mean, now I'm pregnant and alone and broke because he is my only source of income.'"

Yikes. Good luck with all of that Dirk.

It's strange how we spend our entire lives striving for money, power, and women despite the fact that time and time again we hear these stories illustrating how these are the very things that undo the men who have unlimited access to them.

Doc: Pierce, Perk, KG All Most Likely Need Surgery

Doc Rivers, on with Dennis and Callahan this morning as he is every week during the season, shed some light on KG's knee, other injuries that impacted the team, and how the team will progress moving forward.

From Green Street

On whether KG's knee is more serious than was reported:

"I don’t think there will be much more (than reported). I think it will be the strained tendon and the bone spur. What they started thinking at the end was that maybe the bone spur had something to do, maybe it started rubbing against the tendon and that’s what kept it inflamed. But they don’t know that. That’s just an assumption."


On other injuries that affected the team and will need to be addressed:

"Ray Allen had a hamstring problem throughout the Orlando series that was not getting better. Paul had some bone spurs that may need to be removed as well. (Kendrick Perkins) may have to have a procedure on his shoulder… In Ray’s case, I thought his hamstring was bothering him a lot. That could have had an effect on him (during the Magic series)."


On the future of he and Thibs with the C's:

on himself: "I have every intention of coming back".

on Thibs: "I hope he’s not back…(The 76ers job) will be a tough one to get. Tom’s not a good guy – he’s a great guy. And he’s a terrific coach. So I’m really pulling for him."



So, let's give a quick rundown of what we've learned:

1) It sounds like all the Celtics really knew was that KG's knee was effed up. There was no specific injury that people were keeping under cover. At no point was he "done for good" and they weren't telling us. If what Doc is saying is true, it sounds like it was really bothering him, and they kept trying it out, and the tendon was too inflamed for him to go. It also sounds like removing that bone spur will be the key to a clean bill of health for the big ticket.

2) Ray's hamstring was bothering him, which surely impacted his shooting (and allowed JJ Redick to stay with him). Paul Pierce had bone spurs in his knee, and may require surgery. We at roomofzen could tell Paul was not healthy, and were wondering about his knees very early in the postseason. I'm not the least bit surprised to learn that. Anybody could tell he was not healthy. Finally, Perk's shoulder, which the trainers were always working on before and during games, clearly didn't affect his overall game. However, I do wonder if there were times (for example, missing three straight layup tries in one posession in game 7) where the combination of the pain and the fatigue was too much for the big man. Luckily, these all sound like issues that can be cleared up in the offseason, and can have all these guys back and as good as new by the pre-season.

3) Doc is a committed family man and his family lives in Orlando, so I always worry about whether or not he will come back. It's great to hear that he'll be back. I truly believe he proved himself to be the best coach in the NBA this season. As far as losing Tom Thibodeau goes, it will be tough. I am going through a similar crisis with my New York Giants losing Steve Spagnuolo. But, this is the circle of life in professional sports. Doc has to be behind him, and so do we. If Doc were trying to convince him to stay, Thibs would start to resent him anyways. Good luck to him. And, besides, as we saw in 2007, it's more about the players than anything. As long as KG is back, I have faith that this team will play some serious D.

The Basketball Jones: The New Grateful Dead

The Basketball Jones has outdone itself again, producing this gem with thescore.com. This also aired three times today on The Score Television Network (Rogers Cable Provider, Canada). It makes me really psyched to hear that the Jones made it on to television (as I have always called them the best show on television, even though they are not on television). These guys should be doing playoff commercials on TNT and ESPN. If you can't find 20 minutes in your day to watch them, I really wonder what you're doing with your time. Eating lunch? Exercising? Working? Stop it.

And, it was the great Tas Melas who gave me the words I always say over and over again to myself when I start to question the refereeing (from hands down the greatest episode ever): "There is no conspiracy in this league".


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Flatline Blue and the Taste of Loss: The Roomofzen Tries To Live Up To Its Name

The only disappointing thing about this team is the way that they went out. It would have been much more appropriate, and much more telling of the season they had, for them to go out fighting and clawing for victory. That didn't happen. But, we can't complain. This Celtics team defended their title valiantly all season, and they never let any setbacks turn into excuses for them to mail it in. They gave us everything they had. Unfortunately, last night, they had nothing left. And I'll thank them for that, because it's not often you see a team completely empty themselves.

