The Babcock Report: We're Flying to Venus

I will attempt to string this stream-of-conciousness-Babcock- Report together as coherently as possible but I can make no promises. There is so much going on right now that I do not even have anytime to sit down and complete a rough draft, which many great writers will agree is necessary to a “readable” final product, so bear with me.

First off, it has been a few days since any more waitresses or 15 year olds have come forward with any accusations of having been hit-on, knocked up, or struck out by Roger Clemens. However, Mindy McCready, the original Rocketeer, is about to release a bio-pic that will allegedly include all of the details of her affair with Clemens. This article, also includes a Youtube video of McCready herself thanking fans for standing by her and promoting her new single “I’m Still Here”, which she wrote in jail. I haven’t listened to the song yet but I am positive that its title alludes to the fact that Clemens’ attempts to kill McCready off by getting her high on meth and cocaine and firing high and tight two-seamers at her have failed thus far. The title of the movie is Fallen Angel, but I respectfully submit Ace In the Hole as a far superior alternative. Maybe I called that a new album was in the works for McCready…and maybe I did. Check it out at OriginalMindyMcCready.com, or find one of 5.9 billion other better things to do.

The real question is, who gets to play Roger Clemens in the “film”? I’m thinking Bruce Willis or Steven Segal (sans-ponytail) although I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on that.

One note on the NBA Draft Lottery…I find it interesting that all of the teams involved send such a random collection of people to these things. You might think that you would just send your GM, but instead we get to see Dwayne Wade standing next to this guy:

I move that teams no longer send anyone actually associated with the team but instead choose a B-List celebrity to attend the Draft Lottery on their behalf…Just imagine Bobby Brown, Danny Bonnaduce, LC from the Hills, and Kevin Federline sitting around watching the ping pong balls swirling. That is drama. There is really no limit to how awesome that would be...or to how random the representatives might get. Seriously, David Stern, since you obviously don’t care about the horrible officiating in the NBA right now you might as well spend your time whoring out the league to bottom feeding celebrities to make a few extra dollars.

Tayshaun Prince: Leads the NBA in Super Delegates

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I was very happy with the Celtics win Tuesday night. I’m not going to get into too many details but I want to say three things:

1) I love the Rasheed Wallace Kevin Garnett matchup. Garnett had the last word in game 1 but you never know when Rasheed is going to go off on a tear. Garnett compared matching up against Wallace to looking in the mirror. Of course that would mean that Garnett had hair and bad teeth, but I think what he is trying to say is that their size, abilities, and intensity are comparable. I give the edge to Garnett as a defender, but Rasheed can be impossible to defend when his offensive game is going. You can count on a great battle in the post every game out of these guys. This is what makes the playoffs so badass.

2) Ray Allen is going to hit a HUGE shot this series. As soon as game 7 against the Cavs ended this just came to me. I cannot explain it. I do not know when it is going to happen, but it will. Be ready.

3) It is obvious the Chauncy Billups is less than 100%. Rondo may not be able to defend him in the post but the Celtics can easily counteract this by running Billups to death when he is on defense. Rondo can fly by him in the open court. When Detroit answers by sending Hamilton to cover Rondo, the Cs should use the same tactic and let Rajon run their best shooter into the ground. The more scrambling he does on defense the less mid-range jumpers he will knock down. (I love Rip Hamilton’s midrange game). It has to hurt the Pistons to have a guy nicknamed Mr. Big Shot playing hurt, or watching from the bench.

I will once again post this video…I heard it being played prior to tip off at the Garden. What makes this song so awesome is that it is only cool when you are at, or thinking about, a sporting event. There is really no other time in a persons day to day life when it would be necessary to listen to this. Unless of course you have a mullet and are driving in a Camaro on your way to an interplanetary space flight. Destination: Venus.