I still feel upset about last night, not upset at the Cs, but just because it was upsetting to watch. We started to see signs that this team was done in the second half of game 6 when they uncharacteristically pissed away a lead (sorry for not being more eloquent). But, it was clear last night that the Celtics' tank was empty. Orlando hasn't been able to hold a lead in the fourth quarter throughout this entire series (let it dwindle down in game 1, lost it in games 4 and 5). But heading into the fourth last night, with the Celtics barely breathing, the Magic sharpened their focus and squeezed the life out of the Cs. The Celtics let a lot of shots go uncontested, they were sloppy, and they couldn't finish. Paul Pierce's two missed free throws and Kendrick Perkins' three consecutive missed layups on one possession were tell tale signs that this team was exhausted.

I should say something like "Tip of the hat to the Magic. They were able to weather some tough setbacks in this series. They have some great shooters, and they create a lot of tough matchups." But, I'm still bitter, especially because with both teams at full strength the Celtics win. So, what I have to say would probably come out filled with backhanded compliments like "Dwight Howard impacts the game in so many ways that no other player can. Once he actually learns how to play basketball, he'll have a real shot at becoming one of the best big men this game has ever seen". And, I certainly don't want to do that.

We'll have a lot of issues to tackle this offseason, the biggest being the futures of Leon Powe and Glen Davis. I wouldn't be surprised if Big Baby played his way right into a big contract during this postseason. Don't expect the Celtics to overpay. Remember, they wouldn't overpay to bring James Posey back. All the reports I read last offseason indicate that the biggest priority is making sure there will be enough room to retain Rondo and Perk (in 2010 and 2011, respectively), as the organization views the two of them as the bridge out of the big three era and into the future. Will Glen Davis be the third part of that bridge? Tough to say right now, but I expect that we'll know where the organization stands soon enough.

We're going to spend a day or two reflecting on everything that has happened, and then we'll be counting down the top ten moments of this season. PLEASE send us an e-mail at oracle@roomofzen.com with your votes on both the top moment, and how you think the top ten will shake out. We'll hopefully have a reader quote for each moment. Be sure to include moments that you think would be in the bottom half of the list (as some of those are more memorable).

After a brief staff meeting, here are some of the nominees to be on our Official Roomofzen Top Ten Moments of the 2009 Season:

Opening Night, Paul Pierce in tears as the trophy is brought to him by the Celtic greats

November, Celtics come from behind to knock off the Raptors, KG wags his finger in Calderon's face

Two days later, Paul Pierce hits a buzzer beater to sink the Hawks

Election night, the Cs grind out a tough victory in Houston, I get yelled at by my fiancee for refusing to change the channel (in the final minute of the game) to the announcement of the new president, causing us to miss the official announcement.

Ray Allen hits a big three to seal a victory in Philadelphia

The KGless, TAless Celtics defeat the Cavaliers in Boston on a Friday night in March. Big Baby is ejected, LeBron clangs a dunk right off the rim.

KG's (temporary) return inspires the Cs to victory on a Friday night in San Antonio

A Sunday afternoon in March, the Celtics lose to Orlando, but Paul Pierce passes Robert Parish to become number three on the all-time Celtics scoring list (behind Bird and Havlicek)

Round 1, Game 2, Ray Allen wins it for the Celtics with a last second three pointer. About an hour later, we see Tommy Heinsohn at the Fours. He exclaims "It's time to wet the whistle" and orders a bloody mary and a shrimp cocktail

Round 1, Game 5, with KG in street clothes and Ray Allen fouled out, Paul Pierce leads the Celtics to a 2 point overtime victory.

Round 1, Game 7, Celtics seal up a victory in one of the greatest first round series in NBA playoff history.

Round 2, Game 4, Glen "the raging animal" Davis hits a last second jumper to give the Cs the victory and even up the series.

Round 2, Game 5, Despite being down double digits with just over 5 minutes to go, the Celtics find a way to win at home and take a lead in the series. The highlight was Stephon Marbury scoring 12 points in the first 6 minutes of the fourth quarter. Ray Allen hit a big three to seal it for the Cs.

Again, please email oracle@roomofzen.com with your picks for top moment, your top ten moments, and please let us know if we've left some out.

For now, I will refuse to go quietly in to baseball season. Let's all hope that Carmelo, KMart, and Chauncey can be 2009's version of Pierce, KG, and Ray.

This game is beautiful.

Amazing Indeed

You have to love this.

Game 7: Defenders of the Universe

I've referred to big Celtics runs as the times when they "form Voltron", because when they are able to ratchet up their defensive intensity, they form a five headed force that is completely unstoppable. At their best, they play team defense better than anyone in the league, and it tends to lead to easy buckets on the other end. Most recently, they were able to do this in the final half of the fourth quarter in game 5. When they are in the zone like this, there is nobody that can beat them, with or without KG (although they seem to be far less in control of when and for how long it happens with him gone). There is no point in talking about who is better or who should win tonight. The one thing I will say is that I'm really glad the there was an extra day of rest leading up to this matchup. We all just need to sit back, give ourselves up to it, and hope it happens.

In case you're unfamiliar, here's what it looks like:





important note: when I talk about the Celtics "forming Voltron", I am never ever ever referring to Vehicle Voltron.

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Patrick Ewing: The Consummate Pretender

I've stated several times during the lifetime of this site that I really believe the people over at ESPN are way too quick to jump on perceived "guarantees" by athletes and coaches. Plaxico Burress did not actually guarantee a win against the Patriots in Super Bowl 42. Jameer Nelson did not guarantee a win over the Celtics earlier this year. Stating that you think you can win or that you expect to win is not a guarantee. You're supposed to believe that. Members of the media put words in the mouths of athletes/coaches on the guarantee issue far more than any other issue in all of sports.

However, what Patrick Ewing said on Friday WAS, in fact, a guarantee. There is no gray area. First, he said a bunch of normal coach stuff about how if the Magic play together and play with their hearts they will win. No problem for me there. However, he followed it up by saying, "Even though I’m not playing, I’m guaranteeing a win." That's it right there! The kiss of death! And, the worst part is, it didn't even come from someone who will be playing in the game.

History was already stacked against the Magic. Now, their assistant coach, who has never followed through on a guarantee in his life (really, never. He guaranteed the Knicks would win the championship basically every other year. The details are here and here) has guaranteed a win on the road over a team that has not only never lost a game 7 at home, but has also never lost a series (like this one) in which they had a 3-2 lead.

Even Doc Rivers, who rarely says a bad word about anybody, couldn't help making light of Ewing's comments:

(huge grin)
"Patrick Ewing did that? We feel great. We feel great about that. I've been on those Knicks teams where he had some predictions. But you know what I've always said about predictions, what else are you going to say? Are you going to say no? But the Patrick prediction makes me feel better"


Patrick, I've got some advice for you. Maybe instead of spending your time on the radio making life more difficult for your team, you should stop stealing their money and actually spend some time teaching Dwight Howard how to score. He knows nothing. He has no hook, he has no face up jumper, and he clearly has no idea how to use his feet in the post. His footwork is atrocious. In fact, I can say with 100% certainty that I would choose Al Jefferson (thank you Clifford Ray) over him if my life depended on an offensive possession ending in a bucket. What exactly have the two of you been doing? Every one's asking, but nobody knows.


One more thing, Patrick. Don't stand on the tracks when a train's coming through. (please watch below, it makes me want to be a kid all over again)





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In Jesse Michaels We Trust:



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Charles Barkley Tees Off Right Into Man's Neck

Via Barstool Sports



I love Chuck, but this is ridiculous. There's a reason I don't golf, and it's that something like this would probably happen to me a lot, and every time it did I'd most likely be banned from the course and forced to relocate to a new unsuspecting golf community. Charles is lucky that he's a celebrity, because people just think this is funny (and it is). Is somebody going to have to lose their life before Chuck finally gives up golf?

LeBron/Kobe Puppet Commercials

A lot of people I've talked to didn't see the LeBron/Kobe puppet commercials last night because they were either flipping over to the Bs at commercials or because they were out at bars. If you're upset about the games, you probably want to punch me in the face for posting commercials with puppets in them. But, please watch. Trust me, they'll make you laugh. I've watched about 500 times this morning (like an angry child that needs to be cheered up).

The first one embedded here (the three championship rings) kills me. "Why do we live together?"

The Frustration Boils Over.

It's hard for me to even articulate why last night was so upsetting, and left me proclaiming loudly that "there is no god!" If Kevin Garnett and Leon Powe were healthy, I'd feel great. It would just be another typical series for this group. At full strength, I don't think anybody could beat the Cs in a game 7 in Boston. But, they're not, and that's why last night was unacceptable. After Sunday and Tuesday night, the Magic were on the ropes, and the Cs should have finished them off. Instead, they choked away a lead, let their foot of the Magic's throat, and let them back up. Now, it has become a one game series, and the Celtics are undermanned.

Yes, they'll have the crowd. Yes, they have the history (have never lost a series when leading 3-2), and they have all the intangibles and cliches that any fan would hope for. Those things make me optimistic. But, the fact still remains that without KG and Leon, they are taking a depleted front line in to bang with Dwight Howard. The fact still remains that without KG, Rashard Lewis is a huge mismatch for the Celtics. The fact still remains that, despite all the intangibles, they WILL NOT WIN if Ray Allen and Paul Pierce don't have better shooting nights. Glen Davis has had an incredible postseason, but wasn't he due for the trouble he had last night? He's a young player and we can't expect him to put up 20 and 10 every game. It's just not realistic. What happened in games 4 and 5 was memorable, but we can't expect it to be the norm. That's why they needed to put this one away. Instead, they wasted great performances from Rondo (save one horrendous inbounds pass) and Perk by playing spotty defense (minus one SICK scal block on Lewis down the stretch), missing free throws, and turning the ball over. It's hard to remember them ever playing a worse half in the postseason than the second half last night.

I am still confident in a Celtics win on Sunday. But, the longer this series goes, the more nervous I get. The Magic are incredibly talented, and I'm always worried about the Celtics finding themselves in early foul trouble. I will say this, I felt a lot better when I woke up to see that the Lakers had lost. Not because I hate them, but just because we're not the only ones.

What Really Grinds My Gears

In honor of Peter Griffin, I would like to share what really grinds my gears…

-Brad Childress. What a smug asshole. I have always hated him because he acts like he’s smarter than everyone even though he is 16 games away from getting fired and has never won a playoff game. The Garrett Mills situation seemed like a move to just stick it to the Pats and now this: http://www.profootballtalk.com/2009/04/27/childress-brags-about-plucking-percy-from-the-pats/ The PFT guys sum it up perfectly in that brief article. He is such an ass and I am now rooting for Percy Harvin to finish his career with 1 catch for -3 yards and 35 drops. Brad: you are acting like you have out done the top organization in football and the coach who beat you 31-7 in your only matchup. In that matchup, you were so badly outcoached that you didn’t know what hit you (this was the game that the Pats came out and threw the ball about 35 straight times to open the game to avoid the top run D in theLeague. BRILLIANT game plan).

-Peter King. Somewhat related to the Childress situation is the rumor that King spread about the Pats trying to move into the top 10. I cannot stand Peter King. He breaks about 3 of these fake stories a week, never breaks any meaningful news, and everyone treats him like he’s the second coming of Will McDonough. He needs to be called out when he makes up news like this, when the Pats were clearly looking to (and did) trade out of the 1st round. I listen to him on Sirius Radio once in a while and his command of the X’sand O’s are even worse. But the worst part about King is how big of a name dropper he is. He’ll say things like “I just got off the phone with Peyton Manning and he thought he had nice rhythm in the passing game” and it is 20 minutes after the game ended. Yeah, Peter, I’m sure that the first call anNFL player makes after a game is to you. He actually took credit for convincing Brandon Marshall that it would be cool to break out the black glove (a la the 1968 Olympics) after scoring the winning TD against the Browns last year. Sure, Peter, we all believe you. On a side note, SiriusNFL radio is awesome and they cover the game more thoroughly than any other source.

-Chris Berman. Alright, we get it, Chris, you are very clever. It would have taken me ages to come up with Albert “Winnie The” Pujols or Ben“Winter” Coates, but please stop the fucking nickname thing. He is such a blowhard. On a side note, I wish Berman could use inappropriate nicknames like Todd “Two in the” Pinkston “One in the Stinkston.”

-Three Point Distractions. Remember the technical that Eddie House got in the Bulls series for yelling at the Bulls Bench? It was because while teeing up a three-pointer next to their bench, the whole bench was on its feet and yelling in his ear from about a foot away. And Eddie gets the T for yelling back. I hate this new development in the NBA so much that it makes me want to kill a kitten. This isn’t a pickup game; these guys are professionals and they need to act like it on the bench. I am dumbfounded at the fact that the NBA hasn’t done anything about this.

-The NBA Refs. Speaking of the NBA not fixing problems, the refs are so miserable that I can’t stand to watch some nights. There is no consistencyto what they do and the only solution is a complete overhaul of the officiating. David Stern has uncharacteristically been a coward on this topic since the gambling scandal.

-Joba Chamberlain. Stop yelling and screaming at hitters when you notch meaningless strikeouts, Joba. I was watching the last Sox/Yanks series and he yelled and screamed after striking out Mike Lowell when the Yanks were losing 4-3 in about the 5th inning. I loved when Aubrey Huff yelled back after homering off him the other night. At least Joba’s mother isn’t adrug dealer…http://blogs.suntimes.com/sportsprose/2009/05/joba_chamberlains_mother_jacqu.html

-The Steroids Situation. I noticed that Nick loved the Simmons article, but I have to disagree with this majority opinion on steroids. Why is it such a crime against humanity when we find out anything negative about our favorite athlete? People need to stop acting like innocent little children about this stuff. Pro athletes are human and just like the rest of us,they have every negative quality that a human can have. There have been murderers, rapists, racists, wife beaters and everything else in pro sports. When it comes to cheating (in any way) to get a competitive edge I think people would be shocked to find that most athletes that stand to make millions of dollars from their performance have probably cheated in some form over their careers. If you think the actions of athletes will make your kids cheat and take steroids, then you are the problem and need to raise your kids better. If your kid acts like Simmons’ little wise-ass in the article, then you hand him a beer and tell him to shut up. I have never at any part of my life wanted to “be like” any pro athlete for anything other than what happens between the lines. This is entertainment, so watch the games and enjoy what you see. Trying to figure out who did what and which stats are legit is a practice in futility.

Game 6: Yes, Please Give Dwight More Touches

Physically, there are few athletes who can match Dwight Howard. What the guy has been able to accomplish thus far in his young career is incredible. However, this point is where the rubber finally meets the road. It's probably hard for Dwight to hear people questioning his game, because it may be the first time it's ever happened. Sure, people have questioned his mean streak and his killer instinct, but this has to be the first time people are actually criticizing his game. Kendrick Perkins has shut him down this series. Once he gets about a foot outside the charge circle, he cannot score. He has no post game whatsoever. He's airballing baby hooks!

I'm sure it's frustrating for him to hear people say that he doesn't deserve more touches. I predict Dwight will take a huge leap next season as a player, because this is the kind of thing that will force him to develop his game more this summer. It really seems like he hasn't developed at all. While LBJ comes back every season with a new facet of his game tightened up, Dwight is still having the same issues (swatting the ball out of bounds on every block, unable to score on any player that keeps him more than an arms length away from the rim, incompetent at the free throw line) that he has always had. I'm not bashing him. It seems like life on planet Dwight has been pretty sweet thus far. But, he SHOULD be a better player than Kendrick Perkins, and he has not been in this series. He needs these types of failures if he is ever going to become one of the all-time great big men that this league has ever seen.

So yes, please, give Dwight the ball tonight. As long as Rashard Lewis doesn't have it, I won't be worried.

KG: Footprints

As someone who finds their spiritual center in the world of sports, the imagery of KG as a Christ figure to a Celtics franchise that had suffered for a long stretch is not lost on me. I have felt his impact on what this team has done throughout the post season, and it has been most evident in the play of Glen Davis and Kendrick Perkins. In particular, Davis seems to be channeling Garnett's offensive game in a way that I never thought possible. At this point, I really think the sky is the limit for this team. They could find themselves back in the finals. And, if they do, I'd like to begin a new series of scripture that shall begin with the following reading.

(note: i don't know where this footprints thing originated, but everyone seemed to know it when outside providence came out).



One night Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, Rajon Rondo, Kendrick Perkins, Eddie House, Brian Scalabrine, Stephon Marbury, Mikki Moore, and Glen Davis all had a dream. They dreamed they were walking along the beach with Kevin Garnett. Across the sky flashed scenes from their lives. For each scene, they noticed nine sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to each of them and the ninth to KG.

When the last scene of their lives flashed before them, they looked back at the footprints in the sand. They noticed that one time along the path of their lives there were only eight sets of footprints. They also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and scariest time of their lives, the 2009 NBA playoffs.

This really bothered them and they questioned KG about it. They said "you said that once we decided to follow you, you'd walk with us all the way. But we have noticed that during the most troublesome time in our lives there are only eight sets of footprints. We don't understand why when we needed you most you would leave us."

KG replied, "my motherfucking precious, precious children, I Love you motherfuckers and I would never leave you! During your motherfucking times of trial and suffering when you see only eight motherfucking sets of footprints, it was then that I carried you motherfuckers on my back."


Amen.

Fucking God, man.

It's Never Too Early To Start Thinking About Football

With so much excitement happening in the NBA playoffs, it's important that we remember to devote some time to the upcoming NFL season.




Alright, that's good for me.

Let's Not Get Too Crazy, But.................

I was at the Garden for game 5 last night, and there is simply no way to sum that game up in words. There are no words than can do it justice (I've read just about everything that has been put out today on the subject). And, there's really no way to break it down analytically. It's simple: The Celtics played 3 horrible quarters, Stephon Marbury played 6 great minutes and held even while the studs rested, then the C's played 6 outstanding minutes. That was it. 6 outstanding minutes of basketball, and it was enough to beat the Magic. The outcome of last night's contest was not about strategy (although there was plenty of it: thank you Ben Gordon for burning us in game 4 last round and finally convincing Doc that you need to foul when you're up 3). It was all about teams with completely different mindsets. The Celtics never, ever believe they can lose. I've heard Paul Pierce say this time and time again, but I didn't know if I believed it. I've also heard Pierce say "we're the champs, and we're not going to quit until someone knocks us off", I've always taken it with a grain of salt. But, I realize now that I didn't believe him because I didn't believe they could do it without KG. Pierce did. So did Ray Allen. So do Kendrick Perkins, Rajon Rondo, Glen Davis, Doc Rivers, and everyone else on the team. It's a great and rare thing to see a situation where the players hold themselves to a higher standard than the fans. Losing in round 2 would have been acceptable to me given the circumstances. I'd understand it. These players simply won't accept it, and I'm starting to believe they have the potential to do some great things moving forward.

So, that being said, without sounding too crazy, let's really think about it:

- PP is getting healthier every game. This shouldn't be happening, but I know what I see.

- Perk is channeling the Chief. This is the toughest matchup he could possibly see, and he is owning Howard's shit.

- Stephon Marbury has been great, and I felt that way even before last night. He has played tremendous defense, and last night might give him the confidence he needs to start providing a big scoring spark from the bench. He and Eddie could be a real problem coming off the bench.

- Assuming Pierce is able to keep LeBron at least partially contained, who could Cleveland put out there that is more of a matchup problem for the Celtics than Rashard Lewis? Nobody. But, this series has turned out well so far.

- Big Baby can no longer be left open, and he is turning into a real weapon.


The list goes on and on. All I'm saying is that Orlando is dead. All along I've said that it would be a great accomplishment just to get to Cleveland. The Celtics showed me last night that they will fight tooth and nail to win every game. When I think about that, what they've done so far, and how things are shaping up, I begin to think maybe this whole thing isn't so crazy. The NBA finals could be returning to Boston.